Anxiety over my sexual orientation- Help pls as I am really struggling!

[arteight]

Hi everyone,

I am a woman in my mid 20s who is also a virgin with no experience of dating (this is a choice I have made for non religious reasons).

I consider myself romantically attracted to real life men but I dont really form sexual attraction to anyone outside of my fantasies. In contrast, I feel no romantic or sexual attraction to real life women at all.

In the past a few times (maybe 1-3 times) I had active (meaning I was awake) romantic fantasies of being with celebrity women (actress and an athlete) and imagined being in a dating relationship (living together, kissing etc) and yet as soon as the fantasy was done I couldnt help but laugh at it because I have no real life attraction towards these women but I have been watching lesbian movies and maybe it got me curious at to what it would be like.

I was turned on by the romantic fantasy but for whatever reason it doesnt crossover to any real life desire.

My question is does actively fantasizing about being with these celebrity women mean that I am attracted to them? And if so how come in real life I feel no desire for them romantically or sexually?

Pls if anyone can answer this one question as it been really hard working the complex situation out on my own as I have no knowledge on sexuality and I also have learning difficulties which mean that I can only comprehend basic Yes/No type of information. I tried reading stuff online and it only add to my confusion.

[axolotl]

Human sexuality is a spectrum, and it's quite possible to all intents and purposes be straight and have fantasies or curiosity about the same sex. Don't try and put it into boxes, don't worry about it, and just enjoy your daydreams.

[Juggar]

Sounds like a fetish or a simple fantasy. Like you said, it doesn’t translate into what you really want so I honestly wouldn’t worry about it.

[arteight]

Thank you both so much for you replies.
So active fantasies about specific people (like in my case two celebrity women) doesn't mean it equals attraction and attraction is based on real life feelings? Is that the correct understanding? I keep getting anxious thoughts that make me question if fantasizing about them means that I am attracted to them even though I know for certain that in real life (when I am not fantasizing) I do not find them attractive in a romantic or sexual way. If my fantasies where about imaginary people I dont think I would be this confused but its the fact that it was based around real people in the sense that the two celebrity women do exist in real life.

I wish I didn't overanalayse things but its the only way I feel informed about myself.

[axolotl]

Thank you both so much for you replies.
So active fantasies about specific people (like in my case two celebrity women) doesn't mean it equals attraction and attraction is based on real life feelings? Is that the correct understanding? I keep getting anxious thoughts that make me question if fantasizing about them means that I am attracted to them even though I know for certain that in real life (when I am not fantasizing) I do not find them attractive in a romantic or sexual way. If my fantasies where about imaginary people I dont think I would be this confused but its the fact that it was based around real people in the sense that the two celebrity women do exist in real life.

I wish I didn't overanalayse things but its the only way I feel informed about myself.

Celebrities blur the line between real and imaginary people, don't you think? Sure they really exist, but our knowledge of them is purely through media and they may as well be fictional characters.

Your mind is purely trying ideas on for size. Try not to overanalyse them. Fantasies and daydreams don't equate to what you actually want to do in real life, and we can be attracted other people in a whole range of complex ways. Celebrities are in the whole beautiful people, packaged to be attractive, powerful and aspirational. It's no wonder you feel drawn to them.

And if you were sexually or romantically attracted to some other women what would be the big deal? As I said, sexuality is a spectrum and I bet we've all experienced members of the same sex that've pushed our buttons to some degree in ways we find confusing.

[arteight]

Thank you so much for your help. I feel really better now having just got all my questions out of the way. And no there is nothing wrong with liking women, my issue isnt a "afraid to be LGBT" issue, its more of a "I dont know why I am fantasizing about people I feel no desire for in real life and what does this mean as I feel like I have an identity crisis" and trying to find answers. It more that than anything but you all helped so thank you :)

[ankietyjoe]

As other people have said here, it really doesn't matter.

Your sexual orientation does't have to 'mean' anything, it just is what it is. It's like asking what your skin colour means. It doesn't (or at least shouldn't) matter to yourself or anybody else.