View Full Version : LOL Thread - whats weirdest thing your anxiety has got you doing?
Thought we should take time to laugh at self.
My top 3.
1. poo checking, gross.
2. pacing up and down street sniffing
3. burning self on oven door to see if I had pain reflex.
Yours?
I poo check, is that weird? I hadn't even thought about it. I have IBS (have had it for 20 years or more), so I'm used to it being off and checking it.
I once took off all of my clothes during a panic attack. (Luckily, it was in my bedroom!) Then, I googled it, and diagnosed myself with a seizure and flipped out about that. I think that's the weirdest thing I've done because of anxiety.
budgie1979
19-01-18, 19:25
Poo checking is probably my weirdest, including fishing some out of the bowl so I can get a better look at the color. :weep:
I keep a thermometer in my desk drawer at work and by my bedside in case I feel feverish.
Wearing a face mask while waiting in Urgent Care, but they provide them at the check in desk, so maybe that’s not so weird.
Using a hand mirror to get a good look at my privates.
Trying to make myself throw up because I took an excedrin and then worried about it causing stomach bleeding.
Taking pictures of poo/urine so I can compare to subsequent days.
Swallowing large lumps of carrot to see if they get stuck
Recording myself speaking to see if my voice is slurring
Looking at poo with a torch
Looking in mouth, up nose, at bum with torch
Burning myself with matches to test nerves
:eek: seriously you all need help to control your severe HA conditions not being funny but telling it as it is :) ATB
FLip guys that seriously scary to burn yourself on the oven or with matches to test nerves !!!!
:eek: seriously you all need help to control your severe HA conditions not being funny but telling it as it is :) ATB
Agreed. If you can laugh at yourself, that's a good thing but sadly, much of the behavior (and self harming behavior) is still going on as evidenced by the threads.
Positive thoughts
I agree; its kind of funny to laugh at it afterwards, look back on yourself and laugh at the mess you got into....but...if you are still doing some of those things then.....:scared15:
Try again damn cursor lol Yeah agreed laugh at ones self, and then do something proactive about recovering :yesyes: ATB
Jumping up and down in an elevator. I was alone there and it stuck. Only then I understood what I did. I called the security team and they fixed it. Luckily there was not a videocamera.
I was jumping because i had pain in my head and I thought it was a blood clot or aneurism and checked if it got worse by jumping. I felt so embarassed that i told that noone.
This is far from a "LOL thread", it's actually distressing to hear where everyone's anxiety's taking them and I hope writing these things down makes you take real steps to get professional real-world help for mental health issues if you're not already.
MyNameIsTerry
20-01-18, 02:35
This is far from a "LOL thread", it's actually distressing to hear where everyone's anxiety's taking them and I hope writing these things down makes you take real steps to get professional real-world help for mental health issues if you're not already.
We've had threads just like this and the responses were "it's good to laugh at your anxiety" by many. I think we need to look beyond who raised the thread here. Perhaps not to everyone's tastes but if it helps some, fair play.
Getting help is a definite for all of us on NMP.
Maybe it's hard for people who haven't been in an HA spiral to see the humor? I don't know. I laugh at myself thinking of some of the ridiculous things I've done ... I think it makes it a little more palatable when a lot of us have a lot of shame and embarrassment over these things.
I had a panic attack and was sobbing every night thinking I was smelling smoke that wasn't really there. I would smell it at work, in the car, etc. Then I realized it was on my clothes from our fireplace. :doh:
Maybe it's hard for people who haven't been in an HA spiral to see the humor? I don't know. I laugh at myself thinking of some of the ridiculous things I've done ... I think it makes it a little more palatable when a lot of us have a lot of shame and embarrassment over these things.
I had a panic attack and was sobbing every night thinking I was smelling smoke that wasn't really there. I would smell it at work, in the car, etc. Then I realized it was on my clothes from our fireplace. :doh:
I've been in plenty of health anxiety spirals, and yes it's good and useful to be able to see the deftness of it all, but some of these reports are out-and-out self-harm. I dunno, just find it hard to see humour there. No need for shame, and good to be able to chuckle at the silliness your HA pops in your head and recognise its irrationality, but maybe also recognition that it got to a dark place it really shouldn't, especially if someone's still not done anything to solve it. (This is a comment addressed to some other posts, not the experience quoted in the one above)
At my worst I was prodding my side for imaginary tumours until I was bruised. While I can indeed laugh at many of the silly things I've had popped in my head, I can't laugh at that. It's not shame or embarrassment, just a knowledge that was getting into self-harm territory and this thing starting to get out of hand.
MyNameIsTerry
20-01-18, 09:08
I think there is a difference between compulsions that seem extreme and self harm. For instance, the OCDer who washes in bleach until his hands are red raw. It's not the same as a self harmer feeling that need for release. The OCDer is looking to mitigate risk. But isn't the self harm about emotional release? And there is the issue of punishment. That's again different. So, they can't all be lumped together simply because there is pain involved?
There must be a difference in there somewhere. The driver being different.
Things often sound the same, such as addiction & compulsion, but aren't. An addict is different to a compulsive, one is chasing the high and the other trying to protect themselves.
I think there is a difference between compulsions that seem extreme and self harm. For instance, the OCDer who washes in bleach until his hands are red raw. It's not the same as a self harmer feeling that need for release. The OCDer is looking to mitigate risk. But isn't the self harm about emotional release? And there is the issue of punishment. That's again different. So, they can't all be lumped together simply because there is pain involved?
There must be a difference in there somewhere. The driver being different.
Things often sound the same, such as addiction & compulsion, but aren't. An addict is different to a compulsive, one is chasing the high and the other trying to protect themselves.
As always I bow to your knowledge of mental health, particularly OCD. But I'm sure you appreciate I can't see humour in people burning themselves and causing themselves pain the name of HA, even if the reason they're doing it is some ludicrous daft thought.
MyNameIsTerry
20-01-18, 09:18
As always I bow to your knowledge of mental health, particularly OCD. But I'm sure you appreciate I can't see humour in people burning themselves and causing themselves pain the name of HA, even if the reason they're doing it is some ludicrous daft thought.
Well it's a serious issue but perhaps looking back, they can. It's perhaps for the individual and if they are outside of that mindset i.e. much better, then maybe it's not such an issue? I'm sure it doesn't mean they don't understand it's a serious issue, well I would hope anyway.
The reason I think we need to be careful on self harm is there are specific disorders that include behaviours like this that aren't considered self harm e.g. skin picking or hair pulling disorders. Being a skin picker myself, I don't equate it with the kind of personal pain I've seen someone with self harm going through.
But yes, burning does sound worrying. But we need to understand whether it's a continual behaviour or a one off I think. But it should definitely be something for a doctor to be made aware of so it can be monitored.
I could easily be completely wrong, I just worry about cheapening the issue of self harm is you see what I mean? I'm not saying that anyone is either, it's just how I feel about it. Without someone who self harms providing insight, I'm wary. Maybe it's even a different self harm, so much in anxiety is when you think about it, but perhaps within anxiety boundaries as opposed to crossing over into a real self harming disorder? :shrug:
Recording my voice to see if I’m slurring
Standing on one leg and hopping to check balance
Pinching myself to see if I can feel it
Taking photos of my face to see if it looks droopy
Smiling in the mirror to check there’s no droop
Raising my eyebrows up and down to check muscle strength.
Maybe too many to list
Poo checking
Checking my eyes for signs of anaemia, over and over again.
Forcing myself to pass stools so I can check them
I'm ashamed and embarrassed by all the thing health anxiety makes me do. I just want to be normal.
I agree with 'mynameisterry' it isn't definable as self-harming in the way mental health defines it, people arent relieveing tension or punishing themselves, but it certainly does 'harm the self'. Having dealt with (as a personal tutor) a number of students who self-harm, this doesn't fit the mould. I prefer to think of it as a more extreme version of checking, but I still can't laugh at it to be honest, as I find it frightening and sad.
That's me though, and my response (similar to axolotl, and others may feel very differently, it isn't my place to censor)
HOWEVER, if others can laugh at it and that means they recognise how wrong and pointless it was to pursue that activity, AND it means that they don't follow that route again - then fine and cool. This type of laughing is a way to 'treat' their anxiety problems, as it shows that recognition of the fact it was the HA that was out of control. Laugh away. If it is still occuring, those behaviours, then get mental health asssitance.
What a garble I've written here .......as for Poo checking.....do it often I thought that was normal and everyone had a look down ? Mind, Im a lifetime IBS person too and maybe that make me check. It was exactly the question of an 'odd poo' that brought me back here some weeks ago. :blush::roflmao:
The thing is HA is treatable and you can begin to recover (if you want to) And no disrespect atall to any one on here a reply says xzy 'I just want to be normal' to me that is cry for help and would urge the poster to seek help if they have already seek it again. Too many sit on their symptoms and still go on about it 2 or more years down the line and it's sad to see. ATB
Well it's a serious issue but perhaps looking back, they can. It's perhaps for the individual and if they are outside of that mindset i.e. much better, then maybe it's not such an issue? I'm sure it doesn't mean they don't understand it's a serious issue, well I would hope anyway.
The reason I think we need to be careful on self harm is there are specific disorders that include behaviours like this that aren't considered self harm e.g. skin picking or hair pulling disorders. Being a skin picker myself, I don't equate it with the kind of personal pain I've seen someone with self harm going through.
But yes, burning does sound worrying. But we need to understand whether it's a continual behaviour or a one off I think. But it should definitely be something for a doctor to be made aware of so it can be monitored.
I could easily be completely wrong, I just worry about cheapening the issue of self harm is you see what I mean? I'm not saying that anyone is either, it's just how I feel about it. Without someone who self harms providing insight, I'm wary. Maybe it's even a different self harm, so much in anxiety is when you think about it, but perhaps within anxiety boundaries as opposed to crossing over into a real self harming disorder? :shrug:
All wise words... perhaps I should have differentiated between causing physical harm to yourself and using the term "self-harm" which has a particular meaning to it which probably doesn't (in most cases) apply here.
Yeah, I agree with you, Terry. That's not to say it isn't serious if somebody is harming themselves from a compulsion, but the reason for the behavior is different. That's not to mean it isn't serious.
BigBoy, I love that you are so supportive and want people to get better. I will say I would avoid putting a time frame on it. I've had HA since I was a kid. Have I gotten "better?" Well, yes, with a lot of work, but it still happens sometimes for me. I think it's more of a chronic maintenance at this point. My "better" includes an acceptance of who I am and how to cope with it in a healthy way.
Is it sad to see? Well yeah of course, but it's like any chronic mental health condition that waxes and wanes over time. There are people here who have battled with panic disorder for years and years. Some who have depression that comes and goes. I think in this setting we just don't see people as often when they are in a "good" period because they go live their lives. I know I don't post as often when I am doing better vs when I am doing worse. But the nature of HA can push people to express that here in a way that can be hard to see for others, such as posting for reassurance a lot. Does that make sense?
Yes yes yes to the above post!
Thats how I see my HA issues, and they are quite minor at the moment. I've had periods of many years with no problems at all (decades actually), then in a period of intense anxiety the HA comes out sometimes just for a day and sometimes for longer. I've had treatment, many years ago and a number of times, I have the tools to deal with it and very quickly I will.....BUT......I accept that it is a symptom of how I respond to high amounts of stress.
I'm currently going through an HA episode as a response to a continuing high level of stress in my life so I very much agree with your post, Carys and also with swgrl09's very insightful comments..I had got to the stage where I could keep my HA on a relatively even keel but add in other ingredients and the physical pain starts and it's hard to keep rational let alone joke about it. Therapy is always helpful but there's a lot more to it than that and life circumstances play a very significant part in keeping HA under control in my opinion.
Yeah, I agree with you, Terry. That's not to say it isn't serious if somebody is harming themselves from a compulsion, but the reason for the behavior is different. That's not to mean it isn't serious.
BigBoy, I love that you are so supportive and want people to get better. I will say I would avoid putting a time frame on it. I've had HA since I was a kid. Have I gotten "better?" Well, yes, with a lot of work, but it still happens sometimes for me. I think it's more of a chronic maintenance at this point. My "better" includes an acceptance of who I am and how to cope with it in a healthy way.
Is it sad to see? Well yeah of course, but it's like any chronic mental health condition that waxes and wanes over time. There are people here who have battled with panic disorder for years and years. Some who have depression that comes and goes. I think in this setting we just don't see people as often when they are in a "good" period because they go live their lives. I know I don't post as often when I am doing better vs when I am doing worse. But the nature of HA can push people to express that here in a way that can be hard to see for others, such as posting for reassurance a lot. Does that make sense? Yes I get that time frame well no not really, it's not as though I have said by next week you will recover but think many on here possibly should make steps to get the help ball rolling at least :) and thank you for your kind words :) Yes agree and actually that's the best time to post your success stories when you are managing to move forward these sort of posts are beneficial to those still stuck down the rabbit hole if that makes sense :yesyes: And yes we all need reassurance from time to time but when it becomes a consistant thing then in my book it's counter productive and actually doesn't help! ATB
Yes I get that time frame well no not really, it's not as though I have said by next week you will recover but think many on here possibly should make steps to get the help ball rolling at least :) and thank you for your kind words :) Yes agree and actually that's the best time to post your success stories when you are managing to move forward these sort of posts are beneficial to those still stuck down the rabbit hole if that makes sense :yesyes: And yes we all need reassurance from time to time but when it becomes a consistant thing then in my book it's counter productive and actually doesn't help! ATB
I definitely agree with you! We do need more success stories and more people posting on those stories so that they keep bumping up on the list of "active topics" too!
So a challenge to those who posted on those strange things you have you have done in re your HA condition are you currently getting help (professionally) are you now seeking to get help or are you on the fence thinking my HA will get better on it's own? Be interested in any answers! TIA :) ATB
I don't think some of these things are unusual... I think it's only a problem when it's obsessive.
Checking your private bits every so often is not a bad thing.
Poo checking too, not a bad thing if you're prone to IBS. Maybe fishing it out the toilet is crossing a line though? Ha.
I don't touch handles on the bus or the tube. Minimises my chance of catching viruses. Might be an anxious thing?
I wear my hood up in places I'm at risk of bumping into people I don't want to see. Hoping it will camouflage me...
Probably a load of other minor things that I'm not even aware I do. Sort of in a grey area of caution/anxiety - those things might well help a little.
I don't think some of these things are unusual... I think it's only a problem when it's obsessive.
Checking your private bits every so often is not a bad thing.
Poo checking too, not a bad thing if you're prone to IBS. Maybe fishing it out the toilet is crossing a line though? Ha.
I don't touch handles on the bus or the tube. Minimises my chance of catching viruses. Might be an anxious thing?
I wear my hood up in places I'm at risk of bumping into people I don't want to see. Hoping it will camouflage me...
Probably a load of other minor things that I'm not even aware I do. Sort of in a grey area of caution/anxiety - those things might well help a little.
That's true! And I know that because of my HA "reputation," sometimes I get an eye roll when I do what I think are normal and wise precautions ... for example I am in my third trimester, the flu is everywhere, the shot isn't that effective, and my sister has been sick. She wants to go out to dinner and I said "No thank you." But I am getting judged as being "Crazy" when I think that's just being smart.
I also use hand sanitizer a lot more now that I'm pregnant than I did before, but I don't think that's too problematic...
I think the greatest gift is being able to laugh at ones self. For me, being able to laugh about it is like a comedic scene in a horror movie. It’s meant to cut the tension. It’s healthy to get some perspective and be able to say, “man, this HA stuff is pretty ridiculous.” When I laugh about it, it helps me to see how silly it all is, allows me to heal a bit and let go of the fears that seemed so dire to me when I’m in the clutches of anxiety.
Walking around with my arm in a sling when there was nothing wrong with it is right up there as one of my craziest moments. : Another is my certainty that I had cancer in my thumb, even my psych cracked a smile at that one lol
Catherine S
21-01-18, 15:42
Another is my certainty that I had cancer in my thumb, even my psych cracked a smile at that one lol
:D x
Every morning I have to look for fresh wrinkles on my face and to see if the thing is still in my eye (don't ask!)
Look in my bag to see if my mobile phone is there, even if I new I had put it there the night before.
Check my body and legs for unexplained bruises. All Ok.as usual.
Don't know which is worse HA or mild OCD:doh:
@swgrl09 so exciting about the baby!!!
I don't see my friends if they are sick. I get ill easily. People respect that now that I have a namable illness.
But I reckon in general, infectious people ought to stay away from others. You can't know if someone at work or whatever is going to get ill from you. It's respectful to stay at home, for the benefit of others. There's a culture of pride in turning up to work even when you're ill, and then you make other people ill. Not ok.
Thanks, Lior! You're absolutely right. People show up feeling terribly and then it travels through the office. We have paid sick days for a reason!
Last month when my 3 year old got the flu, I went to home depot and bought a pack of face masks and a box of latex gloves.. I walked around the house for 3 days wearing that mask and gloves, 24 hours a day even during sleep... Ended up being uncomfortable for 3 days (it was hot with that mask on) and it was all for nothing cause on the 4th morning when I got up, I felt like I had been run over by a truck... I had the flu :(
Docterpepper
23-01-18, 23:30
I got caught by a friend looking at videos of women sexually sticking out their tongues ( I think it is a fetish for some) to compare my tongue colour to theirs. I didn't know if the truth or the lie was more embarrassing.
I got caught by a friend looking at videos of women sexually sticking out their tongues ( I think it is a fetish for some) to compare my tongue colour to theirs. I didn't know if the truth or the lie was more embarrassing.
And you win :D
tryingtosurvive1
24-01-18, 04:30
I got caught by a friend looking at videos of women sexually sticking out their tongues ( I think it is a fetish for some) to compare my tongue colour to theirs. I didn't know if the truth or the lie was more embarrassing.
ok, this is funny. "no i don't have tongue fetish, just a tongue fixation . . . I mean, my tongue . . . I mean, oh never mind"
budgie1979
24-01-18, 17:45
So a challenge to those who posted on those strange things you have you have done in re your HA condition are you currently getting help (professionally) are you now seeking to get help or are you on the fence thinking my HA will get better on it's own? Be interested in any answers! TIA :) ATB
Here is my answer: yes, I am getting professional help. I have been in CBT for 7 years, and have done an intensive outpatient program focused on HA. While I have periods of relative well-being, I am far from cured and currently in the middle of a very bad HA period that built up slowly over the course of about a year, made worse by having some actual medical issues (though nothing life threatening) during that time. I just last week started on Prozac and switched to a new therapist, so hoping those changes help. But I really don't think I'll ever be "cured" (and that aligns with what my previous therapist told me--you can learn to manage the anxiety, but you may never get to a point where you don't have the thoughts). Right now, I would just like to get back to being able to eat properly, exercise, sleep through the night, and enjoy life without these obsessive thoughts lurking in the back of my mind.
Clydesdale Epona
24-01-18, 17:56
I did used to jump around a lot to see if the pains I had would worsen from movement.
I always used to lie down when I got a little dizzy in case of passing out which resulted in me laying in many places including a lift.
There are lots of things I used to do that made no sense but I have since kicked(most) of them x
---------- Post added at 17:56 ---------- Previous post was at 17:51 ----------
Also, i myself have since taken a break from getting professional help as i weren't really getting anywhere.
I've had one bout of short term CBT myself as the place had shut down and that is all i have been able to get.
I know i probably just need to try harder but it gets tiring sometimes x
poo checking
constantly flexing my toes to see if my calves hurt, heard this is one way to tell if you have a blood clot,
Constantly going over symptoms and doing a check list in my head if I have any of them or not, of whatever illness or whatever I think I may have.
paranoid-viking
05-05-18, 19:47
We've had threads just like this and the responses were "it's good to laugh at your anxiety" by many. I think we need to look beyond who raised the thread here. Perhaps not to everyone's tastes but if it helps some, fair play.
Getting help is a definite for all of us on NMP.
True. Some people do get offended by self irony. Some of those offended are people offended on our behalf. I have seen that in here too.
Here's a funny one - I spent three years (!) unable to eat with silverware in front of people. Had to eat handheld foods.
It started when I was overexcited eating with an old friend and my hand shook while eating soup. After that, I was fine eating with silverware on my own, but anytime people were watching me my hands would shake.
Eventually I just took baby steps and did things like brace my wrist against the table when I ate, sit places where I felt less watched, etc. and now I can eat everything normally. But geez, who knows where that one came from, or why it lasted so long.
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