Newbie from Devon/Newcastle - I'll explain!

[Kittymarie]

Hi all! I'm kittymarie from Devon. Currently living in Newcastle while I'm undertaking a PhD, but for mental health reasons I'm moving home early - end of next month! I'm both delighted and terrified - it's a big move and I have so much to do. And I just can't live up here without my husband, anymore. Over the past two years, my anxiety has got the better of me again and I'm struggling to get my work done. I'm even struggling to see people and get out of the house some days... My coping mechanism is music. I have to listen to it when I'm out. It somehow makes me feel less vulnerable.

I'm not on any medication right now. A few years ago I was on anti-depressants - citalopram, prozac - they got me stable enough to start getting better. But moving away from my family for the PhD seems to have reversed my progress. I was seeing a counsellor earlier in the year who was fantastic, but I was only allowed to see him for so long as it was through the uni and they put a cap on the length of time (I got 12 weeks, I think). Soon after I stopped seeing him, maybe a month or so, I stopped making progress again.

I think I'm blabbering on too much so I'll leave it there! I have no wifi till I move home so I'll be online intermittently... But I will try to get on the forum as often as I can as this seems like a great place to start getting better.

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya Kittymarie and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[Kittymarie]

Thank you! The articles are my next stop. As soon as I get to the library! Can't spend too long using my phone data...

[Carys]

Hiyer Kittiemarie,

I think you are AMAZING to be honest. Despite the mental health problems you talk of, you've carried on with very high level studies a long way from home and your husband. Yes, youve struggled but not given in and have carried on achieving. I think you are such a strong person and I'm sure once your move back home is completed you can concentrate again on you feeling better in yourself.

[GiovanniNL]

Welcome!

[Kittymarie]

Thanks for the warm welcome!

Thank you, Carys! Most days I feel like I'm not doing enough or I'm not good enough... It's been so hard not to quit. Just eight months left now, so I'm nearly there. I think I will feel better at home. Thank you for your supportive and kind words!

[Carys]

So, are you moving home but carrying on your PHD once back there for another 8 months ?

[Kittymarie]

Moving home to finish the PhD. Eight months till the deadline for submission! Hopefully being at home will help me finish.