Why can't we get used to the feeling?

[Ditapage]

I've been wondering this. I've had GAD with panic attacks since 2011 and what upsets me the most is I can't get used to them. Each one feels horrible. I know this sounds like a weird thought but I have friends with chronic pain, muscle and nerve, tingling, burning and they still live their lives because "I'm used to it", they say. But I can't get used to the panic symptoms. It's not as easy as "it's fine, I have had this feeling before", each time it's that thought something catastrophic is about to happen. I've had weak legs a hundred thousand times but it doesn't make a difference, the brain doesn't immediately rationalise that it's anxiety, get on with your day. So much of my energy goes into fighting hard against these symptoms than accepting them or getting used to them.

So if we have felt the sensations so often, WHY aren't we used to them? Does anyone know why? Or maybe you HAVE gotten used to it? This baffles me. If people can live with chronic pain, why can't I accept that my symptoms are harmless nervous system reactions?

Not sure I explained this very well but I hope so. Thanks for reading and what are your thoughts? Is it possible to even get used to it?

[ankietyjoe]

Anxiety and panic are directly caused by an overactive fight or flight mechanism. It would be an evolutionary oversight if the mechanism designed to keep you safe, could be gotten used to. It's designed to make you fear for your life.

[pulisa]

I think you can begin to get better when you find you can get used to these feelings and accept them as anxiety symptoms. Boring old anxiety symptoms and not symptoms to be terrified about?

[Ditapage]

ankietyjoe: WOW! That's brilliant. I am going to write that out and carry it with me on a piece of paper because it gives me true understanding and then acceptance of what's going on instead of striving for the impossible to get used to a system that was not about getting accustomed to the feeling but springing to action to avoid danger. Then it becomes about that mind work I always underestimate. Calming the system by rationalising there's no danger. I never really accepted that this battle is in the mind and until I work on that the symptoms aren't going away. Thank you for that explanation- it's truly helpful.


Pulisa: Thankyou. You're correct - it's about accepting them as boring old anxiety symptoms not imminent emergency. Once again, it's all the battle of the mind, which I gotta say, in the midst of the intensity of these symptoms, I lose that battle often.

[fishman65]

I like the issue ankietyjoe has hit on here. Our evolutionary 'fight or flight' mechanism that saved our lives when we were confronting an angry bear or lion is still very much with us. A few centuries of modernity isn't going to change such deep-seated hard wiring. Take a look at domestic dogs which have one common ancestor, the grey wolf. Selective breeding can give us all sorts of different breeds of all sizes, yet dogs roll in substances that stink, a behaviour still in place and inherited from the wolf. It disguised their own scent thus providing cover from larger predators but also their prey. Thousands of years later and the wolf is still there, from chihuahuas to great danes.

Likewise with us. The rigid boundaries of modernity and social expectation corral us into scenarios where we can neither fight nor run for it. Well, the second option is often on the cards from a personal perspective :blush: But beating up the bank manager might land us in trouble.

Sorry Ditapage, I've digressed. No I can't say I've ever got used to a panic attack, even though the first one was 32 years ago. Any panic has the potential to feel like its the very first for me.

[lior]

It's such a good question, you clever bean :)

I have to be anxious for quite some time before it clicks that I'm anxious.

Yesterday I was sick - I know a lot of people are phobic of it. I'm nauseous a lot but it's been ages since I actually threw up, so I was a bit surprised. It's unpleasant to be sick but while it has happened in the past, I noticed the sensations so that I'd be able to know the warning signs for next time. Sort of meditation-y. It BLOODY WELL PAID OFF. Now I know when to run to the loo in time :) and it just feels less distressing. I know the drill now. I know what to do. I know to tie up my hair. It's still very unpleasant in the run up to it, but I soothe myself with 'it's going to be better after you throw up'.

So with panic attacks, can you treat it like meditation-y by listening to the sensations? A bit like a research experiment. And then note it down so you know what to expect for next time, and what might help. Or have you tried that already?

[ankietyjoe]

So with panic attacks, can you treat it like meditation-y by listening to the sensations? A bit like a research experiment. And then note it down so you know what to expect for next time, and what might help. Or have you tried that already?


You don't need to dissect or assess them at all. The best way I've found to deal with panic attacks is to just observe them, without judgement. They're not good, they're not bad, they just are. This is the fundamental basis of meditation. It's not easy though, and does take practice, but it does work. I still experience anxiety sometimes, but I don't really have panic attacks any more. It probably took me five years in total to get there, but I feel that if I'd gone down the medication route I'd still be in the GP's every couple of months trying to get the dosage/variety correct.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think you can begin to get better when you find you can get used to these feelings and accept them as anxiety symptoms. Boring old anxiety symptoms and not symptoms to be terrified about?

Yep, the subconscious has learned that it is expected to act a certain way. Now it needs to learn again.

Fight or flight works to do certain things. We may run away from a bear but we may kill that guy on the battlefield waving an axe at us.

It's a "dial up or dial down" thing. We've learnt too many things things to fear and our dials go up more than are needed and we've reset a higher baseline. The SAS bloke jumping out of the plane to sneak around and kill people has been trained to dial down when needed and have more control.

Extreme example obviously but what Andy McNabb says in one of his books about his experience as an elite. But there is still truth in there for us, the brain learns, the wolf feeds. That's why exposure therapy helps in eliminating fears by teaching the subconscious it's not as big of a deal as we think it is.

So, we can retrain it. But I agree with Joe on this too as I've found learning to observe without attaching anything to it teaches my subconscious I'm not interested in it. It's worked on many of my issues, just not all. Give it the big "meh" and the subconscious learns it's a worthless process and changes. But I do find it harder with physical sensations and some of this is because it's close to those dark days of bad anxiety and others are because they are just physically unpleasant and my subconscious tries to latch onto them.

[Confetti]

Over time my concern for that most unfortunate and invasive turbulence known as the dreaded panic bombardments has diminished, I still recoil from the intense whirling and shuddering sure but it's like a returning nasty patch of weather, I can sometimes defuse and just about catch one cunning storm attempting to creep up over the horizon and infiltrate my blundering brain, sometimes it just comes crashing gleefully on down and soaks my bones in its wretched wrath, I comprehend what the deal is these days and I've gone through it enough times to have a frayed but dependable map to navigate the wreckage and smogs so I'm able to handle it, took a long arduous time, the attacks don't damage me as much but they're not exactly delightful.