When anxiety becomes too much

[Invalesco]

Apologies in advance for the ridiculous amount of pity I have for myself right now.

Just a question. I know panic attacks and anxiety gets us all down but does anyone else get the feeling of wanting to just give up? The idea of never feeling this pain, lack of control and this disgusting pity for myself again just seems so comforting. This feeling is only fleeting but is new to me and I’m worried that it means my anxiety is once again worsening which in turn just makes me feel more despair.

I’ve done three or four sessions of CBT and it hasn’t worked. I’m not on medication because taking medicine is one of my anxieties, I physically can’t do it. I feel like there are no other options for me and I’ll be stuck in this circle till I seriously crack.

[ankietyjoe]

I’ve done three or four sessions of CBT and it hasn’t worked.

It'll probably take 10-20 sessions to work, with persistence and practice from yourself once the sessions are over too.

If it helps. I've beaten 99% of my anxiety without medication.

[Invalesco]

Sorry I meant I have been through CBT three or four times not just three or four individual appointments

[ankietyjoe]

Do you mean it didn't work at all, or didn't stop the anxiety coming back?

[Invalesco]

It helped in the sense I can now tell myself rationally that it’s just panic but I still have attacks, they haven’t gone away nor got less intense (some are more intense than any I’ve ever had)
I haven’t stopped going out, to work etc I stare it straight in the face and refuse to let it beat me usually but with each attack more frequent I feel I’m losing my grip on it if that makes sense.

[ankietyjoe]

It helped in the sense I can now tell myself rationally that it’s just panic but I still have attacks, they haven’t gone away nor got less intense (some are more intense than any I’ve ever had)
I haven’t stopped going out, to work etc I stare it straight in the face and refuse to let it beat me usually but with each attack more frequent I feel I’m losing my grip on it if that makes sense.

It makes perfect sense, and you're describing experiences I've had myself. I edited my first post but I'm not sure if you saw it. I decided not to use medication either, and even though my panic attacks were horrendous at times, I pretty much did what you're doing now.

The key I found, was acceptance. That might sound flippant and impossible, but it's not. You can't actually stop panic attacks happening, it's not possible. What you can control, is your reaction to them. It's advice I've always tried to give here and a lot of people dispute it, but you can. It takes practice though.

Anxiety is a little bit like becoming overweight. There are usually several factors that got you where you are now, but ultimately it's something that happened over time. It's not something that you can fix overnight, it take effort for months.

The mistake I made over and over again was catastrophising each and every panic attack I had. Each time it was 'oh shit oh shit oh shit' etc. 'I can't take this any more' etc. Well the thing is, I could take it, because I had no choice. I also learned that despite how crap you feel, it always passes, and does no real harm. It took me a while, but eventually I just learned to shrug my shoulders, keep breathing normally, destract myself with my phone (volume down, pretend to talk to somebody, repeat mantras to myself etc etc). I used that one a lot in the supermarket :D, still do sometimes!

My instinct was always that it wasn't something I was just going to accept, because that was like giving in, but it's not. All you're doing is saying 'this is ok for now'. You're teaching your brain that it doesn't have to fire adrenaline into your system when it feels anxiety coming on, because that's the real feedback loop.

[Senior Moment]

I agree with everything Anxietyjoe has just posted. It is true that acceptance is the only way forward however hard it is, It does become easier the more you put it into practice tho. I am not on medication either mainly cos of side effects made my anxiety worse and also bought on depression which I didn't suffer with. I have also done CBT course but I found the CBT4panic and Anxietynomore websites far more helpful. Give them a go, it may help you. Its a long haul, a marathon not a sprint, as the saying goes !!

[ankietyjoe]

Back to the diet analogy.

Fighting anxiety is like fighting hunger. If you want to lose weight, you ARE going to be hungry on a diet. You're altering eating habits. You either accept that, or you fight it and follow a faddy diet plan that are designed to pander to your need to eat, not to change your eating habits.

It's the same with anxiety. Panic is a basic human function, that's become exaggerated in those that suffer with anxiety. Trying to stop it is just going to bring focus to it. If you can learn down to sit down and accept it (as we ALL suffer panic at some point), then it stops becoming a problem.

[Invalesco]

Hi

Big thanks to both of you who replied. It all makes sense everything that what said, I think after six-seven years it is such a lonely affliction I just needed to vent. I’ll continue to stare it down and accept the feelings and hopefully they will begin to subside if nothing else.

I hadn’t noticed your edit AnxietyJoe...it’s hopeful to hear someone has got their anxiety under control without medication. It seems to be given out like candy from the doctors but it’s just not an option for myself personally. Plus I don’t want to ‘control’ it with meds, I want to kick its ass in to next week!