Nightmare coming to life. Lymphoma .this cant be happening... HELP

[anxietysmymiddlename]

Hi guys, I am super depressed and scared SEVERELY that I have a cancerous lymph node it my neck...

It's right near my right jugular vein. It's a large size bulge and I have been endlessly prodding it and that's obviously making it worse I know...

But this is literally the most real health scare I have ever had. It feels almost like a reality and all I can literally think about it is when I die i am gonna lose everyone I love and frankly I can't accept it because I am only 18 years old and I don't want my life to end this way...

I fought and fought anxiety of moving forward in life and i succeeded I am just about to start a new job and start off my adulthood a Now I don't feel like I have this chance anymore. I am constantly thinking about it. I know it's there I can feel it and im freaking out knowing this a real life thing im facing.

I am trying so hard to get to the doctors but I need to wait for my insurance card to come in first. which should hopefully be coming anyday.

But this feeling I have. I literally can't enjoy anything anymore i feel like my life's going to end soon so strongly. I'm thinking about how death couldn't be to bad but it still destroys me.

Please. Please if anybody has anything they could tell me to help me calm down. Or any sorta of reassurance. I would greatly appreciate it. Anything helps.... Please..

[Fishmanpa]

Just to be clear... a doctor has examined you, ordered a CT, ended up doing a FNAB, possibly a PET scan and you've been diagnosed?

Positive thoughts

[lofwyr]

Well, I can tell you one thing, nothing you said there actually points in any way to lymphoma. It all points to a swollen gland, and anxiety and depression. Most of us have been where you are, some of us have found our way out.

Fishmanpa of this sight has given me so much insight and wisdom with fear of the unknown and potential dangers, that when I actually *was* diagnosed with something serious, I used his words.

His quote was "it isn't cancer until it is cancer" or something close to that. Don't hold me to it. The point is, it is a problem only when someone tells you it is. A swollen gland you have poked and prodded really only points to a minor infection and obsessive poking and prodding.

I know someone who died from lymphoma, and she didn't even have swollen glands of any kind.

I am not saying do not go to the doctor--you should--but you should also get help with the problem you know you have. Anxiety.

---------- Post added at 00:48 ---------- Previous post was at 00:47 ----------


Just to be clear... a doctor has examined you, ordered a CT, ended up doing a FNAB, possibly a PET scan and you've been diagnosed?

Positive thoughts

lol he beat me to it. Listen to this guy. Seriously.

[Careful1]

"It isn't cancer until a pathology report says it is".... Fish I think I know who you are :hugs:

[Fishmanpa]

"It isn't cancer until a pathology report says it is".... Fish I think I know who you are :hugs:

Really? :) Hmmm.....

Positive thoughts

[anxietysmymiddlename]

Thank you everyone... What you guys are saying is 100% right and I appreciate the prompt replies.. like really so much. I know I can't say I have what it is but I only fear what it could be.
When I go to the doctors I will definitely address my anxiety as well.
Again thank you guys so much your thoughts and words really do help :)