braindead is still ilive

[braindead]

i have been in the shit hospital all the time i have been away, i had a mental crash 3 weeks after release i was put back in for my own safety, what a farce the same 5 mg of escitalopram and my trusty 6mg a day lorazepam. i am undergoing phyco therapy at home now, a right load of balls so far, i cannot change meds or the phyc won't work with me if i am in-between meds make it difficult, i have nothing to change to i have taken all the meds there is med bible. i cannot sleep at night at all my brain is trashed. the hospital i think i was in 10 something weeks with me and my ward mates had nothing to do. i was allowed out the building after a while to go to the superstore where i smuggled in vodka and bottles of coke to make life bearable i thing i am also a vodka freak now why not i have to sleep somehow, zopiclone didnt work on me made me more awake. if your not on a section after trust is built they allow you to walk the hospital grounds and later day visits home. i cannot get used to being home its to quite and no bright lights. i am still unwell and dont no what going to happen,i didnt want to kill myself my brain had just had enough:weep:

[Buster70]

Good to know you are still alive so there is still hope , I try to cling to that thought every day not wanting to let my family down .
Your post gives me the mental image of jack nickleson in one flew over cuckoos nest :D a couple of my buddies have ended up in psych wards one sneeked out and came to see me in his hospital dressing gown and slipppers , you've got to bloody laugh or you'd cry .
Take care chap , hope things pick up in some small way .

[fishman65]

Hey buddy, hang in there. It sounds like you've been through hell and back. I've never been in any kind of hospital before, more luck though than anything and there were two occasions when I really should have been. Are you getting support at home other than the psychotherapy? Agree with Buster there, definitely an image of Jack Nicholson I'm getting. Take good care.

[Lola-Lee]

Good that you are home, remember one day at a time :hugs: