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08-01-18, 03:57
I'm an 18 student and I've never had proper ''sex'' (with penetration) but I've done some sort of foreplay with a guy I was dating (dry humping with me naked, oral sex, mutual masturbation etc). I know that since there's never been semen entering my vagina or near it it's impossible that I'm pregnant but I guess I just convinced myself I am and I can't stop thinking about it. It's driving me insane. It all started around November 18th after we masturbated, because the following days I started feeling breast soreness, I freaked out looking for symptoms on internet until the 27th when my period came. So, the boob pain was just PMS, the weird thing is that I've never had that kind of pms symptom before, only cramps. My period was heavy as usual and lasted around a week so everything was ok. Then we did the dry humping on December 6th and that's when my real nightmare started. Around the 10th I started feeling the boob soreness again and I try to ignore it because I know it could be due to pms as the last time but I couldn't. And the pain increased as did my breasts and even areolas which REALLY freaked me out, I even started having headaches and nausea and was looking for any other symptom that could confirm it. We even broke up because of this because I was in such a bad mood all the time (I didn't tell him tho, we're ok now as friends), and the breakup brought me more stress, thoughts on being a single mom ran trought my mind. I couldn't tell anyone because or either they think I was nuts or that I was lying on being a virgin and that's why I was so freaked out. Of course I couldn't tell my mom since she'd yelled at me a while before ''IF YOU GET PREGNANT I'LL DIE'', she can be very impulsive sometimes. So, I was at this roaller coaster of emotions and stress until the 21st when my period came again. The pain went again so I was extremely relieved BUT, my period was kind of weird because even when it was as heavy as usual it only lasted 4 days and there was a lot of discharge before and after, also the day it finished the breast soreness came back right away which freaked me out again. The pain has been almost unbreareable at some points this time and I still have it, I even think sometimes that that ''period'' I had was implantation bleeding (even when it had clots and was bright red). I'm still stressed and looking for information on google about symptoms and everything. I've tracked my cm this month and I've seen the egg white cm on January 3rd which means ovulation and now it's kind of dry which means I'm on the luteal phase, but it's so normal it's strange, I mean I've never seen egg white cm before (or maybe it was I wasn't checking), but my point is that I can't stop linking everything my body does with a possible pregnancy. My boobs looks ''pregnant'' they are way bigger that my bras hurt me, the areolas are also bigger and my nipples get randomly hard. I've also gain some weight and in general I feel off. Yesterday I went to get an echography for my boobs to see if there were any lumps or cist that could explain the pain but nothing. Also, I got my uterus seen in the echo and NOTHING, that should help me right? But no, I felt relieved at the moment but then I did some math and if I actually concieved on the 6th it would be to early for nothing to be seen on the echo, so I am as worried as I was before. I don't want to use a PT because I'm really scared of a positive result and at this point I believe that even if I get a negative, I'll think it was a false one and start worrying again. I know that I may sound very calm and that there are many things that say that I'm not pg and than I'm aware of it, but I just can't stop thinking I am, this is beyond me. I'd really aprecciate some advice on how to stop feeling anxious about this and maybe some thoughts on all that I've described, I mean symptoms and stuff. Thank you. : wacko::llorar: