Falconbach
01-02-18, 20:09
Hi all,
I posted here in July last year when I was on my lowest point during this episode of Health anxiety. I had even worse episode in 2011 which I manage to come through with help of medicine.
Anyway, my main symptom which I focused on in last summer was double vision but I went to two eye doctors which told me that my eyes where fine except they were little dry. So I was told to use eye drops which I did.
Now here comes the problem, my eyes are rather sensitive and I can't use all eye drops so I use one particular brand of eye gel.
In November I was feeling rather good and the anxiety was receding and the double vision was almost unnoticable and I don't act on it if I notice that symptom because I know it's just my brain doing some tricks on me.
Now I clean my eyelids every morning by boiling water in a pot and let it cool first but in last days of November I noticed that something had contanimate my pot (something oil'y) but probably nothing to have worry about but my brain of course started to think the worst and I obsessed about cleaning that pot and it was never good enough so I ended up buying brand new one and I keep that completely separated from any possible contanimation stuff.
If that weren't enough my brand of eye gel was out of stock in my country and no one knew when it would arrive here again so I did skip using eye drops/gel for 2 weeks probably. I was too scared to try new brand - probably very foolish! :(
Anyway, I started to worry and of course notice my eyes a lot until new symptom of course appeared... now it was glare, halo and starburst around street lights and headlights of cars. And this is at time when everybody are putting up their Christmas lights and stuff so not easy to not notice the halo's and starbursts. :(
That had the affect that I got even more worried and did my biggest mistake, Googled "halo" and "starburst". And now when I'm writing this I have been Google'ing on and off for these past 2 months. :( Of course I check every day if these damn symptoms are there or not, of course it does nothing but making me feel worse.
And I even scheduled appointment with one of the eye doctors I saw last summer but I didn't get appointment until in April. :( I justified that by telling myself I need to know if I'm doing right treatment for my most probably dry eyes.
I'm trying to tell myself that likelyhood that I developed some vision problems, other than maybe worsening dry eye, in that short period of time and exactly when I was having anxiety and not getting any eye drops is very very slim.
I'm really angry at myself to allow myself to go back many steps in my process to healing. :(
Anyway, needed to vent a little.
I posted here in July last year when I was on my lowest point during this episode of Health anxiety. I had even worse episode in 2011 which I manage to come through with help of medicine.
Anyway, my main symptom which I focused on in last summer was double vision but I went to two eye doctors which told me that my eyes where fine except they were little dry. So I was told to use eye drops which I did.
Now here comes the problem, my eyes are rather sensitive and I can't use all eye drops so I use one particular brand of eye gel.
In November I was feeling rather good and the anxiety was receding and the double vision was almost unnoticable and I don't act on it if I notice that symptom because I know it's just my brain doing some tricks on me.
Now I clean my eyelids every morning by boiling water in a pot and let it cool first but in last days of November I noticed that something had contanimate my pot (something oil'y) but probably nothing to have worry about but my brain of course started to think the worst and I obsessed about cleaning that pot and it was never good enough so I ended up buying brand new one and I keep that completely separated from any possible contanimation stuff.
If that weren't enough my brand of eye gel was out of stock in my country and no one knew when it would arrive here again so I did skip using eye drops/gel for 2 weeks probably. I was too scared to try new brand - probably very foolish! :(
Anyway, I started to worry and of course notice my eyes a lot until new symptom of course appeared... now it was glare, halo and starburst around street lights and headlights of cars. And this is at time when everybody are putting up their Christmas lights and stuff so not easy to not notice the halo's and starbursts. :(
That had the affect that I got even more worried and did my biggest mistake, Googled "halo" and "starburst". And now when I'm writing this I have been Google'ing on and off for these past 2 months. :( Of course I check every day if these damn symptoms are there or not, of course it does nothing but making me feel worse.
And I even scheduled appointment with one of the eye doctors I saw last summer but I didn't get appointment until in April. :( I justified that by telling myself I need to know if I'm doing right treatment for my most probably dry eyes.
I'm trying to tell myself that likelyhood that I developed some vision problems, other than maybe worsening dry eye, in that short period of time and exactly when I was having anxiety and not getting any eye drops is very very slim.
I'm really angry at myself to allow myself to go back many steps in my process to healing. :(
Anyway, needed to vent a little.