Eerie
22-01-18, 12:35
Hello. I think I have been suffering from anxiety my entire life, but it did not get that bad until last year. I am a 23 old female. I haven't been on this forum for a while now as I was doing better with my health anxiety related to MS, I could say I overcame it with the help of therapy. A month later I found myself consumed with OCD specific fears. I had sexual and then violent intrusive thoughts. All was mild, I could say, my compulsions are mental, such as asking myself Would i really do it? Am I a bad person?
For about two months now I have been feeling worse. I read in the media about the crime of a schizophrenic woman. As a friend was giving me details about it, I had a panic attack with really bad derealisation. Then I started reproducing sirens in my head (I live near an ambulance station). I can't help but think I am going crazy. I have strange thoughts especially when under pressure. I spend so much time researching psychosis and looking for signs of it in myself. I am hyper aware of everything. I just wanna feel normal again but that seems impossible. I see my therapist weekly and has assured me 3 times I was not psychotic but the fear stays with me. She said I had really bad GAD with a touch of OCD and social anxiety. I sometimes see people on the street who look strange and wonder if they are real. I also started getting hypnagogic hallucinations, they are terrible. I also get racing thoughts and songs in my head. Have any of you experienced something similar? How do you get rid of it? I cannot stop thinking about it. When I go to therapy, I feel better for 2-3 days then it comes back again. I am not on medication and do not want to be. I am taking some valerian and passiflora supplements, along with magnesium but that s it. I also work full time and want to be able to concentrate though lately I haven't been so productive.
Thank you all for any replies.
For about two months now I have been feeling worse. I read in the media about the crime of a schizophrenic woman. As a friend was giving me details about it, I had a panic attack with really bad derealisation. Then I started reproducing sirens in my head (I live near an ambulance station). I can't help but think I am going crazy. I have strange thoughts especially when under pressure. I spend so much time researching psychosis and looking for signs of it in myself. I am hyper aware of everything. I just wanna feel normal again but that seems impossible. I see my therapist weekly and has assured me 3 times I was not psychotic but the fear stays with me. She said I had really bad GAD with a touch of OCD and social anxiety. I sometimes see people on the street who look strange and wonder if they are real. I also started getting hypnagogic hallucinations, they are terrible. I also get racing thoughts and songs in my head. Have any of you experienced something similar? How do you get rid of it? I cannot stop thinking about it. When I go to therapy, I feel better for 2-3 days then it comes back again. I am not on medication and do not want to be. I am taking some valerian and passiflora supplements, along with magnesium but that s it. I also work full time and want to be able to concentrate though lately I haven't been so productive.
Thank you all for any replies.