Dear Christmas Flu - You put Everything in Perspective

[elysemarie123]

So two days after Christmas, my worst nightmare came true. I got really really sick. I went to bed with a sore throat and thought I was just going to have a cold but I woke up and felt like I got hit by a bus. So sore and my head felt like a balloon. I had a fever ranging from 99.4 - 99.8 (which isn't high, I know). I called out of work for two days and went to Urgent Care yesterday. I started feeling better yesterday but am back to work today and feel pretty good. I'm very congested but I actually feel like a human again.

So here's a couple things I learned:
1. one of my triggers is the flu -- I spent all day on Wednesday moping around, knowing it was the end and that I was doomed. If I could go back two days and slap myself I would. I was debilitated from fear about this sickness which probably made me feel ten times worse than I actually felt and I didn't do anything to help myself.
2. I AM BETTER. I really need to learn to trust my body and know that a stupid flu bug can't get me down (maybe for a day or two but not forever).
3. I CAN'T LIVE MY LIFE LIKE THIS ANYMORE. I am so sick of focusing on every symptom all the time and truly want to get better. I know I've said this before and wrote it before (like 2 years ago when I broke my ankle) but relapse is real.

So I am making a New Year's resolution that I will actually keep. I am going to be kind to myself and trust and love myself with whatever is happening. I am going to learn that being out of my comfort zone is fine and that I will become a better person because of it. I am going to let go of this dragon once and for all and work on improving my mental health -- because after all, my mind is the only thing that is "sick".

If you have any suggestions about how to help my achieve my goal, please let me know. Any advice is welcome! Also - I am on Sertraline (have been for almost 10 years), went to CBT (didn't finish b/c work was too busy) and read the course that Robin advertises on here all the time.

[Pansy]

I am so with you........................today has been a real trial with anxiety hitting the heights. I was driving home and while I sat at the lights I just shouted 'ENOUGH'. I've had it with feeling bad a lot of the time, I'm sick of not doing what I want because I'm afraid to. I'm not physically ill, I know this because of recent tests.

I came on here today to get some ideas - I want to make a plan.

Elysemarie123 I like your new years resolution - be kind to yourself. Great idea.

I did have quite a long time without too much anxiety but in this past six months it sneaked up again and knocked me over.

I think people have said a good start is getting fit, eating and sleeping well so that is my first plan. I might try CBT, not sure yet, or maybe Robin's course.

I hope all goes well with you. :)

[Careful1]

I am happy for you :hugs: I had horrible health anxiety in my early 20s and suffered for YEARS. I spent all my time jumping from doctor to doctor, every day was filled with doom and worry thinking convincing myself I was dying. At night after I put my kids to bed I would stay up all night looking up my symptoms and reading medical things.
I tried therapy and medication but it didn't work for me and at one point the doctor had me on so many meds I was like a zombie and I couldn't keep awake for anything. I went through a very deep depression and I had just had enough. I didn't want to be like that anymore but I was unsure how to change my brain because even as a young child I was a hypochondriac. In the end I just constantly told myself that I was okay, I wasn't dying and even if death did come for me there was nothing I could do to stop it so what was the sense in worrying about it? I stopped myself from googling symptoms and anytime I had a negative thought, I pushed it from my mind. I kept busy too. In time things got better and better.. I think in the end I had to change my thought process, if that makes sense... I lived for the most part anxiety free the last 7 or so years... I am having a bit of a set back at the moment but I am hoping that once the doctors figure out whats going on with me I will be able to get back on the right track.

You have made up your mind and while it might take a little time and some trial and error you will find what works for you :)

[elysemarie123]

Thank you Pansy and Careful1! It's pretty amazing how quickly it can spiral out of control. I guess we are lucky because we hit the "enough is enough" stage. I wish you the best in your HA journey! If you need someone to stay accountable with, I'm here!

I think working out, eating well and sleeping enough is a GREAT place to start. I've been lacking in working out and eating well for sure. Also, Robin's course is great for thought changing, but I just have to remember to use it when I am in a spiral.

[Fishmanpa]

Good post. Love the positive attitude. Believe it or not, a positive attitude is more than 50% of the battle in life.

Having actually suffered from some of the fears on this board, I can tell you that, when looked at in the proper perspective, a serious illness will in fact give you a different perspective. Personally, I've literally faced death three times in the last ten years. One time I actually technically passed away in the ER during my first heart attack. They hit me with the paddles.

It was interesting to say the least as it was nothing like you hear about. No life flashing before my eyes or anything. I was in the ER and in distress. I felt a weird warm rush feeling start in the depths of my torso and that feeling began to well up in my body and chest. My first thought was "that's weird"... and then my next thought was "this can't be good". The next thing I remember was waking up. They told me what happened. If that's what happens when you die, it's not a bad deal... just one moment here, the next gone. If I have any concern, it would be suffering a lot prior. But a "turn off the lights" deal is cool by me.

So... that experience as well as my 2nd heart attack and battle with cancer taught me not to fear death. I truly don't. As far as other physical issues and such? I view them more of a PITA than worry about them. Being sick or in pain (like I am 24/7) hinders me from enjoying things. So, I do what I can to treat the symptoms and work on that positive attitude daily. That thread of Positive Thoughts (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=173453) is as much for me as it is everyone.

Remember... "Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we handle it". Charles Swindoll.

Positive thoughts

[elysemarie123]

Fishman -- what an amazing story. How did you get to this point of acceptance? Do you still suffer with any health anxiety?

[Fishmanpa]

Fishman -- what an amazing story. How did you get to this point of acceptance? Do you still suffer with any health anxiety?

I never suffered from it. I found this forum because there were HA sufferers coming on the cancer forums and basically writing the same things they do here. After reassurance from real cancer sufferers, the cycle of "what ifs" kept coming. I ended up following a couple to this forum to give them a piece of my mind. After reading a bit I decided to stick around and try to help. I also have a daughter that suffers from anxiety and depression and I've learned a lot by reading here and that helps me help her.

As far as myself? I suffered from some depression after my illnesses and some "scanxiety" for a couple of years as my cancer had a better than 50% chance of recurring. Come follow up time, I would get incredibly irritable. That's how the "scanxiety" manifested itself. In both situations, I sought one on one therapy, used meds to help get my feet back under me and all is good. I know first hand that therapy and meds if needed along with a lot of hard work can be very beneficial to healing both physically and mentally. And to repeat... a positive attitude is more than 50% of the battle.

As far as acceptance? I've always been more a realist than anything else. Having experienced these things in my life and being in my late 50's, I know my time is limited realistically. It's all good :) I truly try to live my life according to the wise words of King Solomon in my signature :)

Positive thoughts

[Pansy]

Fishmanpa - I am truly humbled by the fact you have real physical issues to deal with, yet you are able to encourage and support people on this board. I will try to remember your positive thoughts, thank you.

Elisemarie123 - I have made lists of food, exercise etc, which I will pin up to make sure I follow my new regime. It's a start :yesyes:
Please feel free to contact me if you need to.

You have no idea how much better I feel after talking on this forum, thank you all.

---------- Post added at 09:10 ---------- Previous post was at 09:07 ----------

Sorry Elysemarie123, I tried to edit my post to correct your name but couldn't. Apologies.

[elysemarie123]

Fishmanpa - I am truly humbled by the fact you have real physical issues to deal with, yet you are able to encourage and support people on this board. I will try to remember your positive thoughts, thank you.

Elisemarie123 - I have made lists of food, exercise etc, which I will pin up to make sure I follow my new regime. It's a start :yesyes:
Please feel free to contact me if you need to.

You have no idea how much better I feel after talking on this forum, thank you all.

---------- Post added at 09:10 ---------- Previous post was at 09:07 ----------

Sorry Elysemarie123, I tried to edit my post to correct your name but couldn't. Apologies.


Thank you Pansy and Fishman! You have helped me as well. Even if we are suffering, at least we are not alone. Fishman -- I am going to try to adapt your mindset -- thanks for helping all of us all the time!! And Pansy -- I have put some affirmations around my bathroom mirror to help me through. Thanks for the inspiration! I am here too if you ever need some advice!!

For all those other folks out there who are afraid of the flu -- if you get it, you will get over it. I've had it, and am moving on (except for the fact that I lost my voice so I sound a lot sicker than I am). Take it as a challenge -- show that flu bug that you can take it and it won't get you down.

Happy New Year everyone!

[lior]

Elysemarie123 - I got flu in Sept 2016 and I never recovered - I have ME/CFS, a chronic energy problem, which is a rare condition. While it's crappy and has impacted my life a lot, I just deal with it because I have to. Whatever life throws at you, you will find a way.

Horrible things have happened to me. My worst fears have come true repeatedly. But it's never as bad as I think it will be. The anticipation is much worse than reality.

Fishmanpa - I love hearing about your experience of death. I really hope there isn't life after death. Lights off isn't too bad in my opinion either - yes, the suffering, the pain is the bad bit. I've almost died a few times through asthma attacks and because of my mental health. I feel like I've been given a 3rd/4th chance (not sure if I want to count exactly which chance I'm on) at living. Even if I'm seriously ill, I'm still alive, and I give every day my best shot.

[toddsmum]

Fishmanpa, I am in awe of your courage and acceptance.