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Bl4ze
25-01-18, 05:01
Hi guys I'm new here,
I have a red patch in the corner of my mouth, not sure if its Erythroplakia or not, but I'm very very very scared about what it is and what it might develop into. I noticed it two days ago but I'm not sure how long it's been here.

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Can someone please help?? I need help soooo bad

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No help?????

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Please?

nomorepanic
25-01-18, 12:40
I assume you have been googling as I have no idea what Erythroplakia is.

If you are worried please see a doctor as we can't give medical advice or diagnose on here.

Bl4ze
25-01-18, 14:30
Ok, I just want to know if it’s serious???????!!!!! Apparently it can develop into mouth cancer if left untreated

Bl4ze
25-01-18, 19:08
Help please? :scared15:

Fishmanpa
25-01-18, 19:12
No one here can tell you that. I don't even know what it is! :shrug:

While I'm not a fan of paid reassurance, perhaps a doctor would be the best bet.

Positive thoughts

Carys
25-01-18, 19:14
Hiyer,

I don't know what this condition is either I'm afraid, not being a medic and this not being a medical site. Sorry I can't help, I can see how anxious you are about it, but seeing a GP would probably be the best thing to do. :)

Bl4ze
25-01-18, 19:16
Yes I know but my parents won’t let me because I’ve had anxiety scares before and they turned out to be normal and they think it’s just some “oral sore” or something but I’m sorry for using google but everything says it’s Erythroplakia and it can be precancerous so I’m scared

Carys
25-01-18, 19:37
So, where is this 'oral sore' ? Right inside your mouth ? WHat makes you think its a precursor to cancer?

Well, yeah, google would come up with that wouldn't it....nobody ever sees the simple and easy,minor health conditions it could be...they jump to the most unlikely.

Bl4ze
25-01-18, 19:52
Yea, there’s just nothing that it really could be other than that to be honest

Tiff111
25-01-18, 20:29
How long have you had it? Is it accompanied by any other symptoms? Do you smoke? You seem quite young as you mentioned your parents. I think mouth cancer in someone young would be pretty rare. I get sore patches and ulcers in my mouth all the time, especially when I’m run down x

Bl4ze
25-01-18, 20:43
Yea I’m not sure if I have any other symptoms and I don’t have the risk factors either but this red patch I have (not sue how long I had it, noticed it two days ago) seems to be exactly the same as Erythroplakia, which is like a precancerous lesion so I’m scared and also it’s painless

Carys
25-01-18, 20:45
Well, of course there are lots of other things it could be....you teeth rubbing on the inside of your mouth....a patch you burnt with some hot food....an area where you had an ulcer....braces that rub.....theres any number of things it could be.

Bl4ze
25-01-18, 20:47
Thank you for the advice Carys

Carys
25-01-18, 20:48
You mentioned you 'only noticed it'....it could be something that is always there or has been there for a long time. I think this is extraordinarily unlikely, given that you are so young and have no risk factors.
Have your parents had a look at it?

Bl4ze
25-01-18, 20:49
It’s just weird that I would get this since literally 99% of people who get this are like smokers or tobacco users and I don’t know what would cause it other than cancer maybe

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Yes my parents have seen it and they pretty much completely ignore me

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They won’t take me to the dr or dentist either :weep:

Carys
25-01-18, 20:50
OK, look, you've just said it there 99% of people who get this are smokers. You aren't a smoker. So, isn't the most likely thing that this simply isn't what you think it is. To the untrained eye one red patch can look very much like another red patch.

Do you mind me asking your age?

Bl4ze
25-01-18, 20:57
13

Carys
25-01-18, 21:19
The incident of Oral cancer in your age group is apparently for all practical purposes zero. Your parents have taken a look and dismissed it as nothing to be concerned about, therefore as your parents want you to be healthy, happy and well-cared for they wouldn't surely say it was nothing if it was something.

Bl4ze
25-01-18, 21:40
Alas, Dr Google suggests otherwise:scared15:

Fishmanpa
25-01-18, 21:50
13

I'm an oral cancer survivor. You can put OC out of your mind "." (period)

Positive thoughts

Bl4ze
25-01-18, 21:51
Ok thank you guys

Carys
25-01-18, 21:56
Dr Google lies. I've been on the cancer research website, and looked at an interactive graph of incidents of oral cancer diagnosed by age per 100,000 head the population. Age 10-14, no oral cancer cases diagnosed in either male or female. Age 15-19, no oral cancer cases diagnosed in males and 1 in a female. You need to stop obsessing about oral cancer, forget it, whatever this red mark is in your mouth....its not that.

Bl4ze
26-01-18, 02:11
Ok I really hope so

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By any chance do any of u know what Erythroplakia is?????? That’s what I might have

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Anyone??

Carys
26-01-18, 07:26
By any chance do any of u know what Erythroplakia is?????? That’s what I might have

You are still repeating that you might have it. Thats not the right way to deal with this HA problem.

Bl4ze
26-01-18, 15:26
But it doesn’t say that there’s anything else like this. The only thing that’s a red patch and feels velvety like mine is erythoplakia and normally for symptoms there a number of causes some way more probable than others but erythroplakia there’s only one!!! OC :scared15: I don’t know what else I could have since there’s nothing else like it!!!

Carys
26-01-18, 15:30
So, it couldn't just be a patch that has been rubbing where teeth are or got burnt or or or ?

You mentioned your other health anxiety problems in the past, what were the things that concerned you then?

Bl4ze
26-01-18, 15:42
Leukemia you know, the usual. But it’s never been like this. This I’m almost convinced is OC and I’ve just given up

MyNameIsTerry
26-01-18, 15:42
It's only defined as that when no other reason can be found to categorise it otherwise.

Commonly it's damage from food, burns, biting (anxiety sufferers grind, I used to do it only in my sleep and it was dentist who worked it out from what he could see in my teeth & jaw muscles as well as symptoms of tooth ache, headaches, trouble fully closing & opening my teeth, etc), etc and until they've ruled everything out it's not what you fear.

Can you honestly say you haven't done something in your sleep? Your dentist may recognise signs you have, as mine did for my jaw pain.

And given the types of causes it's also possible that a dentist or GP may even biopsy to rule out as they can't be sure a patient hasn't forgotten or not realised something that could have caused it even after careful questioning. They may be more careful if they knew the patient was a long time smoker in middle age yet it could still turn out to be nothing due to bring unable to establish a root cause.

Bl4ze
26-01-18, 16:10
Oh, the thing that scares me the most is that I have no risk factors and some things say that people with no risk factors have a higher chance that it’s OC

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Plz help

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I’m also scared because if you look up red patch in mouth everything says OC symptoms :scared15:

Carys
26-01-18, 16:10
Hi Bl4ze,

You are 13 years old, the statistics show that nobody, literally, gets oral cancer at that age. Why is this different to your previous fears...you were convinced then presumably and are convinced now?

So, you showed your parents, what did they think this red patch was, did they give you any idea?

I honestly think that your parents should take you to the doctor, but not for the red patch, I think that having so much health anxiety at such an early age is something that really needs dealing with now. Have they, or your gp suggested any help in the past ?

"some things say that people with no risk factors have a higher chance that it’s OC"

Well, that is just complete rubbish to be honest. If they are called risk factors, and scientific connections have been made, otherwise why would they be called risk factors???

Bl4ze
26-01-18, 16:13
Ok this is different because the other things were just like a maybe because numerous things can cause them but this? This is 100x worse than I’ve ever had I’m almost convinced it’s you know what. My parents didn’t really care much I guess they just say it’s some random “oral sore”

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Ok yea I guess they’re just frustrated because so many others have been false alarms i guess

Carys
26-01-18, 16:13
OK, when is your next dental visit?

Bl4ze
26-01-18, 16:17
I don’t know

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Also, I just had a blood done for leukemia and it was clear and I was SO HAPPY and then this comes and ruins my life

Carys
26-01-18, 16:18
Dentist check for that sort of thing, do you go regularly?

Bl4ze
26-01-18, 16:18
I really just wanna enjoy my life but I don’t know if I’m gonna die or something

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Yes I went for the dentist maybe last August?

Carys
26-01-18, 16:21
Bl4ze, this isn't ruining your life, your fear is doing that right now. If it wasn't this red patch, I think it would be something else. This blood test that was done, was it done to reassure you?

Bl4ze
26-01-18, 16:23
Yea

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And also to check some their things but everything was normal

Carys
26-01-18, 16:23
How many other illness or health fears would you say have occurred and over what period of time?

The thing is you see, and I'm not trying to be rude, but realistic. We can help with health anxiety (that is the forum you are on), but we can't arrange hospital or doctor appointments, or dental appointments and can't tell you what the red patch is in your mouth. I can tell you multiple times (which I have) that I don't believe it possible, that nobody at your age gets oral cancer but you aren't believing it. Have you considered finding someone responsible at your school for counselling or another trusted adult to tell about this fear?

Bl4ze
26-01-18, 16:28
Well pretty much just leakemia and that for like four months

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Ok yes I know but what else is this then??? I looked at oral cancer stats and it said some people ages 6-13 have gotten it apparently

Carys
26-01-18, 16:30
So, you had the all clear from the leukaemia and then 'this appeared'. That is typical health anxiety. You move from one thing to another, once one is resolved.

You did say earlier that this had happened many times, and your parents had got fed up of the 'false alarms', so I suspect there might be more things than just the leukaemia fear.

I really think you need to get some help, and I suggested earlier that confiding in an adult (I don't know how the US school system is set up) at school, who is responsible for well-being might be a good place to start. Tell them about your 'sympton' and how distressed it is making you.

Bl4ze
26-01-18, 16:39
No to be honest it was just multiple false alarms about the leukemia fear

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But this seems VERY REAL AND SCARY

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And also my main problem at the start was lymph nodes

Carys
26-01-18, 16:45
So, my idea about getting in contact with someone at school who is reponsible for your emotional well-being?

Bl4ze
26-01-18, 17:18
I don’t know..... I’m not sure if there is anyone

Carys
26-01-18, 17:24
Maybe a US user might have a better idea of the system, I'll ask.

Bl4ze
26-01-18, 17:27
I just want to know do you think I have OC because if this red patch??

Carys
26-01-18, 17:33
I've said NO many times

Fishmanpa
26-01-18, 17:38
Bl4ze listen.

I told you I'm a Head and Neck cancer survivor. You're 13 years old. The chances this is OC are 0%. Think about it. You would make history and be written up in medical journals if that were the case and it isn't.

I have children older than you. My daughter suffers from depression and anxiety. She came to me and told me what was going on. I, along with her mother made sure she got the real life professional help she needed. She worked hard, went to therapy, takes meds and now she's doing great! She has her moments but through professional real life help, she knows how to manage it.

Please, I urge you to show your parents, a trusted adult or a school counselor this thread and tell them how sick you are with worry and need help. You're not going to get the help you need by words on a screen.

Positive thoughts

Bl4ze
26-01-18, 18:16
Ok. Also, my parents said if it’s not gone in a week they might take me to the GP or dentist

Fishmanpa
26-01-18, 18:20
Ok. Also, my parents said if it’s not gone in a week they might take me to the GP or dentist

:yesyes: There ya go! Now go find something distract yourself. Being in here you're doing nothing but feeding your dragon.

Positive thoughts

Carys
26-01-18, 18:24
Good! That's very good news isn't it.

Bigboyuk
26-01-18, 19:14
Ok. Also, my parents said if it’s not gone in a week they might take me to the GP or dentist Well yes but seriously if after a week its no better you have very right to get it looked at you parents should back you up on this even though its not life threatning Take care ATB

Bl4ze
27-01-18, 00:00
Thank you guys

I hope it’s not OC

Do you guys think if it’s not gone the dentist will have to do a biopsy?

also, it seems bigger and worse now and sometimes in the mornings its lighter and better, and its kind of big too

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Is that supposed to be normal?

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https://imgur.com/DHb0oOj Heres a pic

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and it stretches back farther than that also

nomorepanic
27-01-18, 00:49
I can't even see a red patch

MyNameIsTerry
27-01-18, 01:51
I think you need to accept you have the option of getting it assessed if it continues but that's where you need to try to stop thinking further ahead. The dentist will only biopsy if he/she thinks it's needed and with what you are asking about they can try to rule it out via questioning of the patient or what they see in your mouth (they may see you are grinding or clenching even if you don't realise it and some people do bite their cheeks doing this...we have had many threads about all that).

But as Carys has been saying, no matter what the outcome you need to talk about your mental health. Having fears like this are very unlikely to go on their own so your parents need to consider seeking help. The chances of stopping your anxiety getting more entrenched later in life are best now.

Bl4ze
27-01-18, 04:51
Ok I’m just scared about this

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Also if I was biting my cheek would I get a huge red patch like this?

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some more pics https://imgur.com/pQz69UB
https://imgur.com/CmYHQ89

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You see how in one its way brighter?? The patch acts weird sometimes

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???

MyNameIsTerry
27-01-18, 05:06
One may be a little redder but gums do that, some days they are redder than others. It could just be an area you have bitten at some point.

It's possible to have a large area from a bite.

Obviously it's one for a GP/dentist though.

This site is pretty slow and it's mostly UK members so it can be a little slow at times like this (it's 5am here).

Bl4ze
27-01-18, 05:07
oh ok thanks terry

MyNameIsTerry
27-01-18, 05:10
That's ok.

Are you under any pressures in your life? Maybe school, peer pressure issues, sexuality, etc? All these can push up anxiety levels and make these problems seem much harder so addressing such pressures are very useful and these are areas your parents can help with.

Look towards healthy activities and not too much time to sit thinking at times like this. Distractions can help.

Carys
27-01-18, 08:57
Hiyer, I've looked at the images....from what I can work out those patches are to the rear of your mouth, upper set of teeeth, next to the molars and kind of on the outside, on the cheek tissue. So, you could push then from the outside by touching your cheek and feeling your teeth? Wow this is hard to explain. I know what I mean.
Right, I have had a blimmin torch out staring in my mouth!!!!! I have the same , and I am presuming it is simply from the molars rubbing against the inside cheek surface. Actually, in addition I have a kind of hard fold skin bit and that area feels a bit grainy, but there we go I'm hugely older than you and my body has had more wear and tear lol See, I'm of the age where it could be Oral Cancer,and I can now sit back and ignore what I've seen because I reckon its something that has always been there and I have just noticed it. I would put money on this being the same for you....its just something you've noticed and has always been there.

Do you use chewing gum and chew a lot? Do you grind or clench your teeth?

OK, I've said, I'm no medic.....but I'm telling you to sit back now and wait for a week.....I wouldn't mind betting even if it hasn't gone that the dentist says there is nothing at all to be concerned about. By the way, I've had a lot of recent dental work and my routine check up, and there was nothing mentioned.

As Terry said, you need the tools to be able to deal with your HA, no matter what.

MyNameIsTerry
27-01-18, 09:09
Carys, please put that torch away before your visit the IBS board, commitment to help people can go too far (especially if it's one of those snake light things :blush:) :winks::biggrin:

To be honest, I've got marks like that on my tongue and probably further back too. The sort of dented patch, I've had something like that for over 20 years now.

Carys
27-01-18, 09:25
I tell you what else.....when I was younger I used to kind of 'chew' the inside of my cheek tissue. (by younger I mean a teenager) Not to the point of doing damage and hurting, but kind of a nervous movement habit. Have you looked at the other side, what does that look like ?

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OOo Terry, that HAS made me laugh!!!!...torch away (and the string I was going to use to dangle the phone camera down my throat for those oesophagus cancer thread) :roflmao:I was going to post the picture of my cheek inside, but you know what I stopped at that point, despite that fact that I was well chuffed with how great they looked after recent dental work.

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You know what Bl4ze honey, you make sure that you let us know the outcome of this....and if you do get it checked what the dentist says it is. Why is Terry up answering at 5aM? Thats the middle of the night practically.

We are happy to carry on chatting away on this thread.....but lets move on from OC and tell us about life in US right now....I'm interested to hear more about things as have never visited.

MyNameIsTerry
27-01-18, 10:03
String as well?!!! Make sure you don't get it stuck or it will be getting added to the strange things seen in A&E retrieved from places in the body :whistles::ohmy:

This isn't TOWIE, I'm not sure we're ready for pics of enhanced orifices yet :blush::roflmao: I always think these mouth shots look a bit odd zoomed in.

My routine was all over the place and very late (GAD & OCD issues about time, changes in the day, etc it's been one of my core issues for years and came back with avengeance with the relapse), it's much better now but I'm on & off at some odd times!

Carys
27-01-18, 16:12
Oh well, at least it means you end up doing the 'night shift' here. Is that really the sort of thing they show on TOWIE (never seen it )?

Bl4ze
27-01-18, 17:37
So.... Carys are u saying you have the same thing as me? The other cheek looks normal as does the rest of my mouth

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?

Fishmanpa
27-01-18, 17:42
Reassurance isn't helping here at all! You're just sitting there feeding your dragon! Please speak to your parents about this. Show them the thread. You're a 13yo child that needs help!

Positive thoughts

Bl4ze
27-01-18, 17:46
Help for HA or the patch?

Bigboyuk
27-01-18, 17:55
Help for HA or the patch? Your HA :) ATB

Carys
27-01-18, 18:12
Yep :yesyes:

Bl4ze
27-01-18, 18:42
yes but carys do you have the same thing as me?

Fishmanpa
27-01-18, 18:45
Reassurance isn't helping here at all! You're just sitting there feeding your dragon! Please speak to your parents about this. Show them the thread. You're a 13yo child that needs help!

Positive thoughts

Carys
27-01-18, 19:06
HI Bl4ze,

Just read back the post I made, that you are referring to. I honestly can't add any more to what I've said. I'm not trying to be mean to you, trust me, but I think you are so upset right now and so desperate about this mouth red patch that your parents need to get you some real support. Are they aware how bad your HA is at the moment ? Have you really spoken to them (not about the red patch, but what is underlying the red patch)? Do they know you are, for example, on this forum ?

Bl4ze
27-01-18, 19:07
No I didn't understand your post, I mean did u say that you have the red patch too in your post??

Carys
27-01-18, 19:15
Right, I have had a blimmin torch out staring in my mouth!!!!! I have the same , and I am presuming it is simply from the molars rubbing against the inside cheek surface.
I tell you what else.....when I was younger I used to kind of 'chew' the inside of my cheek tissue. (by younger I mean a teenager) Not to the point of doing damage and hurting, but kind of a nervous movement habit.I have copied and pasted from that thread. I don't think ultimately it will reassure you for long, if at all, though Bl4ze, as that is the nature of this HA problem. If you were going to feel better about this red patch, you would already by now.

You really must discuss this with your parents, you need some support right now with your anxiety level.

Bl4ze
27-01-18, 19:25
Ok I feel like I’ll take care my of the HA once and IF this patch thing is nothing or clears up by itself because right now it shows NO SIGN of getting better and I found it on Monday it’s almost been a week so yes I’ll try to get help with the HA but I need this to clear up so I can be happy and fix the other problems like HA because I keep worrying about this

Bl4ze
27-01-18, 20:31
Well ok I just hope there was someone I could relate with with the same problem as me

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 00:52
Ok Fishmanpa I know I have spoke to my parents about this and they know about the ha and the patch as for the ha I’ve had it for a couple months now and it hasn’t been that bad but because of this it is so my parents don’t really care much but as for the patch they don’t even really care they just say it’s normal but don’t give a reason or anything and I find it hard to trust things without evidence or reasons, the main fear about the patch is that it’s Erythroplakia, which is a precancerous red lesion which pretty much perfectly fits the description of mine and that it’s already developed to cancer maybe So that’s why I’m scared and so desperate for support and reassurance because my parents aren’t helping

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Sorry I just feel pretty scared

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:doh:

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this is very very hard, I just want to know that I'm fine but I feel like I'm done now all my fears have happened and I don't know what to do

Can someone please answer I'm so scared??? I still don't know if this is OC or not

Well, looks like no ones gonna answer to me anymore, I'm screwed

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No one?

nomorepanic
28-01-18, 01:03
Go to bed and stop worrying please.

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 01:08
It’s only 5:00 here in US

nomorepanic
28-01-18, 01:11
ok well go and do something else then

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 01:58
Yes Nicola I have been playing video games and doing the stuff I love talkin with friends but still if there’s a one second break from my thoughts they go straight to “what if I have OC?” “What if this red patch really is OC?” This is torture

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Oh also I had a clear blood test like two weeks ago will that help with this fear??

MyNameIsTerry
28-01-18, 02:13
Oh well, at least it means you end up doing the 'night shift' here. Is that really the sort of thing they show on TOWIE (never seen it )?

Me neither but they talk about having all that stuff done. :blush: I shouldn't really be bothered by it after 20 years of working in offices full of women...they talk about anything & everything :ohmy::D

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 03:56
Uummmm.....

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That was random

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Is anyone gonna help anymore??

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:weep::weep::weep: im literally crying right now

Catherine S
28-01-18, 04:16
How many people were you hoping for? You've had some of the best people this forum can offer advising you and you're asking for more reassurance?

Folks, this is a 13 year old child with what sounds like good parents, surely it's not our responsibility to get involved in this child's welfare. I know I wouldn't be very happy if one of my children at that age was seeking help on a forum full of adults. I've always thought the minimum age here was way too young. Particularly when you have certain members who like to resort to adult inuendo in their replies, even when replying to children.

Bl4ze...seriously now, you need to hand these fears over to your parents, or an adult you can trust. This is not the place to be at your age.

Best wishes.

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 04:53
I have already my parents aren’t really helping

Catherine S
28-01-18, 04:58
Yes they are helping you, by not giving this fear the attention you seek. I would suggest the same of the people here.

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 04:59
I just need reassurance it’s not OC tho

Catherine S
28-01-18, 05:00
It's not OC.

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 05:02
*sigh* I’ll try to get more help then

MyNameIsTerry
28-01-18, 05:05
Am I the only one who is reminded of a chronic HAer who recently looks as if she's left the forum? Exactly the same behaviour....

Just sayin'... :whistles:

That just shows how little people know when things aren't going on in public. The member I assume you are referring to is still asking for help but it's now to individuals since Admin have started keeping on top of things.

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 05:07
What happened??

MyNameIsTerry
28-01-18, 05:10
What happened??

Ignore it, it's another situation on the forum and Admin have reminded everyone of the rules enough times. It's just some incorrect assuming.

When was the last time you spoke to your parents about how you feel? I don't mean about this mark or another past theme but about how this is all making you feel? You needing to reach out like this should be enough for parents to intervene to get you some help. Remember what Carys said about accessing counselling support at school? Do you have a teacher you feel you could talk to and perhaps they can tell you what is available to help you.

Are you worried if you ask for help that it may upset your parents?

Catherine S
28-01-18, 05:11
*sigh* I’ll try to get more help then

That would be the sensible thing to do. The forum is really helpful and full of information, but at your tender age, it can't replace real people in your life who can help you.

Take care.

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 05:18
Yes terry I have told my parents about how I feel and they just don’t seem to get it, sometimes they kinda get frustrated and just say get over it or something like that

---------- Post added at 05:18 ---------- Previous post was at 05:15 ----------

The health anxiety I have had before this red patch thing was nothing compared to this, because this is actually something that CAN be very very real and very very serious unlike the rest

MyNameIsTerry
28-01-18, 05:19
They may think it's attention seeking or a phase you will grow out of. Mental health is still an unknown to many people so they just don't see the signs or if they do they only see something they are concerned about and head to a doctor.

What you could do is show them mental health information about health anxiety. They may take note if you show them something from the medical community that explains that this is something that is best assessed by a doctor and there is help for.

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 05:22
Yes, my parents do understand but they don’t understand how torturous it actually is and how I feel going through all this torture

---------- Post added at 05:22 ---------- Previous post was at 05:21 ----------

I guess I have always been an anxious person but I never used to care about my health much just anxious about other things that seem ridiculous to me now :blush:

MyNameIsTerry
28-01-18, 05:23
Why not show them this thread? It should be enough for them to want to do something.

If they can see that you are feeling like this and reaching out onto forums of people with these issues then I would expect them to at least consult a medical professional to be sure.

No parent would want their child feeling like this and even seeing them talking about it would mean they would want to help.

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 05:24
Yes they’ve talked to my gp and he says if it gets worse then to go to a therapist or something

MyNameIsTerry
28-01-18, 05:26
Right ok so now you are struggling more and they have been given sound medical advice which they need to take notice of. So, the action from you is to let them know and they can seek our someone to help you.

There may even be support at your school. And to be honest, any school stress or peer issues can add to anxiety so a parent would be wondering about things like exams or if you are struggling with any work. These are things they can take practical steps to help with by talking to teachers.

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 05:48
I really don't care about my HA now as long as this red patch stays if it goes then I can start fixing my HA I feel like this red patch is my biggest problem now

MyNameIsTerry
28-01-18, 05:53
If you read around on this forum you would see people much older than you saying exactly that. Unfortunately it's not the way it works. HA is a disorder that needs treating whether through a doctor, therapist or self.

It will just find another target after this just as it did after your last fear. The way to start to feel better is to address it so that it stops doing this to you. It's learnt behaviour, I wasn't even an anxiety sufferer until I had a breakdown at 30 and I've been dealing with it ever since because the subconscious learns to be afraid. It needs to be shown not to respond this way in the future.

Carys
28-01-18, 06:01
Morning Bl4ze,


Yes they’ve talked to my gp and he says if it gets worse then to go to a therapist or something

Ok, so that is a step forward to recognise that there can and will be help for you, so now you need a therapist. Obviously your parents did talk to the GP about your excessive worrying about health, so they do care and are concerned.

I know its a tough time at your age, parents do things that seems awfully strange and at odds with what you want. They may be struggling to know what the right thing is to do as well,and you are struggling with being able to communicate as you want to with them. Being a teenager is hard, and I don't mean that in a patronising way, which is why sometimes (as Terry and I both keep repeating) finding someone in your school setting is something you really could do if you don't want to talk to your parents further.

This red patch issue will be resolved, it won't be anything horrible and nasty at all and something minor (like a tooth rubbing or something)- if anything at all. The trouble is another thing will come along, it always does, a hurting and buzzing toe or a pain in the head. Now is the time to work on your fears, not after the red patch.

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 06:04
ok carys

Carys
28-01-18, 06:06
Isnt it very late where you are now?

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 07:47
No is only like 10:30

---------- Post added at 07:47 ---------- Previous post was at 06:48 ----------

So the red patch isn’t serious?

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 15:34
Guys I found another very small red patch near the first one :ohmy:

---------- Post added at 15:34 ---------- Previous post was at 15:32 ----------

Please help me I’m so scared

nomorepanic
28-01-18, 15:35
Seek and thee shall find!

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 15:49
No it wasn’t there before

---------- Post added at 15:38 ---------- Previous post was at 15:38 ----------

http://www.exodontia.info/sitebuilder/images/Erythroplakia_of_Palate-734x490.jpg

---------- Post added at 15:39 ---------- Previous post was at 15:38 ----------

Doesn’t this kinda look like m Mine?? ITS ERYTHOPLAKIA :scared15:

---------- Post added at 15:44 ---------- Previous post was at 15:39 ----------

:scared15::scared15::scared15:

---------- Post added at 15:45 ---------- Previous post was at 15:44 ----------

Oh my gosh I don’t know what to doooo I’m spiralingggg!!!

---------- Post added at 15:49 ---------- Previous post was at 15:45 ----------

https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-krdCy-hqI60/Tk-vZforC-I/AAAAAAAACxA/YDlphQH74mI/s640/Erythroplakia+of+the+buccal+mucosa+1.png
THIS ONE LOOKS ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME AS MINE

Carys
28-01-18, 16:09
Oh I see, that first picture was a real OC sufferer. No, they don't look the same AT ALL. Can I be honest with you here...I looked at the first image and thought it was your mouth.....I thought 'ekkk that looks unpleasant, and there are white patches too, that s not good, it does look a bit dodgy actually'. I was about to say maybe you SHOULD get it checked. Then I realised it was A REAL OC sufferer and saw it next to your own mouth picture, that was posted by Fishmanpa! No, it DOESN'T look the same at all, yours looks FINE.

Bl4ze, get your parents to take you to your doctor...and NO I'm not saying this is oral cancer....I'm saying that you need some assistance with your fears and terrible anxiety about your body. We are helping you as best we can Bl4ze. This is a HA forum you are on.

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 17:16
Does Fishmanpa not want to help?

nomorepanic
28-01-18, 17:38
I think he is exhausted by it all to be honest and I don't blame him!

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 17:40
Well, i dont either, but this is how scared I am, and my parents arent helping

Carys
28-01-18, 17:42
I appreciate you feel your parents aren't helping. SO......Go and see a trusted school adult. A tutor ? Counsellor ? Well being practitioner ? Anybody who you can tell that you are spending your time on a HA site, and why. I honestly can't add anything more either Bl4ze. I know you are really suffering, and desperately want you to reach out to someone who can set the ball in motion for you to get some proper help. Please.

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 17:57
I guess im just embarrased to tell anyone :blush:

Elen
28-01-18, 18:04
I guess im just embarrased to tell anyone :blush:

That statement implies that you know that is a mental problem rather than a physical one.

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 20:16
Yea I know I have health anxiety but the red patch is a physical problem though

---------- Post added at 19:37 ---------- Previous post was at 19:04 ----------

And I don’t know how to fix it

---------- Post added at 20:15 ---------- Previous post was at 19:37 ----------

This is what it looks like now: https://imgur.com/zkAN4DN

---------- Post added at 20:16 ---------- Previous post was at 20:15 ----------

:scared15: A smaller one has formed under it

nomorepanic
28-01-18, 20:20
You need to go and see a doctor or a dentist. We really can't tell you what it is. Please talk to your parents and get them to take you.

I still can't see anything in the pictures though

Catherine S
28-01-18, 20:23
You really need to hand this over to your parents. They can take you see a doctor. Nobody here can tell you what it is, we can't diagnose. I'm sure most of us feel uncomfortable with this situation because you're only 13. You need to log out of the forum and sort it out with your family. Come back and tell us how you get on. No ifs, no buts, no more photos...just do it ok?

Sorry Nic, our replies obviously posted at the same time.

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 20:52
That’s what I’m trying but my parents are firm they said they will never take me to a doctor or dentist

Carys
28-01-18, 21:03
Well, two days ago they said they would take you if it hadn't gone in a week? what happened since then? You are still asking them about the doctor or dentist and your red patch, not asking them about therapy for your health anxiety.

This is going in circles, big looping circles. SEE AN ADULT AT SCHOOL.

I can't add anymore, I shouldn't really have added this to be honest.

Come back and say how you got on Bl4ze, we would really like to hear :yesyes:

Bl4ze
28-01-18, 22:19
Yes they did but now apparently they changed their mind :shrug:

Missjensen
28-01-18, 23:01
The first picture you posted of your mouth, looks like a mouth, it’s looks like mine.. it’s normal. Some people just have more red mouth roofs and gums.. it’s not OC

Now get some help please, I’ve had HA since I was 15 and I’m 26 now... every time you find a new problem, the old problem seems stupid and was NOT serious but this new one absolutely is ! I know how cruel this thing is. It sounds like you have it for about 6 months?? Please nip it in the bud while it’s early on.. it’s not fun 11 yers after and 20+ definitely deaths.

Bl4ze
29-01-18, 00:17
Ok, but when you said it looks like a normal mouth, I don’t think so because it is COMPLETELY different than the rest of my mouth and it’s pretty big and it stands out in the picture it looks a bit milder than it actually is, and it’s in my inner cheek

nomorepanic
29-01-18, 00:20
I can't see anything.

You have to do something about this. Why would your parents not want to help you and get it looked at?

We can't force them to but you need to talk to someone about this.

You cannot be like this at 13 as things will get 100 times worse as you get older so it needs sorting now.

There really isn't anything we can do to help or reassure you - you need a professional to look at it.

Bl4ze
29-01-18, 03:55
Yea im not sure why my parents wont go theyre just mad that im spiraling again

---------- Post added at 03:17 ---------- Previous post was at 00:44 ----------

I just wish this red patch would go away

---------- Post added at 03:54 ---------- Previous post was at 03:17 ----------

Wow why are there so many guests viewing this??

---------- Post added at 03:55 ---------- Previous post was at 03:54 ----------

If so many others have this problem it would be helpful if they can register and respond to me it would help a lot that I know others had the same and it was solved

Missjensen
29-01-18, 15:53
There is nothing we can say or do to make you feel better.

Your mouth is fine, it’s normal that the mouth don’t share one colour, mine have different colours depending where in the mouth I look, especially the roof and gums can be redder or lighter, it’s different types of skin. I go to the dentist every 6 months and it’s always been fine.

The gust views can be members that just look a post without logging into their account. I often do that.

Bl4ze
29-01-18, 15:54
Oh ok

Missjensen
29-01-18, 15:55
So I guess the red patch will never go away and have always been there..

Bl4ze
29-01-18, 15:56
No I’m not sure about that, I kinda vaguely remember looking at my mouth a while back and not seeing it there, maybe like three months ago I think, so I don’t know

Bigboyuk
29-01-18, 16:08
I find it very dishearting that the OP's parents aren't prepared to help prehaps have one more go at your parents your HA needs treating now not next week get them to support you on this it wont get better on it's own your life is being consumed by this HA Help is out there they can see the distress it's causing you. ATB

Bl4ze
29-01-18, 16:23
Yea my parents re trying to reassure me saying that it’s nothing and things like that but they don’t wanna take me to a dr or anything

Carys
29-01-18, 16:23
I don't think the OP is asking about HA (mental health) help, but help with going to the doctor about the red patch.

Curtis
29-01-18, 16:23
How long it's been there?

Carys
29-01-18, 16:26
You sure you wanna ask questions about this ? :roflmao:

axolotl
29-01-18, 16:35
This is a child asking these questions and they need some real-world help from a responsible adult at the end of the day. OP - please seek this out one way or another (to clarify, I mean mental health, not your "symptoms").

So sad to see someone so young worried about this kind of thing. This isn't a thread about a red mark in a mouth, that's such an arbitrary obsession as always, it's a thread about mental health (as we all know). Sadly there are people on this forum two or three times his age that never realise that, so hopefully he gets some help and can nip this in the bud early.

Carys
29-01-18, 16:40
Spot on axolotl! Bl4ze, isn't it school now at this time ?

MyNameIsTerry
29-01-18, 17:15
I find it very dishearting that the OP's parents aren't prepared to help prehaps have one more go at your parents your HA needs treating now not next week get them to support you on this it wont get better on it's own your life is being consumed by this HA Help is out there they can see the distress it's causing you. ATB

To be fair reassurance seeking can come across as attention seeking behaviour and a parent might want to halt that behaviour. It may be wider than health, it wouldn't be uncommon in children. I'm not saying it is but I think we have to remember we are seeing a slice of the person's life and the parent sees a lot more.

A parent mind be mindful of wasting a doctor's time. I can't imagine my mum ever taking me to a doctor about this when I was young. My worry would be another matter. But since a doctor has recommended a therapist, that is certainly what I would expect they need to be doing but for we know they are researching one right now?

axolotl
29-01-18, 17:21
that is certainly what I would expect they need to be doing but for we know they are researching one right now?

Exactly, we're hearing this filtered through a very anxious (young) teenager who's still single-mindedly wanting to talk about a "symptom", so I'm reserving any judgement as to what his parents are doing/not doing right now.

Bl4ze
29-01-18, 17:28
:huh:

Bigboyuk
29-01-18, 17:58
Ok would your parents take you get help regarding your HA condition, will you ask them?As this is the only problem you have but it's still a bad one ATB

Violet Blue
29-01-18, 18:13
It saddens me when very kind people try their hardest to help and then feel upset when their advice is not heeded.

If, IF, this is a child I think admin should be directing her to a more age appropriate website.

nomorepanic
29-01-18, 18:19
We don't know of one and isn't that just passing the buck so to speak?

axolotl
29-01-18, 18:29
:huh:

Respectfully, if people are trying to help try and reply with more than an emoji.

And if you don't understand what people are trying to tell you on here you need to discuss it with an adult in the real-world instead.

Bl4ze
29-01-18, 19:30
Ok it’s not that I don’t heed your advice it’s that my parents won’t let me go to a dr or anything even for ha

Carys
29-01-18, 20:18
Bl4ze...this is a serious question.....how are you on here in the day ? Are you not a school ?

axolotl
29-01-18, 20:22
Is that because you've been to a doctor about your health anxiety before? Are you taking any medication for anxiety?

Also, ive never heard a 13 yr old using the word 'heed'. I must admit, your vocabulary on here sounds rather grown up! Except for the emojis of course.

Violet used the word "heed" first three messages up :shrug:

We've become a suspicious lot on here...

Carys
29-01-18, 20:22
Yeah, I don't think we need to question Bl4ze's honesty about his age.

Bl4ze
29-01-18, 20:37
It saddens me when very kind people try their hardest to help and then feel upset when their advice is not heeded.

If, IF, this is a child I think admin should be directing her to a more age appropriate website.

I got heed from here

Bigboyuk
29-01-18, 21:03
And are you at school today? ATB

Bl4ze
29-01-18, 21:43
No I don’t have any medications or anything, my health anxiety normally is pretty low, but when I found this red patch I wasnt too scared but I looked it up and I got super scared that’s why

Bigboyuk
29-01-18, 22:16
Ok so no meds but you haven't tackled your HA problems, so whats going to happen when something else crops up?? ATB

axolotl
29-01-18, 23:11
I've mishandled a situation on here again as always, I'm sorry.

Bigboyuk
29-01-18, 23:16
Bl4ze could you be so kind and answer my question Re post 152 thanks ATB

MyNameIsTerry
30-01-18, 01:54
We don't know of one and isn't that just passing the buck so to speak?

Is there anything like Childline in the US?

I agree with you, if you shift the age to 16 some older members on here might still have the same issue. And something to consider is that young people, especially children, are considered more likely to isolate themselves hence why charities create specific support groups for them.

I think they need more care and they need to be steered to adults where possible. But many parents aren't good people either and these kids may not have as many options therefore it's not as simple as just talk to your parents for all.

I hope people don't get frustrated, we need to be more patient with kids & young people. We need to remember how we were back then. We also need to be mindful of saying things that could undermine their confidence and not coming across heavy handed which winds many of them up about their relationships.

I believe in being open minded about members too. If I get taken for a ride the odd time my dented pride is less important than if I'm wrong and upset someone already struggling with their mental health.

Bl4ze - these are general points, they're not judging you or your parents or implying anything.

At what point could you see yourself accepting you need help with how this is making you feel? How does it impact on your days e.g. school, friends & social, etc?

Bl4ze
30-01-18, 04:02
I guess it doesn’t impact me much when I’m with friend or school or anything by the way no school cuz of some teacher meeting

MyNameIsTerry
30-01-18, 04:21
So doesn't that show to you that there is an issue with having too much time to focus on this physical worry? If you really thought it was something as serious as cancer it wouldn't be put aside as easily.

That's anxiety for you, the subconscious triggers you more when not distracted and you have more time to consciously add to your worry.

I'm glad it's not so bad that it interferes with these things too. It also means that you may find relief in doing more things that cut down on time to think about this.

Bl4ze
30-01-18, 04:49
Yea thanks Terry

---------- Post added at 04:49 ---------- Previous post was at 04:47 ----------

Also , if it was erythroplakia would the re patch get lighter in the mornings or if I don’t look at it for a while? Cuz if I don’t look at it for a while or in the mornings it is light but as i keep stretching my cheek to look at it it becomes redder and expands right in front of my eyes like I can see the whole change it’s weird

MyNameIsTerry
30-01-18, 05:02
I couldn't say, that's a question for a medical professional.

But my gut feeling is that whilst patches can change I wouldn't expect a patch to become worse in how it looks to then get nicer looking again. There is an oral cancer survivor in your thread who would know much more than I on that.

Also, redness is going to occur if you cause local damage to sensitive areas just as poking & prodding at something inflames it further. So, it could be going red due to the stretching. More blood might be going to the area because the body senses it needs to repair tissue there (which is what the body should do) and it can appear redder for this. It could be irritated by the stretching and go red.

Once the body does what it needs too, the swelling/redness returns to pink. This happens with gums a lot when something irritates them. The same with the tongue or sore throats.

Cancerous cells just keep growing, they don't heal, they are out of control at this point. When you look at skin cancers you notice how in pictures showing them from x weeks to y months they look worse & worse. My dad's skin cancer certainly did. He was picking at his and whilst it attempted to heal over it still looked as bad and got worse over time.

Bl4ze
30-01-18, 05:05
Well do you know what erythoplakia is?

---------- Post added at 05:05 ---------- Previous post was at 05:04 ----------

Oh and also the patch feels rough and soft at the same time, maybe velvety or something I don’t know but it’s fits erythoplakia’s description :ohmy:

Carys
30-01-18, 05:43
Cuz if I don’t look at it for a while or in the mornings it is light but as i keep stretching my cheek to look at it it becomes redder and expands right in front of my eyesWe talked about this on pm Blaze (sorry that 4 gets in the way of my speed typing :D), only yesterday. I am not medical either, but it is my opinion that anything that fluctuates between better and worse can't be anything AT ALL related to a cancer or whatever this' E thing' is. Those horrible things you worry about having, wouldn't be better in the morning. Terry saidthe same above, and he has said it in very clear terms to you above. Read his reply over and over, when you have doubts, when you need to try and reassure yourself READ what he said.

I think you've hit the nail on the head here....


as i keep stretching my cheek to look at it it becomes redder and expandsyou are constantly stretching your cheek and it becomes redder...you could be causing the 'red patch', inflammation, with obsessing over it.
I suspect that if you let it alone for days, it would get lighter and lighter, as it is in the mornings, after its had a night of not being messed with.

---------- Post added at 05:36 ---------- Previous post was at 05:29 ----------


I hope people don't get frustrated, we need to be more patient with kids & young people. We need to remember how we were back then. We also need to be mindful of saying things that could undermine their confidence and not coming across heavy handed which winds many of them up about their relationships.

I believe in being open minded about members too. If I get taken for a ride the odd time my dented pride is less important than if I'm wrong and upset someone already struggling with their mental health. ...and I agree with every word you wrote in this post Mynameisterry. It shocks me to see 'the adults' arguing on the thread of a child, as if they aren't there reading. Just because you are frustrated, feel suspicious or have a strong opinion, it doesn't mean you should voice it publically.

---------- Post added at 05:43 ---------- Previous post was at 05:36 ----------


by the way no school cuz of some teacher meetingAh good, that explains that then......we wouldn't want you hanging out with us when you should be with your friends or studying. :yesyes:

MyNameIsTerry
30-01-18, 05:45
Well do you know what erythoplakia is?

---------- Post added at 05:05 ---------- Previous post was at 05:04 ----------

Oh and also the patch feels rough and soft at the same time, maybe velvety or something I don’t know but it’s fits erythoplakia’s description :ohmy:

I didn't so I read about it to understand what you were asking about. It was very clear that it only gets classified this way where it manifests this way but has no other root cause e.g. a burn wouldn't need further checks.

You've just told us about the stretching and i fully agree with what Carys has just said. Something has causes it but disturbing it will prevent full healing. We see it daily on here with people poking & prodding lymph nodes and other things and the result is they stay swollen longer.

Bl4ze
30-01-18, 15:11
Oh ok but it’s not getting any better either

Bigboyuk
30-01-18, 16:00
Touching it like Terry says will only aggravate it even more so try and avoid doing this :) Are you in school today perhaps have a word with a trusted teacher etc ok! ATB

Bl4ze
31-01-18, 05:28
Ok I hope so

---------- Post added at 05:28 ---------- Previous post was at 05:02 ----------

It’s been a week and it’s still not gone :weep:

Carys
31-01-18, 11:50
Blaze, I'm impressed you've been quite quiet about this OC thing the last day or so. I am so hoping it means you are worrying about it less, and have managed to become a bit more rational after hearing everyone's thoughts. Stop checking all the time though, maybe limit yourself to once or twice a day ONLY.

Mouth sore patches can take ages to heal, I had an ulcer a couple of months ago that took 6 weeks to totally disappear and the redness to go.

Are you being careful with your toothbrush too.....I have a rather crazy strong electric brush and once I accidentally turned it round and 'scuffed up' the inside of my cheek. its another possibility isn't that when you put your brush in to clean your molars you are causing friction on the inside cheek?

Bigboyuk
31-01-18, 12:04
Your mouth takes a lot of stick from eating different foods to talking etc so it's bound to get some scrapes along the way :) ATB

Bl4ze
31-01-18, 15:35
Yea Carys I have been very calm about this the past days, and not so worried I guess but I haven’t touched it that much for the past few days and it’s still the same no Change for the better

Bigboyuk
31-01-18, 15:53
This is good are you in school today? ATB

Bl4ze
31-01-18, 15:54
Yes

Bigboyuk
31-01-18, 15:56
Cool what lessons are your favourite? ATB

Carys
31-01-18, 16:06
Yea Carys I have been very calm about this the past days, and not so worried

That's brilliant Blaze. Give it time, lots of time....but you know what it might actually be something that you've always had and just noticed.

Bl4ze
31-01-18, 16:12
That would be weird, if it was what would it be?

Carys
31-01-18, 16:36
It would be like....a natural variant of the human body. Like I have freckles, or a rib that seems to be bumpy and fused to the other one.:)

Bl4ze
31-01-18, 21:42
You sure?

---------- Post added at 18:59 ---------- Previous post was at 18:55 ----------

I Dontt know if it would be this weird, and I remember checking my mouth before maybe a couple moths ago and it wasn’t there i think

---------- Post added at 21:42 ---------- Previous post was at 18:59 ----------

I just don’t understand what it could be if it’s not erythroplakia

Bl4ze
01-02-18, 02:02
:unsure:

axolotl
01-02-18, 07:39
I Dontt know if it would be this weird, and I remember checking my mouth before maybe a couple moths ago and it wasn’t there i think

Why on earth were you checking your mouth?

Bl4ze
01-02-18, 14:59
Just checking if I had any signs of OC

Bigboyuk
01-02-18, 15:01
Bl4ze you need to stop checking your mouth this is not good it's taking over you life sadly ATB

axolotl
01-02-18, 15:21
Just checking if I had any signs of OC

So, wait, you were checking for oral cancer signs weeks ago? So you're a 13 year old lad randomly checking if you have a cancer exclusively of older adults when you had no reason to do so, and lo and behold you think you find it?

So not only would you be a medical anomaly, but psychic too because you thought to look for it?

Seriously if you can't see or understand the ludicrousness of this situation you need to get off the Internet and see a grown-up for help and advice as soon as possible.

Bl4ze
01-02-18, 16:29
Yea ok

---------- Post added at 16:29 ---------- Previous post was at 16:08 ----------

This thing still isn’t going away tho

axolotl
01-02-18, 18:15
Yea ok

---------- Post added at 16:29 ---------- Previous post was at 16:08 ----------

This thing still isn’t going away tho

Sorry but what do you actually mean by "yea ok"? You seem very dismissive of advice here.

Do you know how uninterested we all are in talking about a slight red mark in a child's mouth? I don't care about your imaginary symptoms.

We are interested in encouraging a child to get help from responsible adults for anxiety and possible OCD.

---------- Post added at 18:15 ---------- Previous post was at 17:58 ----------

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but your fear seems very real to you but your posts are the same boilerplate post that is almost literally every health anxiety post on this forum. The details never matter. It's harmful to you if we were to indulge your reassurance-seeking, and boring for us to talk in depth about things you shouldn't be giving time of day to, let alone us.

If reassurance was possible the fact 13-year-olds don't get OC should be more than enough to put it to bed. But it isn't.

The only reason people post, whether they're being "nice" or "harsh", is because they genuinely care when they think a kid is having a bad time. Only real-world help will sort this.

Bl4ze
01-02-18, 22:52
Ok

---------- Post added at 22:52 ---------- Previous post was at 22:51 ----------

I just have one more question: if this wasn’t erythoplakia, like if it was a burn or bite or something, would it sometimes feel like rough/velvety because that’s what it feels like sometimes and I don’t know I though if there’s a different feel in the tissues then the cells have changed or something I don’t know

axolotl
01-02-18, 22:57
Ok

---------- Post added at 22:52 ---------- Previous post was at 22:51 ----------

I just have one more question: if this wasn’t erythoplakia, like if it was a burn or bite or something, would it sometimes feel like rough/velvety because that’s what it feels like sometimes and I don’t know I though if there’s a different feel in the tissues then the cells have changed or something I don’t know

:shrug: :doh: :lac:


It's harmful to you if we were to indulge your reassurance-seeking, and boring for us to talk in depth about things you shouldn't be giving time of day to, let alone us.

Bl4ze
01-02-18, 23:44
I just want to know this and I’ll leave you alone

axolotl
02-02-18, 00:02
I just want to know this and I’ll leave you alone

You see you don't understand how this thing works, you won't leave us alone. You'll be temporarily reassured at best, then another thought will pop in your head you need validation for. It may be another thought about a the same thing or something new... a rash or a twitch or an ache or a spot or a bump...

We're Internet randoms. We have no idea what's going on in your mouth. How the hell could we? But we recognise the signs of anxiety disorders because we have them too and the patterns are desperately, depressingly familiar.

You're a kid obsessed with cancer, and a specific, ludicrous fear of a cancer you have no chance of getting. That's very sad. But there's very little a group of strangers half way round the world could - or indeed should - be doing. Get help in the real world now so you can in the future put this down to a phase of growing up not the start of a lifelong problem.

It's not about wanting you to "leave us alone", just stop trying to coax us into indulging your phantom illness fantasies, which are deeply unhealthy for you to keep going.

Violet Blue
02-02-18, 02:48
Axolotl, please don't let the OP wind you up, that is exactly the reaction they want. :hugs:

Carys
02-02-18, 07:12
Axolotl, please don't let the OP wind you up, that is exactly the reaction they want.I don't believe it is, I think they could get far better results and try a lot harder it they really 'wanted a reaction'. You are presuming this person is trolling, I am not and axolotl is not either. I am seeing out of control health anxiety at this point in time, yes it can look like trolling because it is so repetitive and resistant to advice.

We've been here before haven't we, earlier in the thread Violet, and it led to an argument and a lot of upset, people making veiled accusations. I'd rather not jump to conclusions about posters, incase I am wrong and axolotl said the same.

Blaze, its not that we 'want you to leave us alone', we don't dislike you or anything.....we just don't want to see you struggling and suffering like this. We know there is nothing we can do that is going to be helpful to you and want you to find people who really can help you! You can come back here and talk about having done that, we'd like to hear of some progress in that :)

Violet Blue
02-02-18, 07:46
I don't believe it is, I think they could get far better results and try a lot harder it they really 'wanted a reaction'. You are presuming this person is trolling, I am not and axolotl is not either. I am seeing out of control health anxiety at this point in time, yes it can look like trolling because it is so repetitive and resistant to advice.

We've been here before haven't we, earlier in the thread Violet, and it led to an argument and a lot of upset, people making veiled accusations. I'd rather not jump to conclusions about posters, incase I am wrong and axolotl said the same.

Blaze, its not that we 'want you to leave us alone', we don't dislike you or anything.....we just don't want to see you struggling and suffering like this. We know there is nothing we can do that is going to be helpful to you and want you to find people who really can help you! You can come back here and talk about having done that, we'd like to hear of some progress in that :)

If the OP is a child they shouldn't be on here anyway. It's never a good idea to interact with a child on social media, that's dodgy even on this website.

But can I ask, is there any actual evidence that this is a thirteen year old American boy? Everything about what they are saying screams adult British woman to me.

axolotl
02-02-18, 07:50
I'm not getting wound up, just trying to chip away that the OP needs to sort out his problems in the real world. However I'm getting close to having nothing new to say.

Unfortunately there seems to be a strand of health anxiety shown by a lot of posters on here where coaxing people to talk about their phantom "illnesses" is more important to them than getting reassurance or practical advice. They don't (always) seem to realise it. As a GADer not an OCDer it's part of the thing I don't understand particularly well, but I know it is (usually) different to people purposefully making waves.

Carys
02-02-18, 07:57
But can I ask, is there any actual evidence that this is a thirteen year old American boy? Everything about what they are saying screams adult British woman to me. There is no 'evidence' for any of us being who we say we are. We have to take people at face value posting here, otherwise we run the risk of saying something hurtful to them.


If the OP is a child they shouldn't be on here anyway. It's never a good idea to interact with a child on social media, that's dodgy even on this website.We are aware of that, but this discussion is happening in the full public domain and is clearly not 'dodgy' as is aimed at making the boy get real life help and NOT using the website. People should also not be afraid of talking with young people.

Elen
02-02-18, 08:05
Please read this from Nic (NMP)
"and just for the record if I feel that someone is replying to a post just to have a dig or make a sarcastic comment I will start removing those comments and banning that member from the thread."

Can I also ask that if you are replying to a post that you believe is against forum rules please do not quote that post in your reply.

If an offending post is to be removed that is easy, but innocent members get upset if their posts also get deleted.

Elen
02-02-18, 08:07
Also please read this thread as it gives more guidelines

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=182032

Carys
02-02-18, 08:08
Sorry Elen, I should not have responded.

Elen
02-02-18, 08:12
Sorry Elen, I should not have responded.

Carys, please don't apologise, you made valid points in your posts which is why I do not want to delete them.

Bigboyuk
02-02-18, 11:12
My 2 cents worth if I may just caught up the last couple of pages hmm Ok when does the time come when enough has been said to any poster and no more can be done? I mean we can explain in detail to a poster what we think, we can reassure them, we can get blunt about it etc but if the OP isn't doing their bit to take on board what has been said (this applies to any thread) I just think there has to be a cut off point, what do others think as we have our own MH conditions to struggle through. This is not a moan but a observation :) ATB

MyNameIsTerry
02-02-18, 12:14
My 2 cents worth if I may just caught up the last couple of pages hmm Ok when does the time come when enough has been said to any poster and no more can be done? I mean we can explain in detail to a poster what we think, we can reassure them, we can get blunt about it etc but if the OP isn't doing their bit to take on board what has been said (this applies to any thread) I just think there has to be a cut off point, what do others think as we have our own MH conditions to struggle through. This is not a moan but a observation :) ATB

We are all free to walk away from a thread. What else is there?

In the past this argument has been used in putting a case to Admin about removing members under the guise of being for their mental health but it's always been accompanied by arguments between those who disagree over various things and I've always concluded it was more about restoring the forum back to It's norm because some just can't walk away from a thread.

In the case of one of these repetitive members she got onto meds and is doing much better. The repetitive posting has stopped and she was called a fake, a troll, etc. I wonder how she would be if we simply pushed her away? And I find it strange when the anxiety community face stigma by those ignorant of mental health that we want to do the same to some just because they don't fit within the narrow margins of our own views on what anxiety is.

Perhaps you need to state what you think is best? Raising the question without doing so might leave it open to assumptions.

Admin have to decide what is best for all and perhaps that means we have to tolerate things we don't like? We can keep bashing our heads against that brick wall but I think it's worth remembering that there may be some who dislike our use of the forum so it can be a slippery slope into a closed club of the like minded which is obviously the opposite of what Nic intended it to be from my experience of NMP.

There are many such situations. The suicide one always gets me. We aren't trained to handle it but some complain about a desperate person being triggering and it just staggers me that people can't see how that could push a button in that person. :shrug: Walk past the bridge, help or don't but running up to the police officer complaining it makes the bridge unsightly is just beyond words.

Bigboyuk
02-02-18, 12:19
Yes fair point Terry and perhaps the question I posted should have been else where ad not in the middle of someones thread so do apologise to all. ATB

MyNameIsTerry
02-02-18, 12:27
It's a valid point, Dave, and it would be great to have like a professional guidance on this as well so we know what to do. It just attracts different points of view and there can be bias.

Maybe it's for another thread in general terms but in terms of what is best for Bl4ze, that's a good thing and completely valid. We've said all we can about that patch, the rest is mental health stuff and trying to encourage him to get his parents to take over.

Bl4ze
02-02-18, 15:45
Ok guys I’ll just stop posting then, I’m doing better on the anxiety part anyway

---------- Post added at 15:45 ---------- Previous post was at 15:43 ----------


But can I ask, is there any actual evidence that this is a thirteen year old American boy? Everything about what they are saying screams adult British woman to me.

Are you kidding me?

Bigboyuk
02-02-18, 18:17
Bl4ze i'am interested how you have achieved in doing better with your anxiety this is a genuine question :) ATB

Bl4ze
02-02-18, 22:50
Well I guess I just kinda forget about most of the time now :blush:

axolotl
03-02-18, 08:23
Well I guess I just kinda forget about most of the time now :blush:

Excellent.

Why not try and spend the weekend without visiting this forum? I don't say that because you're annoying anyone, just it'll help you forget it and you really should have better things to do!

Carys
03-02-18, 08:37
Well, that s perfect Blaze.....it gets boring doesn't it thinking about a small body 'issue' after a while. Go enjoy yourself and have a nice weekend :D

Bl4ze
03-02-18, 15:12
Ok guys I just have one thing that keeps bugging me. If it was a burn or bite or something, would it feel velvety or rough or something?

Bigboyuk
03-02-18, 15:17
Think you know the answer all ready! This a HA trait and is reassurance seeking which will only feed the HA Dragon it's not good for you :) ATB

axolotl
03-02-18, 15:38
Ok guys I just have one thing that keeps bugging me. If it was a burn or bite or something, would it feel velvety or rough or something?

No idea.

Get off the forum and enjoy your weekend.

Bigboyuk
03-02-18, 15:40
Seconded :)

Bl4ze
03-02-18, 23:20
Can someone tell me tho??

axolotl
03-02-18, 23:50
Can someone tell me tho??

No.

You must know by now exactly why nearly everyone's walked away from this thread. This will likely be my last comment too - what else is left to say?

As with others, you do remind me a lot of another poster on here. I'm not saying that to suggest any fakery on your side, but to point out that she has been posting here for literally years with the same repetitive reassurance cycle and no heed of advice about actually getting better. Don't be that person. Make this a blip in your life, not the start of a pattern. Log off, stop asking people to swat your anxious thoughts away for you, seek advice for anxiety in the real world. Good luck.

Bl4ze
04-02-18, 02:32
Ok then, thx axolotl, it’s already been two weeks since this thing came, and my parents are stubborn that they won’t get it checked out my a dr or dentist, but if I do get it checked out or it goes away, I’ll update

---------- Post added at 02:32 ---------- Previous post was at 00:36 ----------

Also, it blanches, is that a good sign??

Confetti
04-02-18, 04:43
I had a black circle on my lips a few weeks ago, I forgot that I bit my lip when eating a sandwich in the middle of the night, I assumed it was cancer of course but it vanished over a few days, I gnawed the inside of my cheek a good one last night, I looked today and it looked messed up, don't think it's terminal this time. I try not to look at any part of myself too much because I make crazy connections, not so crazy if it turns out to be serious though, so it pays to pay attention even if you're hyper attentive! If there are not developing symptoms or worsening of the localized site, just monitor it for degradation, inflammation, pain and whatever, get it checked out if it's hanging over you, they studied a long time and deal with it day in and day out so they'll tell you straight, otherwise get on with life as much as you can, even if you believe you're dying, you have to have an existence that does not just entail despair and fear.

Bl4ze
04-02-18, 07:27
Ok thx confetti, but no one has answered my question yet

axolotl
04-02-18, 09:24
Ok thx confetti, but no one has answered my question yet

Please tell your parents you're spending your weekend on an Internet forum asking random adults about your mouth. Hopefully this jolts them into getting you some help.

Final comment to you there Blaze, good luck getting these obsessions out of your head.

Carys
04-02-18, 09:35
Ok guys I just have one thing that keeps bugging me. If it was a burn or bite or something, would it feel velvety or rough or something?

You've asked this same question before Blaze. I know I shouldn't, but I'll answer this one more time. Yes, I think it could....but....and I've said this before earlier in the thread a few times; an area that is naturally rubbing against teeth could also feel a bit 'grainy' in texture. Blaze, you need to do two things here;

1. When you want an answer to the same questions you've asked before....go back to the start of this thread and read all the replies. Do this instead of asking the question. Our replies won't change, they are all written here time and time again.

2. Do as Axolotl said; (and many have asked that you do) Find someone, anyone, who you think can help you in the real world. It's nothing to be embarrased about, at your age I had the same problem and people too it very seriously then. You MUST have someone who is responsible for your well-being at school. Ask to see them, tell them that you are very anxious and worried, it is affecting your life and you are spending time on this forum. Why are you worried about doing this, what is stopping you?

MyNameIsTerry
04-02-18, 13:26
Ok thx confetti, but no one has answered my question yet

All questions have been answered. This is very typical of black & white thinking, the subconscious is demanding a yes or no, true or false because it closes the loop. But then it just starts off doubt and nuances the question to ask it again.

It doesn't like shades of grey and uncertainty. Classic anxiety stuff.

Reassurance seeking never works with this until you've learned to take information and apply it without re entering that cycle.

You are very young and we have to remember this as you are learning about these disorders. But we also know that we can go so far to help & explain and then we need to be wary of feeding your anxiety through our replies.

Bl4ze
05-02-18, 16:19
It’s bern two weeks , still showing no signs of going away

Bigboyuk
05-02-18, 17:27
I don't think we can give much more advice on this every avenue has been said to you, you need to talk with a trusted adult now we are exhausted now go and enjoy the rest of your day :) ATB

Bl4ze
06-02-18, 16:20
Guys if u can answer this it would really help me out a lot so please: The patch blanches, does that mean it’s blood or something because doesn’t blood only blanch??

Bigboyuk
06-02-18, 16:31
Nope sorry we cant Bl4ze go and enjoy the rest of your day! ATB

Carys
06-02-18, 16:32
What's blanching, cos to me that's about cooking vegetables ?

Bl4ze
06-02-18, 16:33
Blanching is when I press on it it disappears, like blood

Carys
06-02-18, 16:35
......but if you press on any area in the mouth it goes paler, right ? Thats what the body does.

MyNameIsTerry
06-02-18, 16:50
......but if you press on any area in the mouth it goes paler, right ? Thats what the body does.

Yep. Blood moves away.

Just like if you spend a week prodding a lymph node it swells. Or picking a scab stops it healing.

Bl4ze these sorts of questions are about normal functioning and it's often where anxiety takes us to. I've been through it too with questioning how my body should feel when I do x, y or z. It's just anxiety trying to look for more risks, escape it's current focusing somehow like Dave said.

Bl4ze
06-02-18, 17:25
Like press on ur hand, and let go the blood rushes back

---------- Post added at 17:25 ---------- Previous post was at 17:17 ----------

No guys I’m saying the red patch goes paler when I press on it

Carys
06-02-18, 17:34
...and so it should....that happens on any part of the mouth. The blood gets pushed away and then it comes back, when you let go.

Bl4ze
06-02-18, 19:07
If your saying that it’s normal, I don’t think so because in November I bit my check very hard on accident while eating and it was bleeding a lot and it was near the spot where the patch is now and it wasn’t there when I looked at it in the mirror but now the patch is so it wasn’t there before

Bigboyuk
06-02-18, 20:00
Again I will say this is your HA convincing you its some thing serious when its not :) Now you tell us you bit your cheek very hard so theres your answer ATB

Bl4ze
07-02-18, 05:12
How are u so sure that it’s normal?? Is there any other condition that presents like a red patch in mouth??

Carys
07-02-18, 06:16
See your parents about this Blaze, or a teacher in school.

axolotl
07-02-18, 10:52
See your parents about this Blaze, or a teacher in school.

This is now the only message we can, or should be, giving you.

Bl4ze
07-02-18, 19:13
If u guys keep saying get help with ur ha over and over again but how is that supposed to help with the red patch??

Carys
07-02-18, 19:23
See your teacher and/or parents Blaze about your HA, and tell them about the 'red patch' you are obsessing about and posting about online for weeks (following your other serious health concern a few weeks before). Tell them what you think it is, explain you are unhealthily obsessed by it and started checking it in November.

Bl4ze
07-02-18, 19:52
No, I didn’t check it in November, I just bit my cheek hard in November and it was bleeding and I looked at it that’s all. I don’t think it was there November

---------- Post added at 19:52 ---------- Previous post was at 19:51 ----------

My parents already know about the ha and red patch but won’t take me to dr or dentist

Carys
07-02-18, 20:00
My parents already know about the ha and red patch but won’t take me to dr or dentist

I'm really sorry to hear that Blaze, you might have to now try a well-being person at school, or counsellor or trusted teacher ?

Bl4ze
07-02-18, 20:47
Nope, I don’t really know any counselors at school, don’t really have close teachers or teachers that I’m comfortable to talk about this with, so.........

nomorepanic
07-02-18, 21:17
The only person that can correctly diagnose anything is a doctor or a dentist. If your parents won't take you and you say there is no-one else that can help then I am not sure what else to suggest we can do.

Bl4ze
07-02-18, 21:44
Well maybe u guys can help me

---------- Post added at 21:44 ---------- Previous post was at 21:43 ----------

By telling me what else it can be

nomorepanic
07-02-18, 21:59
I think everyone has tried but how can we know what it is - we are not doctor's?

Bigboyuk
07-02-18, 22:56
I Still think the school support system is the way to go on this, the counsellors will be fully trained to help you and CAN be trusted :) They wont fob you off and will get you the help you need. Like Nic states we aren't medically trained, is there a nurse at the school you could talk to? ATB

Catherine S
07-02-18, 23:44
I think you've exhausted all avenues here Bl4ze. You really do need to take a break from the forum and get help in the real world. As Nicola. ..the forum owner...has said, we don't know what it is because we're not doctors. Perhaps we need to stop posting reassurances about this now too.

Bl4ze
08-02-18, 03:56
Guys I CANT GO TO THE DR PARENTS WONT TAKE ME

---------- Post added at 02:52 ---------- Previous post was at 02:51 ----------

I don’t want to talk to the counselor, I’m too embarrassed and I don’t think they can help me!! The counsleors we have in our school aren’t for things like this they are for academics

---------- Post added at 03:39 ---------- Previous post was at 02:52 ----------

So I don’t know what to do, everything says if there’s a red patch or a white patch, if it’s not gone in two weeks then to go to dr

---------- Post added at 03:41 ---------- Previous post was at 03:39 ----------

And my parents won’t take me

---------- Post added at 03:56 ---------- Previous post was at 03:41 ----------

Ok now I really feel like I might die I’m so scared, I started spiraling again I don’t know why

---------- Post added at 03:56 ---------- Previous post was at 03:56 ----------

At 13 how can I get OC??!!!

Carys
08-02-18, 08:42
What do you expect us to be able to do Blaze? (and don't say, tell me what else it could be except OC, because we've done that for weeks). We are in a different country, non-medical internet strangers who have never even seen you. What CAN we actually do to help?

Only someone in real life can help you. You need to find someone at school, a tutor, anyone. Or ring mental health services in your area, or another family member.

Ferrolix
08-02-18, 09:24
disinfect it at first with natural things like are extreme strong Camomile tea Three days in a Row it should leave after but do NOT drink it just rinse

Bigboyuk
08-02-18, 15:45
Well ok is it affecting you schooling? If we could help you we would, still not sure why your parents wont intervene on your behalf it's very sad and that pain I do feel for you. You are going to have speak to some adult at the school how ever embarrising it may seem it has to be done :) I did ask is there a school nurse you didn't reply so I take it there isn't. we are stuck as to what to suggest to you. ATB

axolotl
08-02-18, 15:50
At 13 how can I get OC??!!!

You've nailed it... you can't.


If u guys keep saying get help with ur ha over and over again but how is that supposed to help with the red patch??

I'm going to say something at the risk of being patronising, but you don't understand what we're trying to repeatedly tell you, and we've exhausted all avenues of doing so. I know you think it's hard but you need to get real-world help from an adult. Please show your parents this thread if you have to.

Bl4ze
08-02-18, 16:00
disinfect it at first with natural things like are extreme strong Camomile tea Three days in a Row it should leave after but do NOT drink it just rinse

So should I rinse with salt water??

axolotl
08-02-18, 16:02
So should I rinse with salt water??

With respect to Ferrolix and their well-meaning advice, I'm not sure we should be encouraging Blaze to "treat" this. While nothing here will do any harm, I wouldn't want him to start freaking out if it doesn't "cure" something.

Bl4ze
08-02-18, 16:11
Do..... your saying you don’t want it to go away??

---------- Post added at 16:11 ---------- Previous post was at 16:11 ----------

Because I REALLY want it to go away

axolotl
08-02-18, 16:17
Do..... your saying you don’t want it to go away??

---------- Post added at 16:11 ---------- Previous post was at 16:11 ----------

Because I REALLY want it to go away

Oh Blaze, give it a rest with this routine. If you honestly don't understand what people are trying to tell you here maybe it's a sign it's not the right place to get help...which is a responsible adult in the real world

Bl4ze
08-02-18, 16:22
But I should be treating it, because I want it to go away, if I don’t do anything it might just stay and I’ll be anxious about it for a long time

---------- Post added at 16:22 ---------- Previous post was at 16:21 ----------

Everything I’ve seen says that if there’s a red lesion in your mouth for more than two weeks go to the dr...., it’s been over two week

Carys
08-02-18, 16:24
So, how can WE take you to the doctor or dentist Blaze? (not that I think you need to go you understand)

How can WE tell your parents to take you to get some therapy for your HA ?

How can WE talk to someone at school for you ?

I know this is rough, and you feel lost at the moment, but we are now at a loss....what more can we do ?