View Full Version : Question to All....
This may sound a bit forward or a bit harsh but i've been reading loads of posts on here and i have to ask this...
For all of you that suffer panic attacks and anxiety, are there any of you that suffer them and can honestly say they are happy with their career and their personal life?
I ask because it seems most of us that suffer from these have somethings in our lives we aren't content or happy with.....and want to know if there are any of you out there that are happy and content with their lives in and are still suffering.....
Thanks
Orangesky
Lindalou64
26-06-07, 21:41
hi orange,
good question,i would have say mostly no im not happy cause i wear a mask like most of us and pretend everything is fine...but there are times i am happy when im feeling ok.lets say ah a good day.......actually it can make me weepy cranky and just plain old miserable...but i try and stay positive,cause i want to be happy and better ya know what im saying........Linda
Im not happy with my career and want to go back to uni but i can't afford it because i have a mortgage and frankly don't want to have to sell my home to fund it.
I have a shit social life because i work split shifts and a few evenings a week and all of my friends work mon-fri 9-5. I also live in THE most boring city in the uk so not much to do to entertain oneself.
Oh, and i find it very hard to make friends (been burnt) so i spend a lot of time thinking im a loser.
I am trying to save for uni but i can't leave my current job because my boss is due to go on maternity leave and i wouldn't want to stress her by making her find someone to cover both her and me. She suffers from panic attacks too. Can't do it to a fellow sufferer.
G'day Orange,
Unlike most I have benefitted from PAs.Four yrs ago was my last MAJOR panic attack.
I still suffer what my Dr calls PAs but I class them as periods of increased anxiety.
What it did for me was give my the chance to re-evaluate my life and change my career. I used to be a low paid factory worker but for the last 3 yrs I've been a successful real estate agent earning more money than I ever dreamed possible. Yes it's a stressful job but I can handle it.
The only downside is ,being on meds , I have next to no sex drive.It actually worries my partner more than me.
All in all it's been a positive thing but I wouldn't want to go through the initial stages again nor would I wish it on my worst enemy.
Phill :shades:
HI Good question
IS anyone totally happy with their lives with or without Anxiety...........
it's only my opinion but i doubt that there is anyone who IS :)
:) hi there orangesky,
my take on this is that it is irrelevant whether your happy or sad as neither state is permanent and also applies to all other members of the world! we cannot escape happiness or sadness, nobodys life is one or other.
the difference with panic prone anxious people is their response to stress, so if you find yourself in a situation that makes you feel less than happy and maybe even downright miserable, the panic prone person will translate this into anxiety and panic.
and it can be a good thing because it may be that the person has to sit up and take notice of their lives and where they are lacking and make changes.for others the anxiety and panic take over the persons life and becomes almost the main focus, this is when you have to really learn about yourself and what exactly is underlying the problem, remember these disorders are emotional and behavioural in nature, they are not illnesses.
hope this makes sense to you
emma:winks:
Really really interesting post :yesyes: .
It funny cos lately Ive been thinking when i wake up in the mornings that something is wrong with my life but I cant put my finger on it :shrug: , then I always come back to the conclusion that its the panic attacks .
But I do worry alot and if I was to be really honest I worry about ,
am I bored with my husband ? yet I really do love him and care for him deeply, hes my soul mate and I couldnt live without him .
Then I feel bored with a friend of mine , she lovely but Once again I cant put my finger on it.
Then my 13 year old son stresses me out alot, Obviously I love him so much and really worry about him cos he has disabilities.
Then I worry about my 9 year old daughter, I worry that she will see what a weak mother I am, I hate her to see me panic so cover it up....
but children pick up on these things dont they.
I feel very dissapointed in my work life (or lack of it)
I feel I cant do the things i want cos of the panic, Id say this is my biggest problem.
I sometimes wonder if us anx people just 'think' too much?
You know, when I am feeling ok, I am fairly happy with my life, I have a husband and kids who love me and I have a reasonably well paid job (that I am not happy with but it is still an ok job)
I think I think myself into discontent. I think there is more for me than I have. I think I am a bad parent. I think I could have a better job. I think I don't love my husband sometimes. I just think all the time.
Maybe we anx people are just clever?:winks: You know, seeking for elusive answers?
happyone
xx
I am not happy with my work or social life. I an not working as i have such severe anxiety and no confidence. There are jobs i would love to do, help in a school maybe, but the thought terrifies me. Every aspect of my life is controlled by anxiety. I feel good for nothing.
The only thing that i feel i have done well in my life is my son. I think i am a good mother and he is the reason i keep going.
Josephinex
Hi Happy
I have to agree with you in that I too think we can dwell too much on our anxiety until it in itself becomes an obsession.
In her "Living with IT" books Bev Aisbett says that we need to accept it rather than fight and I believe she's right.
Phill
I agree with the notion that the more discontent we are, the more likely we are to have anxiety. The trick is to recognise that fact and to take control of your life before you ever have to experience anxiety.
For most of us, however, it's the onset of anxiety and panic that makes you sit up and listen. A physical shot across the bow from your body, saying "Oy wake up and DO something about it!".
So, I listened and took a good look at life and have subsequently changed just about everything in my life - partner, career, home, outlook, attitude, motivations, aspirations - the lot! I can honestly say I've never been happier.
I do not suffer from full-blown anxiety or panic any more but if I push things too much, or take too much on, I get a little physical warning. So, I heed the warning and back off a little. I'm in control and I recognise my current limitations as I still class myself as in recovery.
The one thing that anxiety did was to put the chips firmly on the table and actually FORCE me to choose between it and living a different way - things couldn't get any worse, so I have nothing to lose, right? That's what made me brave enough to take a different path.
If you change nothing, nothing will change.
Eeb x
I am happy with my life, of course we all wish we were better at things or had better things, but i just cant seem to shift the negative thoughts - i always think something is going to go wrong "why should i be this happy" and then the what ifs come in, the anxiety is the only thing that makes me unhappy, my mum says i have always been a bit "weird" so i think i was just a born worrier - if i wasnt so negative i would be the luckiest girl in the world. in fact i have always said that if i won the lottery then that would just be way to lucky and then i would get more negative thoughts because of this, does this make sense? probably not but i never have or do usually!!!
Yeah, i too have a habit of thinking too much of the bad things....im burning nuerological pathways which set these thought processes to default. Im a total fantasist. I get upset about things i think could happen, or things i thing people are saying when in reality none of these 'worries' exist.
MissChampers
29-06-07, 10:54
I am not happy with my work or social life. I an not working as i have such severe anxiety and no confidence. There are jobs i would love to do, help in a school maybe, but the thought terrifies me. Every aspect of my life is controlled by anxiety. I feel good for nothing.
The only thing that i feel i have done well in my life is my son. I think i am a good mother and he is the reason i keep going.
Josephinex
That is exactly how I feel Josephine! I've just quit my job of 10 years this week because it bored me to tears which I think made my panic worse and now i'm in that vicious cycle because my panic is stopping me get another job. Also both my kids have potentially life threatening illness' so i'm always anxious about them so I can never relax.
I love my job even though I am now part-time and not likely to ever see a promotion again. But one less thing to worry about!
I love my OH, our son, our life. We work at our relationship but I think you have to. I am very lucky. I live in a lovely home in a lovely rural area with a lovely village atmosphere.
My health set me off with attacks. I now hate the fact the attacks have let me limit my life and the once care-free person has gone. Sometimes I see the old me and I miss her. My OH misses the old me too but he reckons the old me is there much more than I see,
i'm the oppostite of what most people have posted here, i'm always more anxious when i'm happy with my life. I suppose when there's nothing going wrong i'm anxious because i'm waiting for something bad to happen.
before i started citopram i was starting to believe i'd have to chose whether i wanted to be panicy or depressed because i thought i'd always be one or he other.
In her books bev Aisbett says to just accept when things are good.
I personally went through a stage when I used to worry about why I felt good but as the number of good days increased it subsided and finally disappeared
Phill :shades:
I agree with a lot of what has been said, especially that no one person is one hundred per cent happy with their life, whether they have an anxiety disorder or not.
I am not happy with most aspects of my life. I have little money, don't work due to panic disorder being so bad, I don't have a boyfriend/partner and I don't have any friends to socialise with. I live alone, though my house is nice and I feel guilty for not being happy with it. It is just that I crave companionship. My parents are elderly and I worry about the time when I will have to cope with their passing.
I have a very good sister who would do anything for me and I have a really sweet sister in law as well. However I still feel very, very lonely. I have had ten years of living on my own and I am sick of it.
Some people that don't know me too well think I have a 'charmed' life because I have a house, car and don't work - well they can have my 'charmed' life with bells on!
On the other hand I know people who have a partner and a friends and money and they are miserable.
So does external problems cause panic and anxiety disorders? No, I don't think so, but it does probably add to the strain of life and deplete your defences.
Eibhlin
Hey!
No, I am not happy with my social life. I am trying to change that now,but 4 years ago when it all started I felt like all I had in life were my panic attacks.
xxxxx Ana
That is an interesting question. I think earlier posts touch on something here in that happiness is very subjective, you can have a very good job and great family but you are still sad. In other words if you got another person and put them in your shoes they would be happy, but you are not, and of course you could walk in other's shoes and be happy and yet they are not etc... its very subjective.
I personally feel that I go through life like with a kind of 'depression burqua' on, that everything I see or do or experience is seen through this grill of my depression burqua. :wtf1:
I tend to see the very worst side of everything, feel trapped in my life (that on the front of it looks enviable to many) good job in media, healthy young son, a nice house and car etc..
But at the moment my husband is undergoing training and this means his wages have dropped low and so I have to help out more with bills, so I have more debts than ever before, but then thats my fault for wanting a better life.
I dont really have any friends as I work all day, look after my son at night and dont have anyone living near me to socialise with? We have no money (due to my husband training and the buying of this house) so have no holidays, no spare money for anything we dont need etc.. that gets me down. But I am aware there are those far worse off than me, and so I feel guilty for moaning. I wish I could be happy, but maybe thats not to be?:doh:
Pink Princess
12-07-07, 13:10
hey good question, although i may not be completely happy with how things are just now even on a good day i can still panic over nothing out of the blue :shrug:
and my first panic attack was when i was 7 when really....you just at that age where you are happy over everything.
you have me thinking now...:huh:
xxx minnie xxx
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