Alisha Fearer
13-01-18, 05:05
Hi, it's me again. This post might be quite long and I apologise, but please read as I need advice ASAP. :scared15:
I've posted on here a few times recently because of my health anxiety that is just eating me alive now. It all started when I was a kid, getting panicked over really stupid things like for example; the shape of my stomach, because clearly I just had no idea about anatomy back then and I also used to get scared of my belly button coming out and hated getting in the bath because I thought water was going to go through my belly button and into my stomach!! I just panicked about the weirdest things back then but as the years went by, my health anxiety started to become more and more serious, where I began worrying about things like brain tumours, heart problems, breast cancer, tetanus, retinal detachment, skin cancer, MS, ALS, lung diseases, diabetes, meningitis, basically just everything you can name. Even led poisoning was something I worried about once! There is a gigantic list of the countless diseases and health conditions that I've panicked about having over the years and it just doesn't stop!! It is driving me crazy and I'm so upset. I am seriously being pushed over the edge now and I really need help but don't know what the best thing to do is. It is a constant cycle of severe anxiety, panic and just general distress. Like many others with health anxiety, I develop one symptom, go crazy panicking about it, researching it on Google only to be told I have some serious deadly illness (because for some reason, these websites only seem to give you the worst case scenario causes of your symptoms, instead of telling you the natural, benign causes which are just as real as the serious ones..) The symptom drives me mad until it kind of runs its course, and I've maybe gone to the doctor and been told nothing's wrong, then my fear goes away, which is then often followed by the symptom itself.
Then I develop another symptom, freak about it, go through the same process with going to Dr. Google and everything, then it eventually all fades away, and it just keeps going to one symptom after the other, after the other in the same constant cycle, you get what I mean. There is not one week that goes by where I'm either suffering with a symptom and in a state of serious anxiety, or where I'm just waiting for the trillionth symptom to arise and repeat the cycle all over again. I was paranoid about my muscle twitches a while ago, as they were happening all over and constantly every day. I was convinced I had MS or some other serious condition and that made me sick to my stomach.
Then just over a week ago, I thought I had cervical cancer because of some blood in my discharge which is not normal for me but to be honest, that fear didn't go on for very long because it was such an intense fear (I was convinced I had cancer and was thinking all about chemo, possible death, sorry I know that sounds so terrible but it's true, I was basically pondering the sickening idea of me having cancer..) The fear was so immense that I think my brain just decided to shut it off to protect itself from having some kind of breakdown. I just suddenly felt numb to the core and luckily, I didn't notice (and still haven't) anymore blood so that has totally cleared that anxiety up. But now, the inevitable has happened and I've developed yet ANOTHER symptom :mad:
This symptom is very hard to describe so bare with me, I'll try to explain it the best I can. It is kind of like I'm having "phantom smells" you know when you suddenly smell something that isn't there, like smoke or something else when nothing is actually in the air? Like for example, I've got the whiff of smoke up my nose before that happens suddenly, then goes away after like a second. Well this symptom I have now is oddly different, I keep having all these many different smells just like "appearing" vaguely somewhere deep in my nose. It's not like I think I can physically smell them upon inhaling like the phantom smells I've had before, but rather, it's like the memory or thought of a certain smell is being triggered and I think that certain smell is in my nose for a split second or some of them even last a few seconds, but when I breath in through my nose, I can't smell anything and it just goes away. The kind of smells I keep "imagining" are for example alcohol (specifically Baileys Irish liquor which I do drink on the odd occasion.), perfume, washing up liquid, dirt, some random chemical, even curry or cheese. It is freaking me out and I really feel like I'm going crazy! Sorry if this doesn't make much sense but just try to imagine the 'memory' of a certain smell manifesting itself vaguely deep up your nose, it's almost like you've just inhaled it but it has instead just appeared there like something in your brain being triggered. Well, I researched of course, silly me! I researched it on Google and as usual, it just comes up with things like, "Experiencing phantom smells? You could have a brain tumour!" There are just links all throughout the search results talking about how if you have phantom smells, you either have epilepsy, tumour as mentioned, some kind of brain injury and basically all these worst case scenarios and as usual, nothing benign mentioned, at least not to my acknowledgement.
So, even though I know it is worst case scenario, I am now scared I may have a brain tumour or something badly wrong with my nerves. I have had brain tumour fears before, and since I also get some other odd little symptoms here and there, and also headaches, I'm scared all of this is because of a brain tumour. See how all this is just a big irrational mess? I feel so stupid and like I will never break free from this intoxicating cycle! I am just wondering if anyone has some good advice on what I can do to get better?? Btw I am on anxiety medication (Propranolol) but it isn't working as well as it used to which is so unhelpful, I will talk to the doctor about that some point soon. I just want to feel normal, instead of abnormal and on red alert all the time, wondering what it is I'm gonna die of next. :weep:
Has anyone else ever experienced this kind of odd smell symptom before? It won't stop happening. Could it be because of my anxiety or related to some kind of psychological issue? Could it be because my brain is just glitching because of my anxiety issues or could it even be because of lack of sleep? I haven't got hardly any sleep for the past few nights, I've probably only got about 3-4 hours, which I know is real bad. I certainly hope this odd symptom is just because of something like that! Sorry, I've ranted on enough. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Help me. :ohmy:
I've posted on here a few times recently because of my health anxiety that is just eating me alive now. It all started when I was a kid, getting panicked over really stupid things like for example; the shape of my stomach, because clearly I just had no idea about anatomy back then and I also used to get scared of my belly button coming out and hated getting in the bath because I thought water was going to go through my belly button and into my stomach!! I just panicked about the weirdest things back then but as the years went by, my health anxiety started to become more and more serious, where I began worrying about things like brain tumours, heart problems, breast cancer, tetanus, retinal detachment, skin cancer, MS, ALS, lung diseases, diabetes, meningitis, basically just everything you can name. Even led poisoning was something I worried about once! There is a gigantic list of the countless diseases and health conditions that I've panicked about having over the years and it just doesn't stop!! It is driving me crazy and I'm so upset. I am seriously being pushed over the edge now and I really need help but don't know what the best thing to do is. It is a constant cycle of severe anxiety, panic and just general distress. Like many others with health anxiety, I develop one symptom, go crazy panicking about it, researching it on Google only to be told I have some serious deadly illness (because for some reason, these websites only seem to give you the worst case scenario causes of your symptoms, instead of telling you the natural, benign causes which are just as real as the serious ones..) The symptom drives me mad until it kind of runs its course, and I've maybe gone to the doctor and been told nothing's wrong, then my fear goes away, which is then often followed by the symptom itself.
Then I develop another symptom, freak about it, go through the same process with going to Dr. Google and everything, then it eventually all fades away, and it just keeps going to one symptom after the other, after the other in the same constant cycle, you get what I mean. There is not one week that goes by where I'm either suffering with a symptom and in a state of serious anxiety, or where I'm just waiting for the trillionth symptom to arise and repeat the cycle all over again. I was paranoid about my muscle twitches a while ago, as they were happening all over and constantly every day. I was convinced I had MS or some other serious condition and that made me sick to my stomach.
Then just over a week ago, I thought I had cervical cancer because of some blood in my discharge which is not normal for me but to be honest, that fear didn't go on for very long because it was such an intense fear (I was convinced I had cancer and was thinking all about chemo, possible death, sorry I know that sounds so terrible but it's true, I was basically pondering the sickening idea of me having cancer..) The fear was so immense that I think my brain just decided to shut it off to protect itself from having some kind of breakdown. I just suddenly felt numb to the core and luckily, I didn't notice (and still haven't) anymore blood so that has totally cleared that anxiety up. But now, the inevitable has happened and I've developed yet ANOTHER symptom :mad:
This symptom is very hard to describe so bare with me, I'll try to explain it the best I can. It is kind of like I'm having "phantom smells" you know when you suddenly smell something that isn't there, like smoke or something else when nothing is actually in the air? Like for example, I've got the whiff of smoke up my nose before that happens suddenly, then goes away after like a second. Well this symptom I have now is oddly different, I keep having all these many different smells just like "appearing" vaguely somewhere deep in my nose. It's not like I think I can physically smell them upon inhaling like the phantom smells I've had before, but rather, it's like the memory or thought of a certain smell is being triggered and I think that certain smell is in my nose for a split second or some of them even last a few seconds, but when I breath in through my nose, I can't smell anything and it just goes away. The kind of smells I keep "imagining" are for example alcohol (specifically Baileys Irish liquor which I do drink on the odd occasion.), perfume, washing up liquid, dirt, some random chemical, even curry or cheese. It is freaking me out and I really feel like I'm going crazy! Sorry if this doesn't make much sense but just try to imagine the 'memory' of a certain smell manifesting itself vaguely deep up your nose, it's almost like you've just inhaled it but it has instead just appeared there like something in your brain being triggered. Well, I researched of course, silly me! I researched it on Google and as usual, it just comes up with things like, "Experiencing phantom smells? You could have a brain tumour!" There are just links all throughout the search results talking about how if you have phantom smells, you either have epilepsy, tumour as mentioned, some kind of brain injury and basically all these worst case scenarios and as usual, nothing benign mentioned, at least not to my acknowledgement.
So, even though I know it is worst case scenario, I am now scared I may have a brain tumour or something badly wrong with my nerves. I have had brain tumour fears before, and since I also get some other odd little symptoms here and there, and also headaches, I'm scared all of this is because of a brain tumour. See how all this is just a big irrational mess? I feel so stupid and like I will never break free from this intoxicating cycle! I am just wondering if anyone has some good advice on what I can do to get better?? Btw I am on anxiety medication (Propranolol) but it isn't working as well as it used to which is so unhelpful, I will talk to the doctor about that some point soon. I just want to feel normal, instead of abnormal and on red alert all the time, wondering what it is I'm gonna die of next. :weep:
Has anyone else ever experienced this kind of odd smell symptom before? It won't stop happening. Could it be because of my anxiety or related to some kind of psychological issue? Could it be because my brain is just glitching because of my anxiety issues or could it even be because of lack of sleep? I haven't got hardly any sleep for the past few nights, I've probably only got about 3-4 hours, which I know is real bad. I certainly hope this odd symptom is just because of something like that! Sorry, I've ranted on enough. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Help me. :ohmy: