celestial
30-06-07, 23:40
Hi all
Where to start? I've been battling anxiety all my life that's manifested in various ways, starting with phobias from the age of around 8 and at its worst, causing me severe panic attacks and a lot of anxiety in certain situations to the point that I was afraid to go out. Thankfully, at this point, I managed to get cognative behavioral therapy on the NHS, which up to a point was very helpful.
Now, I'm nowhere near as bad as I have been, but I fear I might be heading that way. I live in London and the bomb scares that happened on friday and today have sent my anxiety skyward. Right now, I'm afraid I might lose my job (which I love, and can quite honestly say it 'keeps me sane') because I had a panic attack on friday while all this was kicking off and failed to attend a meeting as a result. I am even more scard I might lose my boyfriend, the absolute love of my life, because of my fears. Travelling by tube is a complete impossibility for me (this fear started when I was 8) and I am forever making him late for things as a result as we have togo everyhwere by bus.
Right now, I'm sitting at home, alone, because I couldn't get to a party he wanted me to come to as the trains were cancelled and the only other route was by tube. So, he was made late and decided in the end to go alone. It breaks my heart to have to mess up his life as well as my own like this.
Anyway, that's where I am right now. Desparate to hang on to the two things that matter most in my life and terrified that my problems will take them away from me. *sigh* :weep:
Where to start? I've been battling anxiety all my life that's manifested in various ways, starting with phobias from the age of around 8 and at its worst, causing me severe panic attacks and a lot of anxiety in certain situations to the point that I was afraid to go out. Thankfully, at this point, I managed to get cognative behavioral therapy on the NHS, which up to a point was very helpful.
Now, I'm nowhere near as bad as I have been, but I fear I might be heading that way. I live in London and the bomb scares that happened on friday and today have sent my anxiety skyward. Right now, I'm afraid I might lose my job (which I love, and can quite honestly say it 'keeps me sane') because I had a panic attack on friday while all this was kicking off and failed to attend a meeting as a result. I am even more scard I might lose my boyfriend, the absolute love of my life, because of my fears. Travelling by tube is a complete impossibility for me (this fear started when I was 8) and I am forever making him late for things as a result as we have togo everyhwere by bus.
Right now, I'm sitting at home, alone, because I couldn't get to a party he wanted me to come to as the trains were cancelled and the only other route was by tube. So, he was made late and decided in the end to go alone. It breaks my heart to have to mess up his life as well as my own like this.
Anyway, that's where I am right now. Desparate to hang on to the two things that matter most in my life and terrified that my problems will take them away from me. *sigh* :weep: