Lev1985
27-12-17, 19:08
Hello All,
I am about to tell you my story which I hope will act as a kind of therapy for myself (still waiting on the CBT referral from the NHS - only been waiting since April :whistles:).
Anyway, I have suffered from health anxiety all my life, even when I was a wee lad I always seem to remember checking my body for lumps and bumps and being overly worried about the least thing.
As I grew older these worries intensified. I was on a holiday with my friends when I was in my late teens and I got really sick, I panicked so much I convinced myself I was having a heart attack. I even took myself off to a hospital to be checked much to the amusement of my friends.
Then came the HIV worry. I used to work in a lab which tested HIV (I was in no way near this stuff but I still managed to convince myself that I had somehow been infected). I got tested and as predicted all came back okay. Next worry....
rabies, after seeing how horrible this disease can be (after watching some dodgy tv doc), I convinced myself that I had contracted this whilst holidaying in hungary. A stray dog was walking past me and I was convinced saliva from it got on me and gave me this condition. Anyway....once I got over that I moved onto brain tumours, heart attacks etc etc. I am constantly checking lymph nodes and my body for lumps and bumps.
Then came the contamination fears. I began to worry about asbestos and I have had a few meltdowns whereby I was convinced we had this in our house and this was coming from the floor tiles and ceiling (house is rented but needs some tlc) and anyway this would be on my mind at all times. I am not so much worried about myself regarding this, its my kids that I worry about, the thought of them getting some asbestos related disease because of me makes me feel sick.
Then the most recent, lead from old paint. Some of our paint has been chipping away to reveal the previous coat underneath. Again, a few meltdowns about this but I am trying to see it rationally. If it was so dangerous and if it was such a problem why are people my folks age still alive, healthy and well. I am trying to restrain myself from asking for reassurance (my wife is ever so patient with me).
I am just so sick and tired of worrying all the time. I am on 100mg of sertraline which I have been on for years. I have been to my doc about CBT and I am awaiting to hear from the hosp with an appointment.
Anyway sorry for going on, I just wanted to put how I was feeling down in words to try and make my self feel a bit better.
I am about to tell you my story which I hope will act as a kind of therapy for myself (still waiting on the CBT referral from the NHS - only been waiting since April :whistles:).
Anyway, I have suffered from health anxiety all my life, even when I was a wee lad I always seem to remember checking my body for lumps and bumps and being overly worried about the least thing.
As I grew older these worries intensified. I was on a holiday with my friends when I was in my late teens and I got really sick, I panicked so much I convinced myself I was having a heart attack. I even took myself off to a hospital to be checked much to the amusement of my friends.
Then came the HIV worry. I used to work in a lab which tested HIV (I was in no way near this stuff but I still managed to convince myself that I had somehow been infected). I got tested and as predicted all came back okay. Next worry....
rabies, after seeing how horrible this disease can be (after watching some dodgy tv doc), I convinced myself that I had contracted this whilst holidaying in hungary. A stray dog was walking past me and I was convinced saliva from it got on me and gave me this condition. Anyway....once I got over that I moved onto brain tumours, heart attacks etc etc. I am constantly checking lymph nodes and my body for lumps and bumps.
Then came the contamination fears. I began to worry about asbestos and I have had a few meltdowns whereby I was convinced we had this in our house and this was coming from the floor tiles and ceiling (house is rented but needs some tlc) and anyway this would be on my mind at all times. I am not so much worried about myself regarding this, its my kids that I worry about, the thought of them getting some asbestos related disease because of me makes me feel sick.
Then the most recent, lead from old paint. Some of our paint has been chipping away to reveal the previous coat underneath. Again, a few meltdowns about this but I am trying to see it rationally. If it was so dangerous and if it was such a problem why are people my folks age still alive, healthy and well. I am trying to restrain myself from asking for reassurance (my wife is ever so patient with me).
I am just so sick and tired of worrying all the time. I am on 100mg of sertraline which I have been on for years. I have been to my doc about CBT and I am awaiting to hear from the hosp with an appointment.
Anyway sorry for going on, I just wanted to put how I was feeling down in words to try and make my self feel a bit better.