bethyboo
01-07-07, 14:36
I have been on medication for 8 years on and off for acute anxiety and panick attacks and depression. I have 2 children and when im ok i am extremely bubbly and outgoing, i ahve alot of freinds and am known for being loud and funny. But these only ever last for short periods of time, i can then for no apparent reason become depressed, anxious, and if im ina relationship i immediately find a way out fo that relationship. I then turn to drink and drugs which i ahve abused many tiems over the years, I have a very unhealthy sex life and it has been commente don that i put myself into dangerous situations becasue of my sexual tendancies. it is not that i am a deviant , just that i ahve many partners at one time and am careless and unaware of other peoples feelings. when im in one of these phases i feel almost powerfull.....but at the same time i loathe myself for my beahviour but cannot seem to stop it. it is almost liek a quick fix and for a short time i will feel confident and can come across as very happy and almost hyperactive. within days my moods can change and i once again feel depressed and self loathing. My moods are very up and down and i ahve always found relationships very hard to cope with. often having severe mood swings and ending relationships becasue of this. A few ex parteners have told em they think i am scitzophrenic and my most recent told me he thinks i am bipolar????? he is a very lovely bloke and it was not said in malice. I am now seriously wondering if i am??? i was diagnosed over 10 years ago with anxiety and always assumed my mood swings were due to depression but now i think he could be right???? when my anxiety has been acute i suffer from pyscosis (nothing is real and i feel completely detactched form reality) and i always go back to abusing alchohol and drugs and become sexualy irresponsible. a freidn told me this is possible and are signs of bipolar. im goign to go to my doctors on monday but would eb very grateful for any advice??