Helping is not working

[domino]

Right i,ve had enough, my daughter is taking me and her dad for a ride,she lives with us, and is 24, we love her to bits and we would do anything for her. Rencently she has got herself into some debt, i bailed her out last year, and she is paying me back so much each month, we then found that she had a loan from the bank, her dad has just been told about it and has agreedto pay off her loan, he will be paid back in monthly payments , so she now has two debts to pay off. Today i am tiding up and find a credit card bill to be paid on the 4th july, do,nt want to say how much ,but she has nearly gone to the max on it.Why is she doing this to us , we agreed that she would not have anymore credit cards, but still arrive, her dad has said that she will have to move out if this carries on, but i feel terrible, i,m trying to help but i,m getting nowhere.She would never manage on her own , and i would worry all the more, i do,nt know what to do need some advice please.:weep::mad:

[Lindalou64]

Hi Rickards,
I totally understand, I have 2 boys 18 and 22.....i give them every penny i have when they need it,why i dunno cause we feel bad and why they do the things they do its todays generation, ive always ask myself this why...they think... well they dont think of reality they think its just gonna go away or we are gonna pick up there slack...i think most parents with older kids can relate to this so i really dont have the answer to stop this cycle exept maybe we all need to shut them out completley money wise.....but we dont cause we worry, its always something and always will be alls we can do is hope one day they will get on there own feet with out getting into a slump.i wish ya the best, my older son is on his own but it kills me when i hear him say he has to pay this and that and has no food.so as a mom what do we do which this i dont mind as long as it dont become a habit is to help there...cause one of these days hes gonna take care of me lol.im serious......just know your not alone on this topic........Linda

[lilibet]

Dear Rickards

Just thought you might be interested in reading pages 24 & 25 in this weeks WOMAN MAGAZINE.

Love Lilibet
x

[domino]

Thankyou both for your replies, libbie ,will get magazine later thanks for the that.:hugs:to you both xx

[Southern_Belle]

Hi,

I too am a sufferer of a young adult who won't get their act together. He just turned 22 and still lives at home. He stated he was going to join the Air Force but has yet to meet with a Recruiter. He too is in debt up to his eye balls. He works full time bartending opting not to go to college (university to you) that we would have paid for in full. He goes out night after night and I'm going bald with worry. His father gets woken up every time he wanders in around 3 a.m. and is ready to kick him out. I too don't understand why the lack of respect. If anybody has an answer, I'm willing to listen.

Laura

[kazzie]

Hi There:D

Kids eh????? Who would have em????

I have 2 boys aged 21 and 24

The 24 yr old has 2 kids and is married and hasent spoken to me in 2 years Im not allowed to see my grandkids or anything!!!

My 21 yr old is the nicest sweetest guy you could ever hope to meet but is totally useless at looking after himself lol

That said he is not in debt or anything but from my point of view I would rather have him home depending on me than have my eldest who dosent care about me at all!!!

Best of luck

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Granny Primark]

I really sympathise lorraine.
2 years ago we found out my son had gambling debts of £20.000
You think they should know better.
You then start questioning yourself as to if youve brought them up wrong.
You do your very best to work hard and give them the best you can afford. You support them emotionally and financially but they just stab you in the back.
Ive been mentally and physically abused by my son. Ive even been told by him that hes going come round and set me on fire.
My love for him is unconditional but theres only so much a person can take.
So many times ive questioned myself as to what ive done to warrant the abuse. But i know in my heart im not a bad person or a bad mum.
I think where weve gone wrong is weve been to kind and too soft.
Loads of luck lorraine

Take care
LYNN xx

[domino]

Thanks guys for your replies,. Well we have had a chat, and i think that it has done some good, only time will tell, kids eh .:buttkick:

[joy]

im fed up too as its their Dads 70th birthday and I'm having a hell of a job getting there to put themselves out to come and visit!!!

Joy