Dan G
02-07-07, 10:30
Hi all, I hope this is posted in the right place.
My girlfriend and I have been together for just over 2 years. She was suffering form panic attacks before we started going out but she got progressivley worse for the first year or so of our relationship. We decided to move in together after about 9 months.
At its worst she could barely leave the bedroom and it was very hard for her when i was at work. We worked hard at it and she started slowly getting better. We would work at things together setting goals etc and she is seeing a behavioral psychologist.
About 6 months ago she was a lot better and now has a full time job and pretty much leads a normal life.
Then yesterday we were just talking and out of the blue she said she was thinking of moving out. Maybe for 6 months or so.
Its not to do with problems in out relationship but she says she needs to know that she can cope with everyday life without having to rely on me.
I can understand the need to know for sure that she is better. However it seemed to me that even if she did move out I would still be there for her. Before she moved in when she would really be struggling I would go over and see her no matter what time of day or night it was. And she also has friends and family who would also drop everything if she needed them.
Things then took a turn for the horrible and she said maybe we needed to break up so she would know for sure.
I asked her what it was that needed to happen before she would feel confident that she could cope by herself but she couldnt really explain it.
I tried to talk her out of it. I tried relating it to not knowing how you would cope if someone died or someone cheated on the other person and that these were things that come with being in a relationship. Trust issues i suppose and the fact you are making yourself vulnerable by putting your happiness in the hands of someone else. I was saying that there are always things you cant know until they happen for real.
I think she understood what i was saying but it didnt change her mind.
I love her very very much and I;m desperate not to lose her. Can anyone offer any advice in this situation? Is it wrong to want to keep her with me?
My girlfriend and I have been together for just over 2 years. She was suffering form panic attacks before we started going out but she got progressivley worse for the first year or so of our relationship. We decided to move in together after about 9 months.
At its worst she could barely leave the bedroom and it was very hard for her when i was at work. We worked hard at it and she started slowly getting better. We would work at things together setting goals etc and she is seeing a behavioral psychologist.
About 6 months ago she was a lot better and now has a full time job and pretty much leads a normal life.
Then yesterday we were just talking and out of the blue she said she was thinking of moving out. Maybe for 6 months or so.
Its not to do with problems in out relationship but she says she needs to know that she can cope with everyday life without having to rely on me.
I can understand the need to know for sure that she is better. However it seemed to me that even if she did move out I would still be there for her. Before she moved in when she would really be struggling I would go over and see her no matter what time of day or night it was. And she also has friends and family who would also drop everything if she needed them.
Things then took a turn for the horrible and she said maybe we needed to break up so she would know for sure.
I asked her what it was that needed to happen before she would feel confident that she could cope by herself but she couldnt really explain it.
I tried to talk her out of it. I tried relating it to not knowing how you would cope if someone died or someone cheated on the other person and that these were things that come with being in a relationship. Trust issues i suppose and the fact you are making yourself vulnerable by putting your happiness in the hands of someone else. I was saying that there are always things you cant know until they happen for real.
I think she understood what i was saying but it didnt change her mind.
I love her very very much and I;m desperate not to lose her. Can anyone offer any advice in this situation? Is it wrong to want to keep her with me?