Health anxiety sky high because of mothers cancer

[AussieWorrier]

Hi all
Well I'm going through a terrible anxiety time due to my mothers cancer being treated for the second time. She had breast cancer that had spread to her lungs and has started chemotherapy which she didn't accept at the beginning but now it's a last resort as medication is not working. She's 74 and a heavy smoker has a bad diet and is generally self negligent when it comes to her health and it seems she's given up trying :( meanwhile all I do is google and google and GOOGLE everything and anything. We don't have cancer in the family ... her mother lived to 105 ! I take good care of my health eat well exercise and I've never smoked or drank alcohol ... I'm 51 I had 2 mammograms. One at 47 and another at 49 yet now I refuse to get one fearing exposure to radiation and knowing it won't make a difference anyway... so my question is how do I stop worrying and just live my life as normal with all this going on around me ?

[countrygirl]

None of us on here have managed to answer that question!
Sadly we cannot control what happens with our health and this is hardest thing for us with health anxiety. I was once told by a dr that we can live in constant fear then die or we can try to enjoy life before we die!

[Rootytooty]

Hi Aussieworrier

I totally understand your fears. This time last year my Dad was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer. Unfortunately, there was nothing they could do for him, and we lost him 7 weeks after diagnosis.

There is nothing you can do except try to live a health life. My Dad worked with asbestos as an apprentice, and also smoked for 30 years (but gave up for 30 too!)

[Chris 614]

My dad had three different cancers, never smoked cigarettes, did smoke an occasional cigar. The last cancer was pancreatic. He fought it hard, but died four years ago at 79. One of his sisters smoked for 60 years...no cancer, mild emphysema, lived to 85. He has a brother who smokes many cigars a day, no cancer, he's 86. His oncologist said some people get cancer, some don't. That's how it is.

Cancer sucks. I can understand why it would cause much anxiety for you. Get your mammograms. Breast cancer caught early is very curable. Many cancers are curable. The radiation from a mammogram won't kill you.

And try to stop googling.

[Fishmanpa]

so my question is how do I stop worrying and just live my life as normal with all this going on around me ?

I'm truly sorry about your Mom. I lost my mom last year. There were several reasons she passed and one was cancer. I also dealt with a devastating illness with my wife and I'm a survivor myself.

To answer the question?... One cannot live "normally" when in the midst of dealing with high levels of adversity and stress in their lives. When things are falling apart around you, you go into survival mode. It takes everything you have just to get through the day sometimes.

Life evolves and "normal", whatever that is for you, evolves as well. It's about accepting and living with the "new normal" that's the real challenge and key.

All I can say from experience is that you eventually will adapt to the changes in your life. Whether or not you make peace with them is up to you. There's no shame in seeking help if you're finding it difficult to do so. We sometimes get caught up in negative self talk that sabotages our happiness. The key is learning to accept and adapt and get some fresh perspectives outside of our own heads. I know from experience, seeking real life professional help will allow you to see those perspectives and ultimately help you accept what you know you cannot change or control.

Positive thoughts

[AussieWorrier]

Thank you all for your replies ... I really appreciate it :)

[Careful1]

I dont have anything to add.. I just wanted to send you hugs :hugs: