Really bad rabies anxiety- bat bite when napping but didn't see or hear one afterward

[maz063]

Hi everyone. I have been struggling with OCD for about 3-4 years and I am on meds and in therapy. They have helped but the thoughts still creep in. I've had obsessions about rabies( specifically with bats" on and off and now it's really getting out of hand and I feel like running straight to the hospital.

So I noticed 2 small scabs on my right arm a little over 1cm apart. I of course started worrying it was a bat bite but I reassured myself that there are no bats at my parent's place and no entry points for it to come in. Then I remembered that I had taken a nap during church because I was really exhausted from a NYE party. We have a couch in the back to the side in this hallway where we have classrooms for sunday school so i just laid down as I listened to the service. I'm afraid that I was bitten in my sleep. I never noticed anthything when my parents woke me up, as I quickly checked around since I am paranoid about bats. BUT I'm afraid that it went down the hallway and that's why I didn't see anything or hear anything. I asked my priest today if he noticed any bats in the hall or if we have any unscreened windows and he said no. But my memory is playing tricks on me and now I'm imagining that one of the window screens had a tear in it therefore the bat could have came in and bit me and then flew away into some other area of the building.

I can't think straight and I just keep on googling. Part of me thinks that the scabs are a bit too far apart to belong to a little brown bat ( that's what we got a lot of in California and the US in general) I even found photos of bat skulls with a dime for reference and I was like wow ok to maybe my "bite" is a bit too wide for where the teeth would be.

I'm also freaking out since this happened about 5 days ago that by the time I get to have the shots I'll be too late. I am freaking out so much and I can't focus on class or my job or anything. It's really difficult.

How many of you guys have found symetricall 2 scab, bite looking thingies and thought OH GOD RABIES?

I don't want to get shots because idk if my insurance will cover them and I'm already going to be paying money for the hospital because i had a terrible stomach flu and needed IV and meds.


I'm sorry for the long post. :weep: I'm just so close to loosing it like I did 2 years ago about rabies. I thought I was over these rabies related meltdowns.

[AntsyVee]

Search up paranoid-viking’s thread on rabies and you’ll see how often the invisible bat strikes people on this site. You are not alone, and you don’t have rabies just like no one else on this site has ever has either.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hello and welcome to NMP :welcome:

There are tons of rabies posts about. Vee, was it LavenderRain on the Symptoms board with the long irrational thread as well?

The thing is, why a bat? Why not a snake or a spider or a rat or anything else? Rabies is an irrational fear you have so your subconscious notices something that could be attributed to what has been built around that fear. Your reaction to it is then a problem as you only reinforce it by panicking.

The size doesn't sound right to me anyway but obviously we have different species over here so I'm perhaps thinking about bats as I see them. But that was an interesting piece of potential counter evidence you found that you could use against your fear.

Bats don't want to bite us, we aren't fruit or moths. We are so large that they know to stay away from us. And doesn't is sound strange that a bat that doesn't live off us would bite you in your sleep, and didn't wake you up, but then just went off again with no sign?

Rabid animals don't tend to be so passive. If it was a dog would you expect one bite and then off it goes to look at something interesting? Or would a rabid dog be tearing your leg off?

[maz063]

Thanks you two. I'm feeling a bit better now and not so worried about the "bites" but I had a weird experience 2-3 nights ago where I woke up to the sound of air or something swooping by and I jolted my left hand as if something hopped or flew off of it. Of course I freaked and I searched my room for "the bat" found nothing and went to sleep.

Something like this happened before when my rabies anxiety was terrible. I heard a screech and it was loud and even had an echo and it sounded close to my ear. That was like a year and a half ago. I started thinking that the bat might have went under the door into another room but I'm pretty sure my roommate would have noticed it in the morning and also I checked my room right after I heard the swoosh noise and the feeling on my hand. I sleep with stuffed animals and little toys and I had my rubber duck in my hand while sleeping, i found it sandwiched between the wall and the bed for maybe the sensation I felt was my duck falling from on top of my fingers? The "bat" couldn't have flown perfectly under the door if I checked right after hearing and feeling when I woke up. I was raining so it could have been wind. But it felt so close to me to maybe it was a hallucination or just a part of a vivid dream?

I'm getting over everything else but this thing that happened towards the end of my sleep was just weird and kinda bothers me. I almost want to turn everything upside down or dig in the trash to find the bat.

---------- Post added at 10:26 ---------- Previous post was at 10:25 ----------

I also think I'm getting sick so that doesn't help. I got a sore throat and just feel crumby from poor sleep.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Well we have sleep stages that cover waking & falling asleep and part of normal functioning in these stages includes many sleep phenomena. Auditory, visual and olfactory hallucinations are all known to occur. Whilst these aren't caused by anxiety, anxiety is known to intensify sleep phenomena in these stages.

So, it's entirely possible it was a hallucination. Or a vivid dream mixed with the fluffy toys you mentioned. But there is no evidence of a bat at all. And screeching may easily have been a night bird of some kind (young owls screech when calling to their mothers, the mothers hoot back) or a small mammal perhaps? Bats make clicking sucking noises mostly, well ours do over here.

[maz063]

Yeah I know bats make clicking noises. At the time last year, I was just so tense and scared that everything was a bat to me.

I was supposed to have an appointment with my psychiatrist today but she had to cancel :( I really needed to talk about a dose increase for my lexapro because it's usually due when I get this bad.

That stupid swoosh and flying sensation has me puzzled and it probably was a hallucination. I really don't want to go back into the cycle of checking every corner of my room and the apartment.

[maz063]

OK so another mark that i had on my knee a month ago is now freakinf me freaking me out because my leg was hurting and i thought the bite area was tingling but it really wasn't and I know pain and tingling around the bite area is a tell tale sign. Am I just psychosomatically experiencing symptoms from the anxiety? Now I might paranoid that I'm dying and I should have gotten it checked out a month ago but I didn't not because I thought that I wasn't bein ridiculous for thinking that a bat bit my knee on the way to the gym. I was proud for not letting it get to me. But now I feel I screwed up.

[AntsyVee]

The mark is probably an indication that you hurt your knee in some way. You tell me what's more likely: you bumped into something and scraped your knee OR a bat flew into your house and bit you without you knowing?

[maz063]

I did slide off a rock climbing wall a few days priori to noticing it and remember my right knee getting hit. It just scared me because it was 2 symmetrical round scabs. Couldn't have also been a huge spider. My college has some really crazy bugs.

[AntsyVee]

I think it's a vampire. ;)

[maz063]

I've also been tensing my knee and leg a whole lot as I've been worrying so that's probably contributing to the discomfort

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yes, it's a wound site for whatever reason (the bang during rock climbing being an obvious culprit) so if you disturb it the nerves are going to tell the brain their is pain. Just like any wound if you poke or prod it. It's tender.

Then there is the focusing issue with anxiety. Anything you focus on always becomes more defined in the mind so you feel more. This is a part of the battle for us as we have to learn how to just let things be without adding to them.

Don't kick yourself, I think you've done well in working through this and it's hard to learn to accept anxiety symptoms to let them pass so you'll get there.

The anxious mind loves running away with itself in playing scenarios obsessively back & forth. Try not to let this suck you in. Discard the irrational and accept the rational but then try to let go and get on with your day.

I always remember early on in learning Mindfulness where Professor Mark Williams talks in one of his books about how we have a DOING mode and BEING mode. Too much time in DOING mode is how anxious minds work and that mode is for problem solving but much of what we experience in anxiety is just too big for it and it's trying to micro manage everything. Whereas BEING mode is more powerful and can observe, accept, etc. Things like this helped me with my OCD.

So, be wary of having too much thinking time. Healthy activities give us breaks.

[maz063]

That happened over a month ago. I'm now feeling this stuff in my leg. But yeah I'm pretty sure I'm just hyperfocusing on the area and intensifying the discomfort.

[AnxietyVeteran]

Idk if this is a little late, and I'm new to the site anyways so cut me some slack😂.

I have this exact same fear, right now actually. I have had rabies anxiety/ OCD for about a year now and I know exactly how you feel: you feel like you have no control over your mind and logic doesn't work to refute the thought.

I am currently scared of two little scabs on my knee. I know it probably was the cause on me not remembering hitting my knee outside or something like that, but logic makes no sence at all, so trust me, take it from someone who actually has this thought at this very moment.

To fix this, the best solution is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, to start at least. If it gets worse talk to a psychiatrist and ask if trying a medicine would be a better solution( I tried a medicine and it was a miracle for me!!). But whatever you do, don't try to get reassurance from a friend or family member that you are ok. This worsens the fear and you will never stop seeking reassurance because this is and irrational thought that is not consistent with reality.

Hope I could help, even if I'm late👍