Flight anxiety / Panic

[stuntman_mike]

Hi all,
This is my first post here and it's this issue that has led me here so I hope this is the right place to discuss this.
I'll cut to the chase, next Saturday I fly on holiday for a week. When I was a kid, right up to my mid teens, I had no problem with flying at all. I used to love airports, I've always had a secret interest in venues like airports and stadiums and how they are designed, built and run. I had no issues with flying, only problem I ever had was that I got travel sick as a child but that was in a car, boat, train, coach or plane. I used to wear those little grey travel sickness bands that go around your wrist and nine times out of ten they worked. Either I cured it or I grew out of it as I haven't been sick traveling since I was a teenager and I'm now 30.
But something did happen when I was mid teens and that was something snapped and I developed a dominanting fear of flying. I've always been afraid of heights but it never stopped me when I was younger and I've been up high since the fear of flying kicked in but there's something different about a plane and height isn't the only issue. The lack of control can petrify me, as does the inability to escape. If I'm anxious about something else I walk from one room to the next, or sometimes go outside, and it calms me down. On a plane you obviously can't do that. Speed terrifies me too and the feeling of dropping makes me feel disconnected from my body. I went on a family holiday just shy of a decade ago and both flights were very difficult, I was constantly sweating, twitching with nerves, my mind kept drifting back to how high we were and with no escape and I suffered what I'm confident were frequent moderate panic attacks but hid them well from other passengers for fear of embarrassment but my family will tell you, I didn't hide them that well. Taking off was awful, the shape you feel the aircraft becomes feels so unnatural to me, landing was slightly better but I think that's because the adrenaline kicked in and I knew it was nearly over. The best feeling by a country mile was coming back in to Bristol and seeing the tops of the smaller trees that are cluttered around the runway, my mind was like we can touch the ground virtually from here and suddenly I felt fine.
I haven't flown since. I wouldn't say I've avoided it, but I would say there have been chances and I've not confronted them because of it. Next week I go away with my girlfriend and I want this to not dominate me. I thought it was doing pretty well in the lead up and not thinking about it but last few weeks it's interrupted my sleep, it's always there and I know as this week starts to go by I'm going to be very scared and most of all I want to beat this or at least work with it. I want to go around the world, I'm lucky that I can afford it, I lived in America and I want to go back.
Interestingly my grandad on my mums side who passed away before I was born suffered this, and for very similar reasons. He hated the unnaturalness of fast travelling, they couldn't even get him on a motorway. People have told me his reasons and experiences of flying and they are bang on same as mine. I'm not sure of this form of anxiety, or any, is possibly genetic but in some ways it is reassuring.
Anyway I'm going to the docs on Tuesday to talk about with him and see what he thinks. I work in pharmaceuticals so I know the range of calming script meds that he could prescribe but I also know as a first time case for him he may not want too at this stage and there would be limited time prior to the flight for me to test these and diazepam for example can make people so drowsy they appear very drunk, which can lead to rejection from flights. This flight is also four hours.
What I'm here for is any other advice anyone can offer me? Has anyone experienced this or similar? What do you take, use, plan to help counter it? I'll take any recommendation for over the counter lines but I tried Kalms last time and they are designed for mild anxities, they take the edge off leading up to flight but not I'm flight.
Appreciate everyone's help and happy new year to you all.

[Bigboyuk]

Hi Stuntman_mike you could try Rescue Remedy you can get from Holland & Barrat's there are several ones to choose from eg one for a good nights sleep another for anxiety etc all are natural and safe to use either 5 drops on your tongue or the same in glass of water 30 mins before the event (it's more potent that way!) extremely effective too and use it on my dog who hates fire works HTH ATB :)

[stuntman_mike]

Thanks. Yeah Rescue Remedy is one that I've seen about but I've always been in the mindset that OTC lines are not that strong and therefore don't have the desired effect, unless it's very mild, but depending on how the docs goes I will definitely check it out.

[Bigboyuk]

Well yeah I would give it ago you cant over dose on it either and it worked for my staffy bull terrier dog :) years and years ago before I started to give her RR she was trying to dig in to the next room :eek: now she is much calmer since I have used RR :) ATB

[stuntman_mike]

So I went to see the docs today. He was very helpful in terms of advice and reassuring and suggested long term Iook at flying courses or hypnotherapy. Courses I don't think will help as it's not a dominant fear of aviation, more physiologically crashing which can be brought on by a number of different things during the journey. He didn't want to prescribe anything as he said airlines aren't being fan due to the drowsiness effect and I understand this so I've gone for the recommendation of rescue remedy here. I've also seen lots of other comments suggesting it's really good, also as it's less than a 30ml bottle I'll be able to take it in a clear bag through customs if I explain what it is. Any other suggestions for OTC lines still welcome, I can cross use rescue remedy with other meds so I'm open to all ideas for this flight and then I will tackle hypnotherapy when I return?

[Confetti]

I could give you endless sermons on everything to do with plane crashes as they are something I've studied ever since I was a young child but I'm not going to do that, I will say to you, the chances of being in a crash are like winning the lottery and being struck by lightning at the same time, it's extremely safe, things happen unfortunately it's unavoidable but flying, the odds are so tiny that something bad will go wrong, it's there but it's literally not even a speck of dust in an attic sized chance.

[Mummygems]

Hi. How did you get on with your flight? I have the exact same fear but have crazily booked a holiday of a lifetime with my kids to Canada. We go in four weeks and now my anxiety symptoms are kicking off big time as the date gets nearer. I have used Rescue Remedy in the past for short flights and seemed to help. I last flew 3 years ago. I’ve had the opportunity over the past 2 years to fly to Oman and Ireland with my husband for work events but I had to pull out at the last minute as I couldn’t bare to leave my kids at home in case the plane went down and they were orphaned!! I think at the moment my fear is having a panic attack on the plane in front of my kids. Just wondered what you used to help you cope in the end.

[Scooter86]

I’m in the same boat (or plane perhaps?) as you all. I’m super good at being anxious about all things. And I think stuntman mike hit the nail on the head when he said it’s our inability to escape that causes us the majority of the anxiety. For me personally when I fly I hate when the plane makes sudden shifts and you get that feeling of your heart lurching in your chest or your brain isn’t as quick as your body so it feels weird when it happens. Anyway, after something like that happens I always worry...or what if I have heart palpitations or I faint. Its always the “what if’s” isn’t it?

Ultimately it all comes down to being with your anxiety. Being present and in the moment and recognizing that if you have a panic attack while in the air, nothing bad will happen. Stuntman even mentioned the last time he flew he had multiple moderate panic attacks and he made it just fine. As with everything in life, there are risks. But it’s more likely you get in a car accident than a plane crash.

I would recommend trying to get into a routine of deep breathing a few times a day for a few weeks prior to flying. Then when you’re in the airport download some mindfulness meditation tracks and follow along prior to boarding. One thing that my doctor told me once when you’re sitting down if you can’t get up is to alternate squeezing one leg on the thigh and then the other. It has something to do with activating a part of your brain that distracts you from the panic and the rhythmic sensation helps to calm you.

Also you could do the benson technique which is to start with your feet and slowly movie up your body, tensing every muscle and then letting them relax after about 20 seconds. For the full instruction look on google but it is something you can do while sitting as well. Finally, one reason we feel we need to escape when having a panic attack is because we feel embarrassed people will notice us struggling but there is nothing to be embarrassed about - it’s a part of who we are. When I feel like I’m being judged for my panic I try and flip my thought process and ask myself what I would feel if I saw someone else panicking. I know I would feel for them and, if I couldn’t help them in any way, I would wish them a swift recovery. If someone acts negatively towards your anxiety that’s their issue and not yours. They clearly ha e some problems to work out, but you being anxious and panicky is nothing to be ashamed of.

A couple more things about flying too - someone told me that turbulence is like waves against a boat - it actually has no damaging effect for a plane - it’s just wind pushing against the plane. Second, and this one really helps me sometimes when I’m nervous about flying, the pilot doesn’t want the plane to crash either and he/she knows a heck lot more about flying than I do. Even if I did want to help, I know know jack about flying - so it’s better that I just sit back and let the pilot and their team get us safely where we are going.

Ultimately, flying is still scary for me - in fact the reason I’m writing this is because I’m going on a plane this weekend and I wanted some reassurance from on here. But I already know all the tips and tricks of dealing with my anxiety and I think I just needed to write them out to see them. Yes it’s scary, but for us anxious people, it’s all about not letting the “what if’s” take over.

I hope you all have fun trips and don’t let your anxiety rule your travel plans :)

[Nerdling2]

How did your flight end up going stuntman?

I could have literally written your post. My flight is in August, I've avoided flying for 4 years now and my phobia is worse than it's ever been - I'm unsure whether that in itself has made my GAD worse or vice versa.

Even now 2.5 months before we go, I am being plagued by intrusive thoughts about plane disasters and the noise and alienness of flying. Even when I try very hard to distract myself and block it out, those thoughts come to me suddenly and are totally all encompassing. They are especially bad at night and first thing in the morning.

I had a session of hypnotherapy which did seem surprisingly helpful so I have a few more booked before we go. I would give anything to be rid of this phobia, above all my other phobias.

[Limeslime]

Try this online fear offlying course (its free), developed by a pilot! It honestly helped me! You’ll need to set aside about three hours and work through each category in the “lessons” section. But it honestly changed my life! I plan on doing this with my 13yo daughter in a few weeks too!

Www.fearofflyinghelp.com

[Boosh]

How did your flight end up going stuntman?

I could have literally written your post. My flight is in August, I've avoided flying for 4 years now and my phobia is worse than it's ever been - I'm unsure whether that in itself has made my GAD worse or vice versa.

Even now 2.5 months before we go, I am being plagued by intrusive thoughts about plane disasters and the noise and alienness of flying. Even when I try very hard to distract myself and block it out, those thoughts come to me suddenly and are totally all encompassing. They are especially bad at night and first thing in the morning.

I had a session of hypnotherapy which did seem surprisingly helpful so I have a few more booked before we go. I would give anything to be rid of this phobia, above all my other phobias.

I'm sorry you feel that way, I know I would be petrified if I had to fly in a month or two. It's one of many of my phobias, but I hate this one in particular, because I absolutely love to travel, but hate flying. And I know I'll end up in another plane sooner or later, and it scares me even now, when it's not even decided when.

In Europe I manage to drive a car, but it's so exhausting sometimes. I was meeting my friends in Glasgow few months ago. They took a plane from Warsaw and 2.5h hours later were in Scotland. I was driving for almost 4 days without a stop, spent terrible amount of money on gas and hotels, and the whole trip felt like chore, not vacation.
And I'm doing this again in two month by driving to Albany :doh:

I can't really help you with your fear, as clearly I also need help, but sometimes I just have to take a plane when going outside of Europe and here's how I sort of manage:

- I hate taking off, I hate the sudden speed, noise, the weird stomach feeling and seeing the world getting smaller and smaller below me. So instead of focusing on all those things around me, I close my eyes, cover my ears, and tell myself to count to 500. Then I'll allow myself to panic, not a second sooner. Sometimes during the countdown I feel sudden rush of panic, but I don't let it take over, just remind myself "hey, hey, 237, 238, remember, count to 500 first, 239". When I'm at 500 the flight attendants usually are already distributing drinks, the window blinds are shut (I ask the person travelling with me to do this for me), and I can't feel the speed anymore or feeling of rising up, the noise is also better because the engines are not working at their full anymore, so I can pretend I'm in a weirdly shaped car/coach.

- During the countdown, I hold the hand of a person I travel with, and I tell her I'll squize it if I feel something is wrong, and I ask him/her to squize it back if everything's fine. Sometimes I just KNOW we are falling down, and if I look out of the window myself I'll start panicking beause of the heights, so this little reassurance from someone watching our flight and letting me know "it's ok, everything as usual" is really helpful.

- That's not very wise perhaps, but I always order alcohol on a plane. Two glasses of wine later I'm relaxed and once I even managed to be content!

- Distracting yourself is the key for me, so do everything you can to stop thinking about what's going on. Read a book, watch a movie, go to sleep.

- Sometimes I feel we are falling when there's nothing wrong with the plane... I hate this feeling. So I figured I can use gps to track our height and position (I've checked, it's safe for the plane). Now I know we're going in the right direction (no one hijacked the plane so far!), and that we're at constant height, and not, as I imagined, just dropped 0.5km.

Let us know how was your flight in August and have a great time :)