bingjam
04-01-18, 14:22
Hi all.
This actually isn’t a post about health anxiety or something that regards me really.
My mum is a really bad alcoholic. She’s been this way for 20+ years but For the past few years it’s gotten so much worse where she’s drinking as soon as she gets up all through the day and all night until she sleeps.
She started having seizures and gets admitted into hospital regularly and I can’t cope with it. I can’t cope that I have to go up the hospital where my panic attacks are at the worst.
She had korsakoff syndrome and since before Christmas is has gotten progressively worse. She is incontinent both urine and stool and she was rushed back in the hospital yesterday as they picked up something wrong with her heart and her blood pressure.
I went up this morning and the hospital is that busy that she is still sitting in a corridor in the a&e along with about 5 corridors full of trolly beds as they are that busy.
I hate That she’s so selfish and is drinking herself to death and not thInking about me and my 2 children. I hate that they are going to grow up without A nana because she’s too selfish and chooses alcohol over anything. I’m just so fed up and scared that she’s going to die. Which I know she probably doesn’t have much time left. She doesn’t eat hasn’t eaten anything for over a week. She just rather sit and drink herself to death. She looks frail and about 20 years older than she is and when she was lying There I saw how yellow her skin and eyes were.
Being at the hospital i just kept having mini panic attacks as I was surrounded in a corridor full of poorly people and felt trapped. I stayed with her for about 40 minutes and just had to leave. I just wish she wasn’t a alcoholic cause this is for sure the stem of my panic attacks and anxiety and it sucks
Now I feel guilty what if that’s the last time I see her. I should have stayed longer but I couldn’t. I’m so tired of this anxiety stopping me doing what I need to do
Sorry I just needed to vent somewhere and have someone to talk to
This actually isn’t a post about health anxiety or something that regards me really.
My mum is a really bad alcoholic. She’s been this way for 20+ years but For the past few years it’s gotten so much worse where she’s drinking as soon as she gets up all through the day and all night until she sleeps.
She started having seizures and gets admitted into hospital regularly and I can’t cope with it. I can’t cope that I have to go up the hospital where my panic attacks are at the worst.
She had korsakoff syndrome and since before Christmas is has gotten progressively worse. She is incontinent both urine and stool and she was rushed back in the hospital yesterday as they picked up something wrong with her heart and her blood pressure.
I went up this morning and the hospital is that busy that she is still sitting in a corridor in the a&e along with about 5 corridors full of trolly beds as they are that busy.
I hate That she’s so selfish and is drinking herself to death and not thInking about me and my 2 children. I hate that they are going to grow up without A nana because she’s too selfish and chooses alcohol over anything. I’m just so fed up and scared that she’s going to die. Which I know she probably doesn’t have much time left. She doesn’t eat hasn’t eaten anything for over a week. She just rather sit and drink herself to death. She looks frail and about 20 years older than she is and when she was lying There I saw how yellow her skin and eyes were.
Being at the hospital i just kept having mini panic attacks as I was surrounded in a corridor full of poorly people and felt trapped. I stayed with her for about 40 minutes and just had to leave. I just wish she wasn’t a alcoholic cause this is for sure the stem of my panic attacks and anxiety and it sucks
Now I feel guilty what if that’s the last time I see her. I should have stayed longer but I couldn’t. I’m so tired of this anxiety stopping me doing what I need to do
Sorry I just needed to vent somewhere and have someone to talk to