racing thoughts.. I feel guilty

[dancerja77]

So- I have been in a committed relationship for about 2 years now. I love this person with all of my heart. Lately I have been having symptoms of depression, (withdraw, numbness of emotions) I was perscribed Zoloft but haven't started it yet. Recently at work, I found myself attracted to a new worker. We have a similar personality, and I just find it easy to talk to him. In no way do I want to cheat, or leave my boyfriend, I just feel guilty having a "crush" new worker has a girlfriend as well. Anyways- After work last night, (we work late into the night, about 1:30 am, so close to bed time.) I couldn't stop thinking about him, in a bad way. Unwanted way. It was like my mind was punishing me for feeling that way. I had racing thoughts all night, I saw him when I woke up. This is all UNWANTED and causing me extreme anxiety. I know I haven't done anything wrong but I want these thoughts to stop. I feel horrible about everything. I have actually had this happen in the past, with another person I "vibed" with at work. It did go away eventually, so I am wondering if this is just part of my anxiety/Rocd. If anyone has any comforting words this would be helpful. The last guy I dated did not believe in anxiety, and I told him about the racing thoughts about the other man (unwanted again) and he freaked out on me and we broke up. I don't think it's necessary to confess because that will start my ocd cycle again.. I just need advice. :(

[Juustopallo]

Let me tell you something. We all get little crushes on different people. Even those who are in relationship. I've been with my girlfriend for five years, we have a wonderful relationship but during this time I've had small crushes on my co-worker, my fellow students, my girlfriends sister etc. This is completely normal. A responsible adult aknowledges the fact that he'she has a crush on someone else, enjoys the feeling (after all it feels kind of nice!) and decides not to act according to these short lasting feelings and thoughts because the actual relationship is much more important. But having these thoughts and feelings is completely normal. It's just a taboo as a subject. Rationally you know this. You've had these experiences before.

Now what you got to do is not to seek for any more reassurance because that is compulsive behavior. As you might know, compulsions make obsessions stronger. Identify all your compulsive behavior and cut it out. Compulsions are anything you do to cope, control or check your thoughts and feelings. That will be hard work but once you do this, your anxiety will peak and slowly the obsession will start to fade away. Now when you have these thoughts, just notice them. "My mind is doing its bullshit again" and refocus your attention to whatever is important in that particular moment. Keep doing what you were doing before that thought entered into your mind. Dont try to push the thought away but instead act WHILE having that thought in your head. You'll learn that the stuff in your head is just stuff in your head and you'll be able to do anything in the world even while having the nastiest images of yourself cheating on your partner in your head.

[dancerja77]

Thank you... Xo