cactuarjon
04-01-18, 13:54
As the title says. Sudden realisation today that most of my problems and issues revolve around this. I want to do too much. I get excited, strange boosts of energy/productivity/motivation/inspiration (all at once) and I'm all "I'm going to do this! And I'm going to do that!" and everything looks marvellous in my head - a wonderful creative project or a nice clean, organised home or a new hobby I want to get into. (More often than not all of these plus many more all at once). It's like the second my brain becomes motivated, it's constantly buzzing and coming up with idea after idea without a break, without knowing when to stop, and nothing is related, it's all a different project all after one another before giving myself any time to focus on just one thing. It's not filtering things properly.
And then 15mins later and I realise I don't have the money to be able to get the tools I need, I don't have a certain skill set for a particular activity and I most certainly don't have the time!
And then all that wonderful positive energy is just... gone. I feel bummed. And the negative thoughts come back and settle in right where they belong, like the ass groove you've made yourself in your favourite chair. And my main priority at that moment is to do nothing! I honestly think that all the idea's and everything that float around in my head just cause so much overwhelm that I become exhausted before I have even done anything!
Yes, I have tried to-do lists. I've tried planning things out. I've tried budgeting. To-do lists just get put into a random note-book and then lost between the pages and completely forgotten about. The same goes with planning things out. Budgeting never works because 15mins later i've completely forgotten whatever project I wanted to focus on (and i mean literally, whoomp - gone out my head) and I then make some ridiculous impulsive purchase that I don't need that I will regret within an hour but made completely subconsciously. I have no self-control and no discipline. I don't know how to stop myself from doing things and I don't know how to productively motivate myself where it matters.
I know nothing, Jon Snow.
I wish I was able to function my brain at a normal capacity. Maintain a focus in one direction, not 20 all at once.
And then 15mins later and I realise I don't have the money to be able to get the tools I need, I don't have a certain skill set for a particular activity and I most certainly don't have the time!
And then all that wonderful positive energy is just... gone. I feel bummed. And the negative thoughts come back and settle in right where they belong, like the ass groove you've made yourself in your favourite chair. And my main priority at that moment is to do nothing! I honestly think that all the idea's and everything that float around in my head just cause so much overwhelm that I become exhausted before I have even done anything!
Yes, I have tried to-do lists. I've tried planning things out. I've tried budgeting. To-do lists just get put into a random note-book and then lost between the pages and completely forgotten about. The same goes with planning things out. Budgeting never works because 15mins later i've completely forgotten whatever project I wanted to focus on (and i mean literally, whoomp - gone out my head) and I then make some ridiculous impulsive purchase that I don't need that I will regret within an hour but made completely subconsciously. I have no self-control and no discipline. I don't know how to stop myself from doing things and I don't know how to productively motivate myself where it matters.
I know nothing, Jon Snow.
I wish I was able to function my brain at a normal capacity. Maintain a focus in one direction, not 20 all at once.