Why do I get so anxious before I go away on holiday?

[Beckybecks]

I don't know why I put myself through this!
Every time we plan a holiday I get so anxious and ill before hand that I end up spoiling my whole holiday.

10 months ago we moved to another country. It's hot, dry and uncomfortable. I don't enjoy it. We decided to go and visit our daughter for Christmas. It's far but we thought we'd make a road trip out of it. Two days on the road and then 10 days at the beach and spending time with her.
It's all I've wanted to do since I got here.

So why oh why does my mind do this to me now?
I love road trips. I miss the beach. I long to spend time with my daughter.

My friend asked 'aren't you excited?'
I'm not!
I'm physically ill with anxiety. Awful IBS, no appetite, constant diarrhea , nausea, stomach cramps, crying.
It doesn't make sense.

My husband says 'why do you always do this to yourself? Don't let it spoil your holiday again'.
He's right, I do it over and over again.
Anyone else do this.
Any idea why?

[panicface]

Travel is stressful, change is stressful. if u stay at home, no matter how unpleasant your mind can unconsciously map out today, tomorrow, next day etc.

they're all known qualities, you're safe. if something happens when at home you probably know how to head it off, fix it.

travel (even to someplace known / wished for) is a lot more 'unknown' - then you have issues like:

- leaving the house
- travel peril (roadtrip / planes / trains)
- lots of open space and in-between safe points (if agoraphobic)
- no easy / quick way back to your safe spaces

i love to travel / 50+ countries. and each year lately i've been doing 2 - 3 month non-stop trips... it's nightmarish at times, but that's life.

before a trip a few things that help me:

- cut down the gym time to almost nothing per day (de-stress my body)
- i pack my suitcase at least 5 days ahead as packing the day of is stressful
- make a complete list of things that have to be done pre-trip and check them off as early as i can
- take a xanax daily for 2 days leading up to trip
- take xanax before i head to airport
- load my ipad with some of my fave (reassuring) videos and music
- turn my mind off when it starts with all the BS / what if / coming soon etc - just literally blank it out
- i don't talk about it with my partner as voicing it makes it real

good luck

[Beckybecks]

Thanks so much for your reply. It all makes sense. I just wish my mind could see that :wacko:

[Juggar]

I totally understand. Traveling has been very stressful for me. I know I shouldn’t be anxious but I am. Came here looking for this exact issue and glad I found a post on it.

Once the holidays are over I’ll feel much better, as I’m sure a lot of you will as well.

[Twisted_fairytales]

I'm exactly the same. Not just holidays but day trips too. I made myself so ill the night before we went to a theme park I didn't think I'd be able.to.go! I think it's the pressure of worrying you will.be anxious/ill and ruin it for others and feel panicked that you're not in a familiar environment. Totally sympathise.

[Beckybecks]

Thanks for all the replies. Good to have some buddies who understand :). I darent tell anyone else - they'll think I'm crazy!
Everyone loves to go on holiday and I thought I did too.

I'm just worried that this will ruin the time I have away.
I know what's causing it - insecurities of being in unfamiliar places.
I know why I have the IBS symptoms and I know they're not due to any awful disease. I think I'm just scared the symptoms won't go away.
And I even know that while I worry about them they'll continue.....

Why won't my mind understand this ? :doh:

It's also just that time of the year. Christmas is supposed to be a fun time. But so often it's just a big trigger for anxiety.