Catsymoo
30-01-18, 23:52
Hi everyone. I am new here. I am 28 and decided to register as my anxiety is becoming too much to face alone and I need to talk to like minded people as I am too scared to see my doctor. I've always suffered from anxiety and depression in my late teens, and in 2012 I suffered domestic abuse and got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I've gotten worse and worse since then, but especially the last 2 months my life has really gone to pot. I was very sick in December with a stomach ulcer, which subsequently has caused me to lose control of my diabetes. I constantly live in fear of low blood sugar attacks as they are so traumatic for me. I purposely run my sugars higher to avoid going low, which equally is not healthy. My uncle has attempted suicide a few weeks ago, and now has gone missing for 2 weeks and is presumed dead. I have had a couple of days off of work because of this and now I have been called in for a disciplinary and I feel like this is too much and they are out to get me because I have become a ''problem employee'' despite being one of their top workers productivity wise.
I work a zero hour contract, and there isn't really a ''sick'' policy. Just if you don't show up to a shift without notifying anyone, they issue you a ''no show'' letter. If you get 3 no shows, you get a disciplinary. I've had 3 now but the circumstances were not fair at all. 2 were family emergencies, and one I refused to go to because it broke the 11 hour rest break rule. My boss is perfectly aware of my situation with my uncle, and he doesn't care. The meeting is also 15 miles away from where I live, and I am expected to pay £20+ I can't even afford to get to the office in the middle of nowhere just to sit in a room and be verbally attacked and made upset for reasons out of my control. They are not nice people and will not handle this in an understanding or compassionate, or even professional manner. My uncle is very mentally ill and we have no other family here, so he is a dependent to me and my mother.
I am starting to get stomach upsets and frequent trips to the bathroom because of such intense anxiety. I don't want to even leave the house to go to work because I work in different places every shift, sometimes a 4 hour drive, and I worry about my blood sugars and stomach so much because it's embarrassing. I get this horrible pit in my stomach feeling, which causes me to feel unwell and I can't even explain it except I want to just lay down. I get the shakes too.
I am trying my best to relax tonight but I can't stop thinking about the horrible email I am going to get tomorrow from work in reply to my email challenging the disciplinary invitation, including screenshots of texts sent to appropriate people when cancelling shifts. The worst part about this company is the erratic disciplinary. Depending on who you are is a deciding factor in whether they punish you or not. It's not fair. Some people don't show up a lot and laugh it off saying they ''didn't want to come in'', and they seemingly don't get penalized in the slightest.
I can feel my internal balloon on the verge of bursting, and I hate feeling like this. Any advice or words would be appreciated so much, or sharing of similar stories to distract from the feelings of dread. :weep:
I work a zero hour contract, and there isn't really a ''sick'' policy. Just if you don't show up to a shift without notifying anyone, they issue you a ''no show'' letter. If you get 3 no shows, you get a disciplinary. I've had 3 now but the circumstances were not fair at all. 2 were family emergencies, and one I refused to go to because it broke the 11 hour rest break rule. My boss is perfectly aware of my situation with my uncle, and he doesn't care. The meeting is also 15 miles away from where I live, and I am expected to pay £20+ I can't even afford to get to the office in the middle of nowhere just to sit in a room and be verbally attacked and made upset for reasons out of my control. They are not nice people and will not handle this in an understanding or compassionate, or even professional manner. My uncle is very mentally ill and we have no other family here, so he is a dependent to me and my mother.
I am starting to get stomach upsets and frequent trips to the bathroom because of such intense anxiety. I don't want to even leave the house to go to work because I work in different places every shift, sometimes a 4 hour drive, and I worry about my blood sugars and stomach so much because it's embarrassing. I get this horrible pit in my stomach feeling, which causes me to feel unwell and I can't even explain it except I want to just lay down. I get the shakes too.
I am trying my best to relax tonight but I can't stop thinking about the horrible email I am going to get tomorrow from work in reply to my email challenging the disciplinary invitation, including screenshots of texts sent to appropriate people when cancelling shifts. The worst part about this company is the erratic disciplinary. Depending on who you are is a deciding factor in whether they punish you or not. It's not fair. Some people don't show up a lot and laugh it off saying they ''didn't want to come in'', and they seemingly don't get penalized in the slightest.
I can feel my internal balloon on the verge of bursting, and I hate feeling like this. Any advice or words would be appreciated so much, or sharing of similar stories to distract from the feelings of dread. :weep: