rabbitlifts
27-12-17, 11:25
Hi everyone,
I have a five month old baby. I am also a weightlifter, I have big plans and ambitions. We have a great sitter and he's very healthy and so far everything's been super good. He is getting all the mandatory vaccinations done.
I am a very goal-oriented person and also I have major health anxiety. One of my worst fears is getting seriously ill and not being able to train, losing all the progress I work so hard for every day. The idea itself of this happening has lead me to have panic attacks more than once so far.
I am so scared that my child will catch something and I wont be able to control things (I get thoughts like "even if I sanitize everything these products dont kill everything...most of them dont even get the viruses and new strains of germs"..."what if our sitter forgets to wash her hands after changing a diaper and then touches everything including the fridge...Im out most of the day so I cannot control what she does") and that I will get seriously ill. I have heard horror stories of illnesses that aren't as serious when you are a child but if you catch them as an adult its extremely serious and recovery is longer. Even the idea of being out of training for two weeks is terrifying and panic-inducing.
Another issue is I didn't have some repeat vaccinations ( I had a negative reaction to a vaccination and my parents were scared to give me some shots) and I dont have the records, so I'm not sure what I'm immune against. And even if I find the records and am "supposed" to have immunity some people still get sick in spite of having had vaccinations at some point so I don't trust that. Unless, perhaps, there was a way to conclusively proove that I had some decent antibodies in my body.
I also have emetophobia which makes this even worse.
These fears make me resent my child. Thats terrible because it's not his fault and it hasn't even happened yet! :doh:It makes no sense and makes me hate myself. My health is the most important thing to me in the world, and my ability to do what I love (train, compete).
I really need some reassurance, positive constructive advice on this issue and some positive accounts/anecdotes to reassure me. :flowers:
***BEFORE YOU REPLY: Some people may want to judge me for having ambitions. But this is a health anxiety forum, not a parenting forum. I am also aware of my own personality flaws, I know I am on the selfish side. I hope you can overlook that and just identify with me as a fellow health-anxiety sufferer. Thank you, I hope you can appreciate my honesty. Hearing some reassuring advice and kindness will probably make me a better mum, because I won't be terrified of my baby as a potential source of sickness.
I have a five month old baby. I am also a weightlifter, I have big plans and ambitions. We have a great sitter and he's very healthy and so far everything's been super good. He is getting all the mandatory vaccinations done.
I am a very goal-oriented person and also I have major health anxiety. One of my worst fears is getting seriously ill and not being able to train, losing all the progress I work so hard for every day. The idea itself of this happening has lead me to have panic attacks more than once so far.
I am so scared that my child will catch something and I wont be able to control things (I get thoughts like "even if I sanitize everything these products dont kill everything...most of them dont even get the viruses and new strains of germs"..."what if our sitter forgets to wash her hands after changing a diaper and then touches everything including the fridge...Im out most of the day so I cannot control what she does") and that I will get seriously ill. I have heard horror stories of illnesses that aren't as serious when you are a child but if you catch them as an adult its extremely serious and recovery is longer. Even the idea of being out of training for two weeks is terrifying and panic-inducing.
Another issue is I didn't have some repeat vaccinations ( I had a negative reaction to a vaccination and my parents were scared to give me some shots) and I dont have the records, so I'm not sure what I'm immune against. And even if I find the records and am "supposed" to have immunity some people still get sick in spite of having had vaccinations at some point so I don't trust that. Unless, perhaps, there was a way to conclusively proove that I had some decent antibodies in my body.
I also have emetophobia which makes this even worse.
These fears make me resent my child. Thats terrible because it's not his fault and it hasn't even happened yet! :doh:It makes no sense and makes me hate myself. My health is the most important thing to me in the world, and my ability to do what I love (train, compete).
I really need some reassurance, positive constructive advice on this issue and some positive accounts/anecdotes to reassure me. :flowers:
***BEFORE YOU REPLY: Some people may want to judge me for having ambitions. But this is a health anxiety forum, not a parenting forum. I am also aware of my own personality flaws, I know I am on the selfish side. I hope you can overlook that and just identify with me as a fellow health-anxiety sufferer. Thank you, I hope you can appreciate my honesty. Hearing some reassuring advice and kindness will probably make me a better mum, because I won't be terrified of my baby as a potential source of sickness.