I'm new (and not in a good way)

[celestial]

Hi all

Where to start? I've been battling anxiety all my life that's manifested in various ways, starting with phobias from the age of around 8 and at its worst, causing me severe panic attacks and a lot of anxiety in certain situations to the point that I was afraid to go out. Thankfully, at this point, I managed to get cognative behavioral therapy on the NHS, which up to a point was very helpful.

Now, I'm nowhere near as bad as I have been, but I fear I might be heading that way. I live in London and the bomb scares that happened on friday and today have sent my anxiety skyward. Right now, I'm afraid I might lose my job (which I love, and can quite honestly say it 'keeps me sane') because I had a panic attack on friday while all this was kicking off and failed to attend a meeting as a result. I am even more scard I might lose my boyfriend, the absolute love of my life, because of my fears. Travelling by tube is a complete impossibility for me (this fear started when I was 8) and I am forever making him late for things as a result as we have togo everyhwere by bus.

Right now, I'm sitting at home, alone, because I couldn't get to a party he wanted me to come to as the trains were cancelled and the only other route was by tube. So, he was made late and decided in the end to go alone. It breaks my heart to have to mess up his life as well as my own like this.

Anyway, that's where I am right now. Desparate to hang on to the two things that matter most in my life and terrified that my problems will take them away from me. *sigh* :weep:

[domino]

:hugs:and:welcome:to you, sorry just came across your thread otherwise would have replied earlier, my name is lorraine and i have been with no more panic since last oct. you are not alone her they will always be someone her e to chat with , i,m up at this hour as i cannot sleep lots of things going on in my head right now. i must admitt that i could not live in london, all that rushing around. I do understand how you are feeling ,i am so scared at hearing of these bombs going off , my life is on hold as i,m to frighten to do alot of things as the panic will set in and take over.Your boyfriend knows of your anxiety i take it, what does he say about it,my husband is so good with me i would be totally lost without him, he,s always there for me, but at the end of the day it,s me that has to take control of my life.and at this moment in time i,m stuggling. any way you not alone ,and it,s good to have you here.:hugs:

[Lindalou64]

Hello Celestial,
Welcome,I hope you can find peace in ya life, have you ever tried and talked with your b/f ...to make him understand whats going on with you and its real maybe he can take a look at this site, just try and stay positive on your job,Im sure if they like your work there is no need to let you go....I wish you the best.take care....Linda

[groovygranny]

Hello Celestial :welcome:to you!

Glad you found us - hope you will be too :)

Talk to your boyfriend - no picnic I know. I had to keep so much inside me throughout my life and it's not good for anyone to have to do that. Fear of the outcome is what I suppose prevents us from opening up and being downright honest with people - loved ones or otherwise.

But I'm a firm believer in 'it's better out than in' . By doing that both you and your boyfriend will have the opportunity to tackle this together.

The same with your job. I can only speak from personal experience, but I was up front and honest with my boss because I feared losing my job,the same as you. He was so understanding and was glad I had been honest - this led to my working conditions being greatly improved!

Pleased to meet you by the way !!!

:flowers:

[manmoor]

Hi Celestial,

A big warm welcome to you. xx

[Nibbles]

Hi Celestial and :welcome:

I had a lot of problems going to work earlier this year but I explained the situation to my boss who was really understanding and helpful. If you have a trusted colleague I'd recommend mentioning it to them so you feel there's some support for you.

It sounds like you've been with your boyfriend for some time and he's still here because he cares about you. Joining NMP shows you're determined to overcome your problems and I'm sure you will. If you haven't already I agree with the others that being open with your boyfriend would be really helpful.

In your introduction you mentioned several things you're having trouble with. When I had CBT I was told to pick one problem to concentrate on and ignore the others until you've solved it. That way the anxiety isn't a huge overwhelming thing. Next break up the problem into small steps which you feel are achievable and work towards the eventual goal. So if you decided to work on travelling by tube your first step could be going down to the platform for 5 minutes. The next step could be travelling for one stop and so on. The important thing is that each step causes some anxiety but is achievable for you. It's also to repeat each step regularly until you feel comfortable with it before moving on.

Lorraine have some hugs, I hope you feel better soon.


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Take care,

[lorrie]

hi everyone!!

Im new

[Pink Princess]

hi and welcome to the site, you will find a lot of good advice and support here and make many friends along the way. hope to talk soon, take kare xxxxxx

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Celestial,

Welcome to NMP. There are many here who are suffering with agoraphobia. You will get tons of great advice and support.

Hi Lorrie,

A great welcome to you too.

Laura

[nomorepanic]

Hi Celestial and Lorrie

Welcome aboard and lovely to see you here.

Hope we can be of some help and you meet some fab new friends along the way.