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View Full Version : Difficulty in accepting that you're healthy



ballerina
14-12-17, 21:31
I don't know if I'm alone in this. But I find it so difficult to accept that I'm healthy, that when I'm cleared of one thing, I almost search for something else to obsess over. I see young children in the news with terrible illnesses or dying in tragic accidents and I just think, how can I be in great physical health and have a decent life. SOMETHING has to give, and that's my health. Life isn't fair, even seemingly healthy people drop dead, at a lower rate than those with unhealthy lifestyles/chronic health problems but still. Why shouldn't I worry about getting something terrible? For example, a middle aged lady at my work dropped dead in the office the other day from a stroke, I don't know if she had previous conditions, but still it's scary how these things happen.

I convince myself I'm going to be one of those few that slips through the net in terms of doctors missing serious problems. All of my family pretty much have lived healthy full lives, both my grandmothers, one lived well in her 80s and the other is now 80 and is in excellent health besides some age related eyesight problems. My dad, and my mum's dad died pretty young, but they were "self inflicted" aliments, smoking and drinking related illnesses. My two paternal aunts had breast cancer in their 50s but overcame it and are now in good health thanks to our NHS. My mum is in her 50s and has never had any serious health problems.

I'm pretty certain I get my anxiety from my dad, he was anxious about many of the same things as me, such as air travel, even though he was an engineer and knew the minuscule risk of dying in a crash he wouldn't go on a plane. Also when he was very ill he refused to see a doctor, go into hospital etc. Even with his illnesses he may be alive today if he allowed them to treat him.

I don't know why I'm so certain that I'm going to be one to die of something terrible, either a long slow decline into cancer a shadow of my former self while my friends go on to get married and have children, or that I'm going to be sat there and randomly have a heart attack or an embolism and be gone in a panicky flash.

I think they call it 'magical thinking' or something like that, I think the most insane things like, "I've already beat the odds by being left handed and redheaded, so why wouldn't I beat the odds of having cancer young". Or "I was flicking through the tv channels and a programme about young people with terminal illnesses is on, it's a sign." Everyone else in my family seems to have a great life, except me, I'm the one who had an up and down childhood with an alcoholic father, so why shouldn't I be the one who gets ill and dies? Even though that's not how it logically works.

I have a friend who smokes, is overweight, is on birth control, has a pretty sedentary lifestyle and has a family history of blood clotting disorders, yet I don't have any of those things and I'm the one terrified of blood clots when my leg is cramping up. The magic of anxiety.

I crave certainty that I'm going to die as a happy old lady with a life fully lived and a big family. But I can't have that, nobody can, I just need to develop the coping with uncertainty that seems to come naturally to most, and only crosses their mind every so often.

Sorry I just used this thread as basically a diary entry, feel free to reply if you relate to anything :/

O_O
14-12-17, 21:45
Oh, I'm very similar. I'm sure lots of people on here are.

Right now, my doctors are telling me I'm fine. I'm finding that a very difficult thing to believe. I have a few symptoms which I can't believe are nothing but I've reached the point where I don't even want to think about them any more or do any more tests so I'm just ignoring them. But I quite strongly feel that it's only a matter of time until I have to go back to the doctor, have some tests, and get diagnosed with something bad. But right now I don't want anything to do with it. Too exhausting.

I can't visualise my future either. Like, I can't imagine going back to work (I've been signed off) or getting a boyfriend or starting a family. I just feel like it's only going to go down from here until I get a diagnosis. I'm just putting off the inevitable by burying my head in the sand for now.

Mountains_Lakes
14-12-17, 22:37
Hi, can totally relate,

Over the past 15-20 years, I have convinced myself that my brain is or has been previously damaged by previous life events.

at 6 years old my mother dies of MS (neurological disease)
6-10 years old - being told by my abusive father that there was "something wrong with me" and "that I had brain damage". (Cheers dad. ya big douche)
1991-94 I went to raves and took ecstasy, etc
1995 got hit over the head and knocked out while drunk, left for dead
1996 started feeling depressed, started obsessing about long-term effects of ecstasy.
Father handed me newspaper article on brain damage from ecstasy - I developed huge paranoia about brain damage from ecstasy which lasted for next 10-15 years, despite getting a 2.1 from a top UK university in 2003

2009 exposed to more family dysfunction, listened to brainwave entrainment to relax - became suicidal and ended up in pyschiatric ward as I was 100% convinced the brainwave entrainment had damaged my brain, this belief lasted 18 mths.
Recovered and got my life back together

2015 Got punched in the head a lot during a nasty thai boxing session. Became convinced I had suffered major concussion and was brain damaged for life for real this time. Was off work for 3 months with severe anxiety and depression. Recovered, then got lots of private blood tests to check pituitary and thryoid function, all normal.

2017. Forced to move house, father dies, started new job, bullied in new job, fired.
Felt like crap and fatigued for months, concerned my pituitary gland was now eventually failing due to 2015 head trauma. More and more blood tests, all came back normal. Was convinced that GP was overlooking Growth Hormone deficiency.

Started new job 7 weeks ago - stressful. 3-4 weeks ago I was in the gym and still in partial contact with freeweights as I dropped/lowered them to the floor, I felt a jolt in my head, got a bit anxious. Symptoms of concussion emerged a few days later - have been signed off work since with major anxiety and depression over brain damage.

It now looks like I will lose my job due to depression, however, despite everyone telling me otherwise, including my therapist, I am still unable to accept that I don't have brain damage from dropping the weights and my belief is a combination of a learnt health anxiety response and high stress due to a crappy 2017.

My brain damage fear isnt helped by the fact I clonked my head several times as a child/teen, have had my fair share of fights and previous martial arts training.

Deepest Blue
14-12-17, 23:25
Hey,

I can certainly relate to this and I used to go through phases of sincerely believing I had an illness which left me feeling so debilitating and unable to function properly through worry, not sleeping, not eating and it wasn't until I had various tests for what I believed I had that I only started to feel better about things and relieved that I may actually be OK.

I also know of people who have suddenly passed away certainly at a young age and it shocks you into thinking why them and not me, especially if you're of the same age or a little older, they looked perfectly fine then all of a sudden they're gone.

I hope you feel better soon,
Take Care.

Caseyg89
15-12-17, 13:44
This is totally characteristic of OCD. My psychologist is having me work on tolerating the uncertainity. One of the most difficult parts with this is when you have unexplained symptoms. I've been having a ton of stomach issues for almost a year now and have had an MRI, CT scan, 2 endoscopes, 2 colonoscopies, 8 ultrasounds and a barium swallow. Everything is coming back as clear, which is great, but I can't believe it since I'm feeling unwell. It's so hard when you don't have answers. For me, this makes me convinced it's cancer (even though if it was cancer I'm sure it's very lik2ly to be found). Since none of those tests are 100 %, I really struggle.

Eventhesparrows
15-12-17, 14:54
I just posted a thread on this. I'm seriously delusional. My CBC came back clear yesterday, but I still think I could have leukemia. :doh: