View Full Version : Checking, googling, reasurance seeking......
TheGroundhog
15-01-18, 10:20
It's vital to remember that all of these behaviours are making your health anxiety (and that is what you have, not lung cancer, not a heart attack, no, that tiny perfect mole isn't skin cancer, your lymph nodes are just doing their own sweet thing, your brain tumour is a headache, you don't have MS or ALS, your whole digestive system is in turmoil - Because You Have Anxiety).
Every time you have a 'quick google', every time you ask your partner/mum/boss/stranger in the pub to look at a random spot on your shoulder, every time you ask for another test at the GP, every time you list any symptom on here;
You
Get
Worse.
You feed your anxiety.
You program your brain to do this more and more and more.
All you have to do is;
Stop.
Seriously, it's that simple (and that hellishly hard).
If this forum took a week where NOBODY posted a symptom, EVERYBODY pledged not to Google, and EVERYBODY pledged not to ask anyone irl anything about symptoms. I can GUARANTEE you would feel better by the end of the week. And then if you kept it up week on week you would feel better and better.
Is anyone prepared to try? Just use this thread for a week, talk about your anxiety, but NOT symptoms, not what you think you have, might have, definitely have and will die from on Tuesday. But that you are sad, scared, down. But again, not why. People can support you in you anxiety, most here are bloody experts.
It's just a thought, will probably roll past like tumbleweed, but in a week you could feel better than you do now, in a month, vastly improved, it's there for the taking.
Malibustace
15-01-18, 10:23
This is a great post, and I will be trying my best to do as you suggest :D
This is such a good idea but I can't help that nagging voice at the back of my head reminding me... what if it's a brain tumour, what if it's something sinister
Annaboodle
15-01-18, 14:17
This is a great post - thank you. The point about all the different types of reassurance-seeking is particularly well made. I think there's a danger of thinking that because you're posting on an anxiety forum you're of course doing something good for your anxiety. If all you ever post about is perceived physical symptoms related to whatever condition you think you have then it's the opposite.
MyNameIsTerry
16-01-18, 02:05
Giving you a bump as you have already hit page 2. Another member has just raising something similar too so there is some who want to.
Just something to add from the point of view of a non HAer, I think also that there needs to be work on practical use of a GP i.e. the inserting waiting periods, because going to GP's when it is not needed is still reassurance-seeking and will get in the way of learning to tolerate the anxiety, thoughts, etc which there is lots of work going into in your OP.
tryingtosurvive1
16-01-18, 04:07
good to see this. hopefully i'll have the commitment to post here for a few days at least!
This is an excellent thread and I would like to contribute my bit seeing as I'm going through an HA episode at the moment and do not want to fall foul of all the horrible temptations available online.
I think another scaremongering area is NHS111.Honestly, it's no wonder A&E is crammed to the rafters. I'm not going to discuss my symptoms but they follow on from a pleurisy diagnosis last month. As a carer I can't afford to be ill and this is a major contributing factor to my HA..but it is no excuse and I need to deal with my panic which so easily gets out of hand.
MyNameIsTerry
16-01-18, 08:27
This is an excellent thread and I would like to contribute my bit seeing as I'm going through an HA episode at the moment and do not want to fall foul of all the horrible temptations available online.
I think another scaremongering area is NHS111.Honestly, it's no wonder A&E is crammed to the rafters. I'm not going to discuss my symptoms but they follow on from a pleurisy diagnosis last month. As a carer I can't afford to be ill and this is a major contributing factor to my HA..but it is no excuse and I need to deal with my panic which so easily gets out of hand.
:hugs:
When my mum was ill with pneumonia a while back we called them. 30 minutes on the phone to be told it was a heart attack and the ambulance crew turned up with a different diagnosis. :doh: 30 minutes!
The crew did some eye rolling naturally. The out of hours GP actually told us never to call 111. That was quite an statement coming from a GP.
So, I agree. That service has problems.
I hope you feel better soon. You will kick it's bum, I have no doubt in my mind of that. :yesyes:
Thanks,Terry . I'm never phoning 111 again-I only did so to get some advice on pain meds and was told I would regret it if I didn't go to A&E to get checked over.I didn't go and held out but feel I should go to the GP today. I feel I should be able to wait but admit that I'm not strong enough to at the moment. I will see what the GP says, accept it and move on.
flatterycat
16-01-18, 09:34
I’m going to follow this.
I'm game. My HA is at a high again, and I've lost control. I'm tired. It's 4:30am and I'm awake after 2 hours of sleep. Why? Because I'm scared. I woke up with stomach acid, and the little voice woke me, telling me it was something more sinister. I sat up, shaking with a panic attack. That little voice wants me to Google. I know it's not going to end well. So, while I'm going to lose sleep, I'm not going to lose this battle. Thanks for the encouragement.
Please don't Google. It will all end in tears and more sleepless nights. Follow this thread and keep reading TheGroundhog's wise words and don't read anything about spiralling symptoms from others on here.
Catherine S
16-01-18, 14:51
Good thread, and actually this is what the forum was set up for in the first place. I remember how it was with affection now lol! It was created by Nicola to address anxiety and panic, not to advise people about their symptoms and what blood tests mean. It's a fine line for alot of people though, in understanding the difference between posting to ask for help with their anxiety and posting to ask what each symptom might mean.
In other words, don't ask us about your symptoms BEFORE you've been checked out, ask us to help AFTER you've been told it's anxiety or depression and we'll do our best to help you cope with it :)
Emilychazza98
16-01-18, 17:46
I was told the very same advice yesterday by my therapist.
As I'm not getting any better, only worse from anxiety he told me I need to start doing something to get better. His advice was
.stop the self assessing behaviours
.stop googling
.keep busy
.adult colouring books for distraction
.be the bully of anxiety and take control
Mindprison
16-01-18, 17:52
Good thread. I'll give it a try too and see how it goes
Good thread, and actually this is what the forum was set up for in the first place. I remember how it was with affection now lol! It was created by Nicola to address anxiety and panic, not to advise people about their symptoms and what blood tests mean. It's a fine line for alot of people though, in understanding the difference between posting to ask for help with their anxiety and posting to ask what each symptom might mean.
In other words, don't ask us about your symptoms BEFORE you've been checked out, ask us to help AFTER you've been told it's anxiety or depression and we'll do our best to help you cope with it :)
It's a shame that so many people are resistant to this approach and are locked in a self-torture cycle.
tryingtosurvive1
17-01-18, 06:06
Well, today I didn't google health related information or seek reassurance off or online. I realize Facebook sends me down a lot of rabbit holes as well. It also encourages me to spend too much time on the group for my medical condition, when there's not a lot of new or helpful information I'm getting. So I should think about how to moderate my time there.
I think getting through one day without googling health related things was an achievement!
Yes it certainly was and well done! It's a pretty boring and futile exercise anyway.
TheGroundhog
17-01-18, 12:11
Yay! How nice to see people responding and considering/or actually giving it a go - well done, huge respect, it's really hard but you can do it.
Do keep posting to say how you are getting on, if one person got through a whole week of no adverse behaviours - that would be amazing!
I was trapped in HA for the best part of 25 years and have been in therapy for the last 7 years. I will always have anxiety, I will probably always have HA blips, but by controlling your own behaviour, you can live with it okay, honestly.
MyNameIsTerry
18-01-18, 02:03
I was told the very same advice yesterday by my therapist.
As I'm not getting any better, only worse from anxiety he told me I need to start doing something to get better. His advice was
.stop the self assessing behaviours
.stop googling
.keep busy
.adult colouring books for distraction
.be the bully of anxiety and take control
Yes, empowerment. Wanting to do something is more powerful than being pushed into it by fear, or so it goes. It gets easier as you improve but it's very hard earlier on.
Yes, it's not all about tackling anxiety, it's about healthy behaviours. If your life is spent in Depleting activities as they call them you only feed the negative wolf. And many things stimulate release of endorphins, like exercise, so spend less time getting hammered by adrenaline & cortisol.
If you can't just stop then take the more successful ERP appropriate. Cut down steadily, insert gaps of time between feeling the need and actually doing it, reduce time on, address sites used, etc. It's not all about stop now, it's a generalisation that it's that the only way and everyone can do the same. If it weren't, we would have to ask why medical professionals all use CBT which includes ERP as opposing to the old exposure techniques like flooding.
Catherine S
18-01-18, 02:15
Well, today I didn't google health related information or seek reassurance off or online. I realize Facebook sends me down a lot of rabbit holes as well. It also encourages me to spend too much time on the group for my medical condition, when there's not a lot of new or helpful information I'm getting. So I should think about how to moderate my time there.
I think getting through one day without googling health related things was an achievement!
Well done you. An achievement indeed :yesyes:
I was told the very same advice yesterday by my therapist.
As I'm not getting any better, only worse from anxiety he told me I need to start doing something to get better. His advice was
.stop the self assessing behaviours
.stop googling
.keep busy
.adult colouring books for distraction
.be the bully of anxiety and take control
I like this, especially the last point. When you think about it, anxiety or not, it's the negativity that feed the dragon. Whether it's dwelling on a symptom and feeding it with Google or being upset about a life issue like work or a relationship issue or world events, by dwelling on the negativity, it feeds the dragon and allows him to bully you.
Just like Ralphie in the "Christmas Story", there has to come a time when you say "enough" and fight back. Doing so can empower you to keep the bully at bay ;)
Positive thoughts
tryingtosurvive1
18-01-18, 06:04
well, I didn't google or ask for reassurance today. I did read a little health-related material on social media--if I really want to consume nothing health related I have to avoid Facebook and instagram.
I notice I am still fixated on the symptoms of my health condition, which is real but not going to kill me, and has been taking over my life mentally. I spend a *lot* of time thinking about worst-case scenarios.
Tomorrow I go to therapy. I hope I can refrain from asking my therapist for reassurance about my physical health, which she isn't able to give me anyway (she's not that kind of doctor!) I will share my two days of posting here with her.
Just checking in. I've been doing pretty well, although I did Google kidney stones today. I really only have heart and stroke ha, so at least there's that. Currently lying in bed, unable to breathe from anxiety. The ha is whispering that it's actually my heart, but I'm not googling. Just waiting for this stupid symptom (along with my sweaty hands and feet) to go away so I can sleep.
I quit my constant blood pressure and pulse monitoring several months ago. I'm sure I can quit this too.
Hope everyone is well.
tryingtosurvive1
19-01-18, 05:13
day three: didn't google, didn't bug my therapist for reassurance
I almost read a flu related article on my Facebook that was rather alarmist. I don't have flu anxiety but figured it would be better not to bite.
I, uh, read some articles about teens daring each other to eat tide pods. Not sure how to categorize that!
I am having increased google urges though. can I resist them? I will report back tomorrow.
over and out!
tryingtosurvive1
20-01-18, 06:26
day 4-no googling about health! pretty good.
While I've been pretty good for a few days about not googling, I've been less successful in pursuing ways of dealing positively with some of my real symptoms (i.e. calling physical therapy, seeing if I am still able to do yoga etc) I think if I can manage to keep off the google for another several days I should push to be more proactive.
I sense a relapse may be coming tho . . . hope not . . .
TheGroundhog
20-01-18, 09:03
It sounds like you are doing brilliantly, 4 days is a serious achievement, seriously well done.
If you are tempted to have a quick Google try and remember how far you have come and how quickly it will set you back.
Have a watch of this and see if it's something you could try, it helps me enormously and I use it every day.
https://youtu.be/4PkrhH-bkpk
Just those few seconds or minutes can really get you back on track.
I love yoga, what about setting yourself a small target like one set of sun salutation? Then maybe add another set in a day or two?
Always baby steps. Just to check you are not asking anyone else about your symptoms or 'checking' yourself? Both of these will add to your anxiety.
A final thing, try to accept anxious thoughts as they come into your head and recognise that they are just thoughts that cannot hurt you and are not based on fact. If you had the thought you could fly you would smile and dismiss it, yet if we have the thought something is wrong with us we latch onto it and panic, yet both are just thoughts. Allow anxious thoughts to come and then go about your day and do the things you want to do, don't fight them or be mad at them, don't try to get rid of them. Spot them and recognise them for what they are, just thoughts.
Good luck, keep going :yesyes:
I always make the mistake of getting angry with myself and it's so unhelpful. Thanks for your wise words, The Groundhog.
I didn’t google today. My anxiety was lower as the day went on, probably because I distracted myself by getting out of the house and doing stuff. I am still bothered by my dizziness, which is with me no matter if I’m at home or out and about. Ugh. I just want it to go away :weep:
tryingtosurvive1
21-01-18, 08:50
didn't google or ask for reassurance but it was a hard day. I kept thinking my health problem is causing a fairly rare complication and i will die young. However I didn't do any compulsive behaviors so I guess I succeeded!
TheGroundhog
21-01-18, 11:45
You are both doing great, keep at it!
Remember thoughts are just thoughts, whatever they are telling you. Sometimes it helps to name them, so 'oh there's the dying young story, I know that one!' be gentle with them, even smile at your minds creativity. Then carry on with something you want to do taking your anxiety with you.
Try really hard not to struggle with it, will or wish it away, it's not possible, it makes it stronger. Instead just recognise your thoughts and feelings, accept them, then go about something you want to do, taking your anxiety with you.
Give it a try, you are doing great!
It's very true, I've gone through stages spanning months where I don't google, reassurance seek and prod and check myself my anxiety is still there but overall I feel better. I'm hoping to be able to do that again sometime soon but unfortunately I don't think I can right now but hopefully soon.
Glad to hear some of you are having success :)
tryingtosurvive1
22-01-18, 03:47
Haven't googled today but I did ask for reassurance and I bought something to test my breathing off amazon. Breathing problems being a rare symptom. hmm.
One thing I notice is that my anxiety started bleeding into other areas of my life; I am getting paranoid or at least hypervigilant about a social group I'm part of.
Didn't update yesterday as I was in bed sick with the stomach flu most of the day. I didn't Google yesterday and I only asked for reassurance once. I wasn't particularly worried about lymphoma yesterday as I was wrapped up in the stomach flu but towards the end of the night when I felt a little better I worried a little again because why did I get a fever and no one else in my family did? Did I even have the same thing as mine came out the other end (TMI), so I didn't vomit, whereas everyone else in my family vomited. However, I will spend so much time fighting it and it will travel to the other side of me so I end up having (TMI) diarrhea instead. My husband ended up getting sick too and he didn't have a fever at first, but I think he ended up with a fever later because he was very cold in our room and I wasn't, as my fever had subsided.
This morning I still feel dizzy. I am still a little worried, not sure if that will change until I get the CT scans, which I am also worried about.
How can I be so convinced of something if I don't have it?
It's vital to remember that all of these behaviours are making your health anxiety (and that is what you have, not lung cancer, not a heart attack, no, that tiny perfect mole isn't skin cancer, your lymph nodes are just doing their own sweet thing, your brain tumour is a headache, you don't have MS or ALS, your whole digestive system is in turmoil - Because You Have Anxiety).
Every time you have a 'quick google', every time you ask your partner/mum/boss/stranger in the pub to look at a random spot on your shoulder, every time you ask for another test at the GP, every time you list any symptom on here;
You
Get
Worse.
You feed your anxiety.
You program your brain to do this more and more and more.
All you have to do is;
Stop.
Seriously, it's that simple (and that hellishly hard).
If this forum took a week where NOBODY posted a symptom, EVERYBODY pledged not to Google, and EVERYBODY pledged not to ask anyone irl anything about symptoms. I can GUARANTEE you would feel better by the end of the week. And then if you kept it up week on week you would feel better and better.
Is anyone prepared to try? Just use this thread for a week, talk about your anxiety, but NOT symptoms, not what you think you have, might have, definitely have and will die from on Tuesday. But that you are sad, scared, down. But again, not why. People can support you in you anxiety, most here are bloody experts.
It's just a thought, will probably roll past like tumbleweed, but in a week you could feel better than you do now, in a month, vastly improved, it's there for the taking.
Brilliant post.... I'm going to sit with my Vulnerability more... accept it rather than fight it..... be thee of good spirits :)
I didn't google because I have already googled everything about my current scares. I got all clear for my lymph nodes because they are not even enlarged but I remember that itching is a sign of lymphoma and so today I had a random itch on my arm (most likely because I am wearing a wool sweater on a bare skin, lol) and on my fingers (I always get it in winter when it is cold outside and when especially when I forget to wear my gloves). But now my mind went back to lymphoma scare and I am constantly monitoring my skin for any new "itches" as if other people wouldn't get them too here and there.
My problem thus is that I have already read everything about lymphoma and how can I forget it? Not googling it not much of a help because it is all already in my mind.
I didn't google because I have already googled everything about my current scares. I got all clear for my lymph nodes because they are not even enlarged but I remember that itching is a sign of lymphoma and so today I had a random itch on my arm (most likely because I am wearing a wool sweater on a bare skin, lol) and on my fingers (I always get it in winter when it is cold outside and when especially when I forget to wear my gloves). But now my mind went back to lymphoma scare and I am constantly monitoring my skin for any new "itches" as if other people wouldn't get them too here and there.
My problem thus is that I have already read everything about lymphoma and how can I forget it? Not googling it not much of a help because it is all already in my mind.
Thing is your anxiety has plonked a massive lie in your head, and your reaction to the anxiety has been to train your brain it has to be vigilant to the signs of lymphoma.
But why?
You're not in a particular risk group for lymphoma?
You've got no symptoms of lymphoma?
There's no indication you have lymphoma?
There's a million other diseases you don't obsess over?
It's about training your brain to not feel like you're putting yourself at risk by ignoring the "signs" of lymphoma. Because it's rubbish your anxiety has plonked in your head.
Part of that is doing things that, at the moment, seems scary, because your anxiety will scream at you to keep this thing going. Stopping researching. Stopping Googling. Stopping checking behaviours that make you feel safe. And at first that will seem scary.
It's also not about stopping the thoughts. That doesn't work, and just causes more anxiety, and trains your brain that these thoughts are worth engaging with. It's about letting them in and neutralising them by gently dismissing them. It's hard but you can do it.
It's also about managing to make a post on here without the words "itching", "nodes", "lymphoma", etc. I don't think you realise how much your post reads like someone subconsciously hoping someone makes some reassurances about lymphomas there, even though we're talking about something else... ;)
Absolutely. This is not meant to be a thread about symptoms!!
Sorry. It did register with me only when I already posted. Won't happen again.
I am genuinely ill at the moment...so it's not in my head this time...however, googling has only made things, much MUCH worse. I was up until 3am last night researching kidney failure and keeping an eye on my pulse....it's draining and does nothing to help, whatever the situation :(
---------- Post added at 22:04 ---------- Previous post was at 22:03 ----------
I wish I could put some kind of block on google regarding health searches....where it would just shut the page down if I put anything health related in there...
tryingtosurvive1
23-01-18, 06:13
Well, I didn't google or ask for reassurance today. I was distracted by work too. Sometimes the weekend is harder.
Also I didn't check Facebook at work, which is quite a triumph. I think because I had an interesting problem to work on.
---------- Post added at 22:13 ---------- Previous post was at 22:04 ----------
I am genuinely ill at the moment...so it's not in my head this time...however, googling has only made things, much MUCH worse. I was up until 3am last night researching kidney failure and keeping an eye on my pulse....it's draining and does nothing to help, whatever the situation :(
---------- Post added at 22:04 ---------- Previous post was at 22:03 ----------
I wish I could put some kind of block on google regarding health searches....where it would just shut the page down if I put anything health related in there...
See if you can spend ONE day off google. If you need to see the doctor again, schedule that, but don't google!
GiovanniNL
23-01-18, 15:37
Great post. I didn't Google symptoms since Saturday and I'm feeling good yesterday and today.
Just don't Google and you feel a lot better, Google making everything a lot worse.
tryingtosurvive1
24-01-18, 04:33
well, didn't google today or ask for reassurance.
Thank you for this thread which I think is very important .
A few weeks back I was worried about some symptoms and put myself through unnecessary stress . I looked back to a thread I started in 2008 and noticed similarities in symptoms . I got to thinking "you've' put your self through 10 years of symptom checking and all the time not one single disease or illness was present". We need to take this thread seriously and listen to what it says .
New to the forum and wanted to follow this thread, looks as though it could be helpful. I am going through a bit of an anxiety relapse after coming off my medication...lasted a few months after withdrawal and am now back on a new one as the physical symptoms returned :(
I then start with the google and reassurance seeking as I am not sure if it really is anxiety or something more serious...and then the vicious cycle begins!
Currently struggling with vision and eye strain issues and trying to convince myself it is probably just side effects of the new medication as I have only been on it 2 weeks but I can't seem to shut up the mind monkey!
I am going to try to not not to figure it out and accept it for a week as you suggest and hope that it gives my mind the break it needs....although it's a lot easier said than done :)
I looked back at an old post of mine and in a sentence I wrote " surely this is not just anxiety " ........... Off to GP ,more tests, more reassurance ,more GP time wasting .....
I looked back at an old post of mine and in a sentence I wrote " surely this is not just anxiety " ........... Off to GP ,more tests, more reassurance ,more GP time wasting .....
That is one of the most commonly used phrases on NMP, along with "but I don't feel anxious"
Good to see people being receptive to this thread..
tryingtosurvive1
26-01-18, 06:51
Still not googling, though I occasionally go down some social media link paths. I have been sick for a couple days with some kind of stomach bug so I was too tired to google anyway.
I have mostly just been annoyed by my stomach thing, reminding me that for most of my life I've been kind of blasé about health problems. Reading some of these posts, esp the rabies ones, I sometimes wonder if I have "real" health anxiety or am just having trouble adjusting to middle age, the uncovering of a chronic condition and the first major issue of one of my parents. Let's put it this way: I think I am at a crossroads where my challenge is to come to terms with my mortality and that of my parents *without* letting my pre-existing OCD take over. So, yes, maybe I'm a latecomer to health anxiety in that it hasn't been there all my life but I sure have had it for the last year or two. And it's important that I work to overcome it.
I don't want to talk about my own/my family's health too much . . . redacted the exact issues . . .but it's interesting to note I'm developing some "imposter syndrome" about health anxiety as I google less. I must remember I'm a bona fide HA-er who cannot google about health in moderation!
After posting in this thread and agreeing with OP I got a GP call that my second chest xray showed some fluid so she ordered a CT scan and my HA went off the scale . I didn,t sleep all night cant eat . This HA is so entrenched I need face to face counselling I think . I just don't understand it. I tried a really tried not to google but did have a few searches and as usual Dr google doesn't disappoint whereby the word staring with C in always in the list .
I am a recovering alcoholic of 6 months and I feel like picking up .
Could be pleural effusion? Please don't continue googling or jump to worst case scenario territory? It's so hard not to when you receive unexpected news but you have to wait for the CT scan rather than consult the internet. You need help with the wait-would your GP consider diazepam to help you deal with the anxiety? You have done so well to come off the booze.
Thank you , I have been given some diazepam short term .
I arranged a telephone consultation and the doc put things a different way to me which in my opinion was easier to hear . Dammed HA always needing reassurance . Sorry if I used this brilliant thread for this post .
Don't apologise. You didn't google and spoke to the doctor directly. In view of the circumstances you just wanted a more detailed explanation and there's nothing wrong with that. Glad that you've got the diazepam and I hope it takes the edge off your anxiety. Keep on with the good work-you are being tested but you are doing fine!
tryingtosurvive1
27-01-18, 06:26
I totally fell off the wagon today. There was a trigger. Tomorrow I'll restart the clock.
---------- Post added at 22:26 ---------- Previous post was at 22:26 ----------
I'm possibly going to start a new thread tomorrow with a no symptoms suggestion. If I myself can follow that suggestion . . .
BUMP! Great thread!
Positive thoughts
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