JooneBug37
31-12-17, 22:38
Hi. Let me introduce myself. I am a teenager who has both OCD and Sexual Sadism Disorder. Sexual Sadism Disorder is when I get aroused by the pain of someone I find attractive. Today I woke up feeling tired and cranky (I slept late yesterday). I had been worrying about if I was a misogynist or not (being aroused by the pain of attractive women made me feel guilty). Today I met a pregnant woman and talked with her. While talking, I suddenly had a thought about harming her (I won’t go into detail, but it was pretty violent). I felt very guilty. The worst part was that I think I actually felt pleasure from the thought. I dislike babies and like violent things, but that does not excuse the thought I had or the pleasure I felt. It had nothing to do with Sexual Sadism because I didn’t consider the woman attractive (no offense to her). I kept feeling guilty, especially after I asked myself if there were no rules, would you do it? My feelings seemed to have answered the question: yes. I kept wondering if this was because I was a misogynist. I felt so anxious, I lost my appetite. I came here to ask for help.