GOING out with friends

[Patrick95]

Hi,
I'm just looking for some advice in terms of social anxiety holding you back from going out with friends (e.g. To the disco)
I have a good few close friends and many people are so nice to me but I always feel like I'm being judged, looked at, not fitting in etc. In fairness this used to be worse as I literally used to try on EVERYTHING before going out and then breaking out in a hot sweat upon doing so. However, no a days I sometimes take the easy root and say I can't go. It's not that I dont want to go it's almost that I fear about what will happen if I do go (the wrong things).
At times I do feel that my friends and family think I'm "odd" "awkward" "shy" because I don't want to go out -even when I do just want to stay in- but it's really upsetting me, I don't want them to think this. I wang to be able to go out with friends, be spontaneous and enjoy myself.
Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? Any tips on how to improve oneself?
Thank you, patrick95

[40127253]

I feel the exact same way but I think the most important thing is to always remember that avoidant behaviour (ie saying no to invitations) will only reinforce these negative thoughts about yourself so try and go to social events and put a mental block up against the “what if” thoughts or against the negative thoughts about yourself. Try and visualise yourself as the confident version of yourself . Also you say you think your family or friends think you are odd or awkward but 1) this might not necessarily be true it’s just a speculation and things always seem more extreme inside our own heads when really we are acting within the boundaries of what is normal and acceptable, or 2) if we are both a bit awkward or odd is that really a bad thing? If everyone in the world had similar personalities similar levels of confidence things would be a lot more dull, as cliche as it sounds everyone is unique in their own way and you have friends so they appreciate you for who you are already. Do the social things even if you don’t want to at the time and you will continue to improve :-) good luck


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk