Guilt over missing work?

[.Poppy.]

How do you cope with this?

I'm currently working two jobs - a full time one at my university and a part time one as a delivery driver because I'm trying to pay off my student loans ASAP.

Last night, while running my delivery route, my car broke down. It ended up being the battery and we got a new battery, but I was basically out for the rest of the night and I felt awful about it, but it couldn't be helped.

I'm scheduled to work tonight and I'm also scheduled to work Sunday (to help out in case we're busy during the Superbowl; I generally have Sundays off). The thing is, I just feel awful. I'm not trying to jump on the "flu bandwagon" because I don't necessarily think that's it, but I feel very under the weather and just extremely exhausted. I'm barely making it through my morning here at my regular job. I don't know if I can make it through the night shift tonight.

I'm also supposed to attend a baby shower that I've helped plan on Sunday. It's earlier than I'm scheduled to work, but it will be tight. My boss scheduled me in anyway because she knew I was dependable. There are people working besides me, I'd just be an extra hand.

I'm feeling like just a terrible person even just writing this out, but I so badly just want to tell her my car is still out of commission and that it's being fixed, don't know when it will be done. Part of my issue is physical, part is no doubt psychological, but I really just want to sleep for like 12 hours straight. And of course I feel like a terrible human being - like I'm letting her down, but also like I'm just lazy and incapable of doing anything right.

She's had a lot of people quit without even giving 2 weeks notice, so that can't be easy either. I'm just as bad as them, basically.

Any thoughts or advice? I'm feeling like I'm not even thinking straight right now. :weep:

[vicky23]

I can relate to this, I get so anxious if I have to ring in sick, I guess it's worry that they'll judge me. I've googled 'fear of ringing in sick' before and it's amazing how many people feel the same.
You say your boss put you in because she thinks you're reliable so I'm sure she will understand.
Try to give yourself some compassion if you can
Best wishes
X

[.Poppy.]

Thanks. xx

I ended up having to go into work anyway as no one could cover. I worked for about two and a half hours and then my car died again. I plan on just calling in sick on Sunday I think because my car's in the shop currently anyway.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Poppy,

If I'm honest with you I think quite a bit of the things you ask are quite normal to a young person starting out in the working world and the only issue is how much you add to that with anxiety that twists it into a bigger issue.

Worrying about upsetting someone or letting someone down is just part of being a good person with good morals. That shows you had a good upbringing and is a credit to your parents. Some people don't give a crap about who they let down and if the customer is sat at home with no power or no food, they don't give a crap. Some even laugh about it (some people who enjoy debt chasing, for instance).

Caring is a good thing, it will shape who you are as an employee and how you treat those around you and those who work for you as you progress. Those who don't give a crap will annoy colleagues who they dump on or don't support and as they progress through the ranks they will be the typical mercenary types who only look after themselves.

The only downside is you get dumped on by those types and used at times. But this is just part of maturing anyway and it's best to be that good person than the narcissistic type.

I do think you are a little hard on yourself. A car breaking down is just act of god stuff and whilst an employer may be annoyed they will know it's just one of those things. Anyone who's been a manager for a while has to learn to let such issues go anyway and ensure they account for them in their planning or they are not growing as managers. The same with illness, everyone is entitled to have some time to get well and bosses get ill too.