Getting scared to go anywhere

[Kel_]

I'm starting to feel shaky and panicky when I'm going in the bath and am getting to the point of being scared to leave the house.
I need advice about how to just do these things and not think about it so much.

[Sleepy60]

I always feel safer at home but know that's not what I want in life so make myself go out and just keep reminding myself that I can do it!!! Even if you just go out for a Few hrs to start and build it up,maybe with someone,I find if I keep busy it stops me thinking too much.

[Kel_]

I'm going to work tomorrow and I'm feeling a bit nervous about it. Will need a lot of positive thinking to get me through

[Catherine S]

Kel, many years ago I felt the same way. I was bringing my children up alone and remember also being scared to have a bath in case I passed out and couldn't get help. I wouldn't lock doors in case I couldn't easily escape. Alot of things made me anxious in those days and I ended up not being able to leave the house as it got slowly much worse. My friend kindly took the children to school and picked them up, and my parents did my shopping...no online shops in those days!

I turned a corner when I had a community psychiatric nurse sent out to help me and he was brilliant. We don't have that luxury these days though I know, but what I will say to you is this...never let the anxiety control your thinking. Yes it feels like crap physically and they are absolutely real symptoms but they are the result of a very tired mind and the connection between the mind and body is huge.

After my recovery I became a volunteer for MIND, helping others to cope and met people who'd been trapped at home through fear for years. Don't allow Fishmanpa's dragon to do the same to you. Get up for work and when the panic descends tell it to get lost, take some deep breaths and go on with your day. You don't have to listen to the voice that tells you you'll be ill or pass out or similar because none of that will happen. It never did for me either, but the fear of it happening kept me trapped at home for too long.

You're stronger than your anxiety, you're stronger than you think.

Have a good Monday
Cath S ☺ x

[lior]

Heya, so many of us have been there. It's tough isn't it?

This is the time for lots of self-compassion. Though it doesn't seem easy at first to be nice to yourself when you're not acting how you'd ideally want to act, self-compassion is the long term and the short term solution. Long term - it will change your mood permanently. Short term - a self-compassionate attitude will guide you towards actions you can do in the moment.

Self-compassion is like a muscle - it grows when you put the work in. It gets easier when you've been building on it. Can you do something nice for yourself tonight to prepare for tomorrow? Self-compassionate actions could include going to bed on time, or packing your lunch in advance for work tomorrow - whatever will work for you.

What worked for me when I didn't want to leave the house was to bribe myself with the promise of a really good coffee from a cafe I like. That bribing and sweet-talking myself, with lots of 'well done's when I did brave things, made a difference. I still say 'well done' to myself now as a habit if I've found it difficult to leave the house, even though I'm not in a period of anxiety - I do it as I lock the front door behind me. It's good to build good habits like that.

Best of luck :) :)

---------- Post added at 21:52 ---------- Previous post was at 21:49 ----------

Also - what Cath said :)
I think of it as - there's that horrible mean voice inside of me - the anxiety. And then there's also a lovely kind compassionate voice inside me too. I just need to give more power to the compassionate voice, and I do that through practice - A LOT of persistent practice.

[AndrewCanada]

Agoraphobia is something I'm also dealing with right now and it's brutal. It started out with feeling more comfortable in the apartment. Then it was laying down in bed. Now I dread going to work or even going out to eat.

Lots of us have gone through or are going through this. Just try to remind yourself that the fear isn't objective reality.

[Elizabeth78]

Hi,
You are not alone in your fears. I reckon many people on this forum have been or are going through what you are. A number of years ago when my children were little. I remember dreading having to walk the short distance to their school twice a day. It felt like I was in a straight jacket. It's a horrible feeling isn't it? My overwhelming memory of that time is one of being completely trapped. I am a sensible, logical person and I just couldn't make sense of want I was feeling. Supermarkets terrified me! Going further than the end of my street made me feel lightheaded.
You have to believe that this feeling will pass. It will. You might feel like you're trapped at the moment but it won't last forever. Just the fact you have shared how you feel on this forum means you are leaving these restrictive feelings behind you. Your fears do not control you, you are moving forward, even if it feels slow.

[Kel_]

6 months on and I'm more anxious about going everywhere. I'm so scared it's unreal

[GiantMogwai]

Hi Kel,

CBT will definitely help with this one. Talk to your doctor and/or you can self refer. If you are in the UK there will be a local free service for this with a wait time of a couple of months usually.

CBT exposure therapy may help you. It helped me. I am still terrified of going many places but CBT moved me forward and really really helped.

What are you scared of out of interest?

With me it's people, crowds, feeling trapped, and getting overstimulated. It's got so bad that these next few weeks that I'm going to take a cab to work for two weeks I'm too scared to go on my high street. I had a screaming panic attack there recently. It is really horrid but so far there is always someone nice who helps. You might be surprised at how supportive strangers can be.

Also, with all of this - and this is just my opinion - it is not always ones own self that is the challenge, sometimes the environment around you changes and makes things harder, or other things might be going on in your life that also make things harder.

As an example, with me my local high street is getting busier and busier. That's not me changing. That's my high street, and i'm finding it hard to deal with. I fear going out onto it and for the next couple of weeks a big event is going on so I will avoid it but after that I'll give it a go and i'll get more CBT to help me if I need it. I'll persevere, although I'm scared.

Regarding baths, I fear slipping so am careful getting into the bath, and fear hurting my wrist so am careful getting out of the bath but once I'm in the bath I pretend I'm a sea creature - a whale or dolphin - and really relax. I say to myself that life came from the water, that I am mostly made of water, and I relax. If i was slimmer i might run less water in the bath. What worries you about the bath?

[JasonB2]

First of all you just need to take more time then other (maybe driven) people.
You deserve it.
No Shame for your 'panic-attacks' AT ALL.
You are not patient that Has THIS OR THAT:
You are yourself and just need to change your life so that it suits your enjoyment.
You don't need to scream NO NO NO to everything that comes to your mind.
Focus on your everyday living.
Look around, if your were dead you couldn't see all this.
So you are NOT dead :D
Your body knows it's all nonsense.
Allow yourself to smile about things
Don't try to 'endgain'.
There is no 'endgain' in life :D
Enjoy MANY things in live, don't 'cling' on just one thing.
Enjoy a thing and move on to the next.
For example enjoy cooking, enjoy chilling a bit, enjoy showering, enjoy hobby 1, enjoy hobby 2.^^
Don't make any unnecessary fixations on any thing.
Maybe this keeps you grounded.
So when one thing doesn't goes the way you like (ohhhhhhh ^^) you still have other things to enjoy.
Enjoying and laughing is natural.
If you want to cry a bit then cry, if you tremble a bit then let it tremble.
All that is natural, but don't get overly fixated on that.
Don't be sad about political and other happenings in the world.
Your are the BOSS.
Don't fixate on idols or something like that (question their 'perfection', it's marketing).
It's your ERA.

Just see how far you come. Like in an experiment. Don't try to force anything.
Improvements will come for you.

Love yourself completely everyday.
Everythign else might be just a waste of time.
Small improvements are still improvements.
And improvements WILL come if you keep self-loving ^^
I found solutions for all my 'fears' and 'panic attacks' on this homepage.
clarity-of-being.org
Might be challenging, but these answers are truly self empowering and not just playing around
And you will be one of the VERY few people that got to deeper understanding of all this

It might be that you are all very special people (and it might be in a very hope-giving way)
I had similiar problems and all are gone now and it never even was my own fault
Take your time.
You have aaaaaaaaalll the time.
Your body will NEVER act against you.
Never believe any nonsense.
Keep a good diet (for example, more whole grain carbohydrates, good fats(coconut oil, flax seed oil etc.) and enough sleep.
If you can't sleep just chill in the bed, you will still get rejuvenation
And also lie down 3 or 4 times or however often during the daytime to give yourself a bit more relaxation, if it's calming you down.
Let no one say how you should live your life. Don't try to be sheepy, like other schmocks