Fear of schizophrenia

[iveyn]

Hello!
I am new here and my English is not perfect since I am not native, so I am sorry in advance if I make mistakes : )

I am very worried about something that started happening to me for 5 months now. Long story short, I started reading about schizophrenia after my boyfriend told me I've spoken in my sleep twice.. I read that it might be an early symptom and I started looking so close at every single thought I had.
I was very stressed and had a couple of panic attacks because of my fear of developing this mental illness.

1. Maybe I have always had a period of experiencing hypnagonia, but I never really paid attention, after I started concentrating on everything that happens in my mind it became such a big problem to me that I started experiencing them almost every night..

2.What really bothers me is that I have very random words or short phrases (max 3-4 words) popping into my mind. I can explain easier if I make you think of a word (for an example "cool shirt" ) in your mind with your inner voice, and then imagine that this word popped out of nowhere, I am not actively thinking about it, it just happens so fast.. I don't think I am hearing voices, but it's just my inner voice being more random sometimes.
- It usually happens when I read, am on the internet, and generally don't do anything.
- It scares me that it might be the first step of developing schizophrenia. It scared me because I wonder what if some strange word pops into my mind that has some religious meaning and I start wondering why did it pop into my mind? And start obsessing over it, what if I become delusional..

I talked to a psychologist, she said that I don't have schizophrenia, does someone else have experienced that kind of symptom? Is it normal? Am I just highly aware of everything in my mind?
I am so afraid, I want to cry.. My family is just so tired of me always speaking about this, I feel so guilty.

P.S : I am diagnosed with GAD, but I think I have OCD thoughts sometimes.

Thank you in advance.

[vekiqf]

Dear,

I had similar fear for 3 years until I changed it to fear of heart attack :(

Your mind and OCD are just playing tricks on you...if you think that you will devlop it you will not. People with schiz dont know that they have it ...

Try to relax and stop reading Dr.Google... there is no chance I repeat that you will develop it and if you already have GAD you are immune on psychosis

[iveyn]

Thank you..
I am just feeling so down and getting depressed. I read so many stuff about schizophrenia and I am so confused.. I just want to live without this fear :weep:
I read once some similar symptom like mine on a schizophrenia forum and I had a panic attack, my heart skips a beat very often and I cannot breathe properly..

[vekiqf]

dont read anything...if you do you will always fins sypmtoms :)
You dont have it and you can be 201% sure
It is very common fear in OCD and you can see that dozens of people have it

---------- Post added at 15:32 ---------- Previous post was at 15:31 ----------

you cant imagine what ideas I had and still didnt develop it...so try to relax and enjoy...do you take any meds?Zoloft worked great for me

[ServerError]

I also had a schizophrenia scare back in 2016. It was so bad I turned up at hospital three days in a row telling A&E staff that I was developing schizophrenia and needed help. Obviously, I wasn't!

Schizophrenia doesn't work this way. People who have it don't find themselves worrying about it and then go to their GP and have him/her refer them and then get a schziophrenia diagnosis. What happens is that their behaviour begins to change in ways that cause concern to others, who will then seek help for them. Meanwhile, the sufferer is unaware there's a problem until medication kicks in and, often, they suddenly see it.

[iveyn]

Thank you!
I am just very worried about those random words popping into my mind, mostly because I am not thinking them at all.. It is still my inner voice, but so random that scares me.

[axolotl]

Your mind is just a soup of random thoughts bubbling away at all times. We anxious types get into our states because we latch on to thoughts that we really should just ignore and let pass. In your case you've taken this to an extreme and are overanalysing every random brainfart you have.


I've spoken in my sleep twice

Practically every sleeping partner I've ever had has spoken in their sleep at some point, although it's admittedly a depressingly low sample. ;)

[Zomboy]

Hey iveyn :)

The same thing happens to me every day, randome words/sentences that just pop up on your mind without you actually thinking about them, what's even weirder is that they don't have anything to do with what you were doing at that moment.

Let me tell you that I know exactly how you feel and believe me when I say just calm down it's just a busy mind or a mind chatter.
I spent the whole summer worrying about this and found many people that have/had the same thing.
Those words were always there, but your anxiety is making you hyper focused on everything that is happening so you notice things that you never did before.

[iveyn]

Thank you so much for the replies.. It really made me feel better, like I am not alone and it happens to others as well. My biggest fear is not the thoughts (except of "what if some religious thing pops into my mind and I become delusional?"), but the fear that it might be connected to a mental illness.

I hope everything gets better :)

[j0sh_w]

I’m exactly the same! I worry over every mood change, period of anxiety or odd event that happens as a sign I’m developing a more serious mental illness (usually schizo or bipolar) and it’s the one thing I haven’t been able to shake off yet, despite my therapist saying I don’t have OCD. It’s been bothering me for over a year now without budging, trying to wean off googling too


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