Hearing my voice in my head telling me to do things

[Wilburis]

Hello

Is it normal to hear your own voice in your head telling you to do bad things to yourself?

Also, we went out on Saturday and when I looked in the mirror to put on some make up I didn recognise myself - it wasn't me.

[ankietyjoe]

Hi

I wouldn't say this is typical, although people do often have extreme hallucination type symptoms.

Have you been suffering any severe stress lately, or even in the past? Stress that couldn't be described as day to day.

[Wilburis]

Hello

Yes I am very stressed.

As soon as I wake up, my heart pounds, I wake up and cry that today will be the same as yesterday.

I cannot sleep, cannot sit still.

My mind is constantly racing.

I find I get this voice as soon as the kids have gone to school and I am alone. I also get it when the kids argue or I get stressed about something. I get stressed about everything.

xx

[MyNameIsTerry]

Intrusive thoughts can manifest as voices in the head. It can be your own voice or someone else's.

I would suggest reading about them because you will see how whilst they can be very scary people don't act on them.

Everyone can have intrusive thoughts but they are very common in anxiety sufferers. This may pass if you are under a lot of stress right now but if not and they become a feature of your anxiety it just means you have something to tackle underneath the anxiety umbrella.

Many people with HA are going to be OCD sufferers. When they get thoughts about their health worries they may be intrusive thoughts. Some of these people find they have other themes of intrusive thoughts too.

So, do you have OCD? If so, if this doesn't go away it only means you are experiencing another theme within OCD. In this case it sounds like harm based intrusive thoughts and many on here have had them, including me.

[ankietyjoe]

It's worth trying to decipher the difference between a voice inside your head and literally hearing a voice. There is a subtle but significant difference. The fact that the OP also see's a different person in the mirror leads me to suspect it's something else.

I would suggest that the OP is actually severely stressed (possibly more so than most people here) or that some event in the past may be at play here.

There's ways to deal with all of these things, but identifying which kind of 'voice' it is, is important imo.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think the mirror issue needs exploring too but it could be DP and that commonly occurs in high stress periods.

More info needed and the OP could consider whether the current stress levels are more extreme than anything experienced before. Any trauma that could be a trigger.

[Wilburis]

Hi

Thank you so much for your replies.

I always thought if you heard a voice it would be someone elses but the voice I hear is mine, telling me to do things. I don't want to say what it is though and upset anyone, but it's not good.

It is very upsetting too looking in the mirror and seeing someone else staring back - is this depersonalisation? (sp)

I am highly stressed about everything, and do have OCD too. xx

[ankietyjoe]

Is there a significant/traumatic event that happened some time in your past, something that happened to you or something you saw/witnessed? This can often be crucial to identifying why this is happening to you.

[Leslie735]

This is actually how my anxiety began many years ago. I always thought it was an OCD thing. Mine came out as myself telling me to perform rituals to keep bad things from occurring. For example, I'd be going for a walk and I'd tell myself to walk right of that stick on the ground for something bad will happen. Another, I couldn't wear a certain color or shirt or whatever if something happened the last time I wore it.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Joe will know more about the subject of real voices so I'll defer to him.

As far as intrusive thoughts go, they can definitely be in what you perceive as your internal voice or external one.

They are who dystonic by definition, the opposite of true character & beliefs. That's why they shock.

In an OCD sufferer when you ramp up anxiety you see an increase in intensity of them. As anxiety decreases, so do the thoughts.

They also tend to aim for the most shocking things to us because they are part of a cycle of reinforcement in the fear cycle. Reacting with negatives like panic reinforce them hence why we learn to not feed them with our reactions and the subconscious learns that are not important and they go.

Whether you want to discuss them is up to you but please be re assured if you were posting on the OCD board it wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary to many of us as we've had them too.

DP/DR can bring some very strange sounding experiences. Other posters have talked about feeling loved ones aren't who they thought or even alien, a limb doesn't seem like your own, you think you aren't attached to the floor, etc. There are many.

I wonder if this is just a new theme in intrusive thoughts for you? Themes can change as none of these themes are the real issue, the OCD is and diagnosis is about cycles & behaviours rather than the context of the themes.

[Wilburis]

Thank you all.

I don't want to post what Im being told to do, I think you can imagine what it is.

I have to keep in routines otherwise something bad may happen. i may jinx it.

Ive got to get the kids from school but Ill be back later.

Thank you again xx

[Benjammin69]

Hi,

I was wondering about this as I have very intrusive thoughts and ideas... I was toying with whether it was a voice or a thought. I think if it’s your own voice it is more than likely an intrusive thought .... if it’s someone else’s voice then I think that’s when you need to consider psychosis... intrusive thoughts can be from anxiety and depression... not giving yourself a break. It is always harder on your own as there is nothing to stimulate your mind.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ankietyjoe]

Thank you all.

I don't want to post what Im being told to do, I think you can imagine what it is.

I have to keep in routines otherwise something bad may happen. i may jinx it.

Ive got to get the kids from school but Ill be back later.

Thank you again xx

What you're describing is very, very similar to something I'm familiar with (my partner suffers from the condition).

Hers was brought on by severe physical trauma at childbirth, which brought up prolonged trauma from her childhood.

The routines are something she's 100% locked in to.

[MyNameIsTerry]

The routines can also be compulsions. Compulsions to prevent a feared scenario occurring. That's absolutely typical of OCD.

Everything mentioned can be seen in OCD. Nearly every thread posted on the OCD board is about intrusive thoughts since I joined.

Much of OCD can be seen outside of it so there can be overlaps seen between even normal non anxious behaviour until it escalates into a disorder.

[Wilburis]

Thanks again guys

I have seen psychiatrists who say my issues started with my father's death. He had a chest infection, went into hospital, got pneumonia, we were told the next day that he had a week to live. He died 6 days later.

This was 10 years ago, I still cannot look at a photo of him, I have tears rolling down my face typing his about him.

I did feel slightly better when my hubby and kids got home yesterday but I just can't sit still in the evening. I keep going into the kitchen and potter around.

Im cold all the time. I thought when you are anxious, you get hot. Im like an iceblock. The only good thing about this is making everyone jump when i touch them with my icy fingers!

Hope everyone has a good day

xx

[ankietyjoe]

I'm sorry to hear that, grief is awful.

Definitely sounds like PTSD to me, and it can manifest itself like you're experiencing now some years after the event.

It's definitely treatable, although it's not really the same thing as anxiety.

I would suggest talking to your psychiatrist about the possibility of it being PTSD, and treating it accordingly. Your symptoms match my some of my partners almost exactly.

[Wilburis]

hello ankietyjoe

Im sorry to hear about your partner.

Ive always been told i have GAD, not depression just sadness.

i only get about 10 minutes with my NHS psychiarist and TBH, I don really like him.

I paid to see someone privately in London and she gave me Buspar. It gave me pins and needles, numbness, flickering eyes and brain zaps. It was awful. She didnt believe me. Why on earth would i lie/

Also, another thing. My sister has Brugada syndrome and her cardiologist won't gene test her which is wha she wants.

My son says he gets palpitations, so I took him privately to see someone in London. we were then referred to the Royal Brompton Hospital and they said they want to see my sister and gene test her. Wonderful new I thought!

My sister said she won't go and ask to be referred, even though i have letters and even a special form the GP just has to fill out! Apparently I do not care about her and her kids! Erm, hello, Ive just got what you wanted!

My hubby says she doesn't like the fact that ive done it - she likes the control.

If they found the gene in her, the whole family would be tested. The Brompton is the best heart hospital in Europe1

This too, has given me more anxiety.

I do not have any contact with my family. I used to drive them around and be at their beck and call for years. Hubby would go round a the drop of a hat to help them, even leaving his dinner half way through!

Well, i had enough, and walked away. Now they ring up only when they want something.

my mother always favoured that sister as she got pregnant accidently at a young age. Then again. Single parent, working, bringing up 2 kids. Poor sister.

Im lucky apparently as i dont need to work, have a nice house, hubby, etc.

No one ever said that they are happy or proud of me that I have these things. It's always poor sister struggling.

i was always the one who left my one year old daughter with hubby as soon as he walked in from work to visit my dad in hospital after his stroke. i did that for 6 months. Never expected or wanted a thank you, i did it as I loved him. my mother barely went to visit, or would leave as soon as i turned up she couldnt wait to get away.

obviously, she stayed with him during the week he was dying doing her Saint Mary impression- the loving wife.

again, when my grandma was dying, i called my mother saying that she wasnt well and her fingers had started to go blue. she answered the phone as if i was inconveniencing her. My hubby offered to take her to see my grandma straight away. she did the sister Mary act again, people commenting how loving she was.

The sister has had a lot o trouble with her son, he is 18. We'd get a call TELLING my hubby to go round and sort him out. The son ran away last year and I went out to find him, calm him down and brought him to my house to stay overnight.

My sister turned up at my house in the morning, eldest daughter let her in, she woke my younger kids up by stampng up the stairs. My kids woke up saying, who is that? Are they going to kill us!

Then she screamed at me as the bathroom sink was dirty!

Sorry for my rambling xx

[Fishmanpa]

That's a lot of personal conflict and angst that could use some resolving. Mental burdens can be as debilitating as physical burdens. Sounds like some one on one therapy is in order.

Positive thoughts

[Benjammin69]

I know a great psychiatrist who is based in Harley street up London, DM me if you want his details he has a website etc and his fees ain’t bad but he has always been great when prescribing things and he prescribed things the NHS won’t due to costs.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Wilburis]

Hi benjamin

Wow!

Thank you, Ill DM you now.

I was seeing someone in Sloane Square but it was almost £300 an hour :ohmy::ohmy:

xx

[ankietyjoe]

hello ankietyjoe

Im sorry to hear about your partner.

Ive always been told i have GAD, not depression just sadness.

i only get about 10 minutes with my NHS psychiarist and TBH, I don really like him.

I paid to see someone privately in London and she gave me Buspar. It gave me pins and needles, numbness, flickering eyes and brain zaps. It was awful. She didnt believe me. Why on earth would i lie/

Also, another thing. My sister has Brugada syndrome and her cardiologist won't gene test her which is wha she wants.

My son says he gets palpitations, so I took him privately to see someone in London. we were then referred to the Royal Brompton Hospital and they said they want to see my sister and gene test her. Wonderful new I thought!

My sister said she won't go and ask to be referred, even though i have letters and even a special form the GP just has to fill out! Apparently I do not care about her and her kids! Erm, hello, Ive just got what you wanted!

My hubby says she doesn't like the fact that ive done it - she likes the control.

If they found the gene in her, the whole family would be tested. The Brompton is the best heart hospital in Europe1

This too, has given me more anxiety.

I do not have any contact with my family. I used to drive them around and be at their beck and call for years. Hubby would go round a the drop of a hat to help them, even leaving his dinner half way through!

Well, i had enough, and walked away. Now they ring up only when they want something.

my mother always favoured that sister as she got pregnant accidently at a young age. Then again. Single parent, working, bringing up 2 kids. Poor sister.

Im lucky apparently as i dont need to work, have a nice house, hubby, etc.

No one ever said that they are happy or proud of me that I have these things. It's always poor sister struggling.

i was always the one who left my one year old daughter with hubby as soon as he walked in from work to visit my dad in hospital after his stroke. i did that for 6 months. Never expected or wanted a thank you, i did it as I loved him. my mother barely went to visit, or would leave as soon as i turned up she couldnt wait to get away.

obviously, she stayed with him during the week he was dying doing her Saint Mary impression- the loving wife.

again, when my grandma was dying, i called my mother saying that she wasnt well and her fingers had started to go blue. she answered the phone as if i was inconveniencing her. My hubby offered to take her to see my grandma straight away. she did the sister Mary act again, people commenting how loving she was.

The sister has had a lot o trouble with her son, he is 18. We'd get a call TELLING my hubby to go round and sort him out. The son ran away last year and I went out to find him, calm him down and brought him to my house to stay overnight.

My sister turned up at my house in the morning, eldest daughter let her in, she woke my younger kids up by stampng up the stairs. My kids woke up saying, who is that? Are they going to kill us!

Then she screamed at me as the bathroom sink was dirty!

Sorry for my rambling xx

Well first things first, I would focus on YOU now. I have cut toxic family members out of my life, and I am a firm believer that blood in NOT thicker than water. I have good friends that will assist me at the drop of a hat, and vice versa.

As for 'not having to work', that's laughable. This modern notion that being a stay at home parent and bringing up children is easy, is f*@king ridiculous. I've done it, it's hard. Really hard.

Anyway.

This PTSD idea I have, it's hard to diagnose and there are lots of mental health professionals that just aren't qualified to deal with it.

I think it's an avenue worth exploring (although I still might be wrong). There are a couple of telltale signs that stand out for me.

PTSD often shows with very real visual and auditory hallucinations.

PTSD involving the death of someone close to you often illicits 'survivor guilt', including feelings of shame and self harm.

PTSD often leaves the sufferer confused about their own identity, and sometimes this will manifest itself with alternate identities (not being able to recognise yourself in the mirror being a telltale sign of this). The reason for this is that in times of extreme stress or trauma, the brain sometimes cannot cope and effectively freezes that moment. If you can't consciously deal with the pain, the brain can and does sometimes create an alternate personality to help you deal with it.

Given your family troubles, I would imagine anxiety/GAD/panic disorder or whatever you want to call it IS a big factor in how you are feeling, but I would also investigate the PTSD angle too. The death of a loved one IS a significant factor in developing PTSD type conditions.

[Benjammin69]

Hi benjamin



Wow!



Thank you, Ill DM you now.



I was seeing someone in Sloane Square but it was almost £300 an hour :ohmy::ohmy:



xx



No probs :)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Wilburis]

Hi

I know Im stressed as i can't relax.

Yesterday i did over 9,000 steps just walking around in my house and today, over 8,000.

Ive only got a 3 bedroom semi :blush: