View Full Version : Ive caught gonnarhea im married panic attacks so bad
BizzyLizzy
02-02-18, 17:59
So I was panicking about hiv on a previous post, ive caught gonnorhea, I keep having panic attacks , I cant go to work, my anxiety is giving me the worst heart banging. My husband finds out he will kill me
Catherine S
02-02-18, 18:32
So your 'clean' African one night stand wasn't so clean after all. I'm not so sure you can keep this from your husband...at least he might want to know why you can't have sex with him, which you obviously can't while you have gonorrhea. If you can get treatment for this disease without him knowing then maybe you'll get away with it, but I think perhaps those treating you for this would suggest telling him.
Personally I think he should know, as this is a highly infectious disease and its not really ok not to let him know he's sleeping with somebody who has it. But its your decision of course.
Good luck.
nomorepanic
02-02-18, 18:39
Hi
This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your post was moved from its original place to a sub-forum that is more relevant to your issue.
This is nothing personal - it just enables us to keep posts about the same problems in the relevant forums so other members with any experience with the issues can find them more easily.
Please also read this post:
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=213239
MyNameIsTerry
02-02-18, 18:43
Question: You were panicking over HIV hence got tested. Your one night stand insists he's clean. So, could you have had this longer?
BizzyLizzy
02-02-18, 19:12
This is what im wondering, other guy is going to the clinic, he was in shock too, I feel so ****ing shit,my hisbamd is abusive and scares me anyway, ive got councelling booked weds, ive only slept with hubby once since this guy , I just hope I.dont wake up.tommorrow
Hmm not so sure Terry I don't think gonnarhea shows symptoms that quick so I have been told 14 days at least, antibiotics will be given but I would ask why when you have a husband perhaps if the relationship isn't going well (Iam only guessing here) either seek counselling with your husband as to why you did this. RE HIV tests you can get a 20 min one pretty accurate too then retest at 3 months They will also take a blood sample too the results you get back in a week! HTH I see your husband is abusive which cant be easy for you and you are having counselling too, I hope that helps ATB
BizzyLizzy
02-02-18, 21:08
Its a long story, my husband is very controlling, he hates me basically, I sought affection elsewhere now I have this
Catherine S
02-02-18, 21:15
Lizzy, you've just been unlucky. But if you think your abusive husband will turn on you, you need some protection. Without asking too much from you, can you not confide in somebody? Family or friends? Do you have children? I know it's not easy...been there done that myself in the past and managed to get a room in a women's refuge with my youngest daughter. It was really bad leaving everything behind, but it put me on the road to better things.
Cath x
BizzyLizzy
02-02-18, 22:56
How am I going to tell him, I feel so.shit
WiseMonkey
02-02-18, 23:19
Hi,
Yes, the situation needs to be addressed and you do have to take full responsibility for seeking affection elsewhere!
The first course of action is to get yourself treated (antibiotics) and have the HIV test. Both these can be done confidentially. Depending on when your last encounter (with the other man) took place, the HIV test is reliable at 8 weeks after exposure. Talk to the Dr at the clinic about what's happened.
Then take some time by yourself to think things through about your marriage. Talk to a counselor by yourself and look at the options.
If your marriage is abusive (physically or verbally) then your husband is not likely to change and you may choose to leave.
You should tell your husband about the affair but I'd wait until you get your HIV results back. There's no point in telling him about this if you're negative, it's irrelevant.
ps. I was in a verbally abusive marriage, which I terminated. It was the best thing I ever did :)
All the best with it all x
BizzyLizzy
02-02-18, 23:29
Luckily the other man is being very supportive, however even.though my husband is abusive he doesnt deserve this, I.feel.terible , think im.better off ending my life
Catherine S
02-02-18, 23:34
You live in the UK, so perhaps you should be talking to the Samaritans if that's really how you feel. You shouldn't really be asking people here to talk you out of suicide. Nobody here is trained to do that.
WiseMonkey
02-02-18, 23:52
You live in the UK, so perhaps you should be talking to the Samaritans if that's really how you feel. You shouldn't really be asking people here to talk you out of suicide. Nobody here is trained to do that.
Hi,
I think someone asked the question, "Do you have children"? if so you do need to think about your responsibilities, but also do what Catherine S suggested.
Take care :)
MyNameIsTerry
03-02-18, 02:06
Hmm not so sure Terry I don't think gonnarhea shows symptoms that quick so I have been told 14 days at least, antibiotics will be given but I would ask why when you have a husband perhaps if the relationship isn't going well (Iam only guessing here) either seek counselling with your husband as to why you did this. RE HIV tests you can get a 20 min one pretty accurate too then retest at 3 months They will also take a blood sample too the results you get back in a week! HTH I see your husband is abusive which cant be easy for you and you are having counselling too, I hope that helps ATB
The assumption is that this has come from that other guy. But couldn't it also have come from the husband and therefore the other guy might end up with it due to this?
Just wondering.
As for the abusive husband, I would urge caution in telling him if he is physically abusive. Put your safety beyond his feelings in this case if he is.
Personally Bizzy I wouldn't say anything, but now you have to think about you. It's never easy living in a controlling/abusive relationship and more often than not the injured party (you) Is made to feel worthless and is told you will never find anyone else cause of xyz so feel you. You don't have to stay with him there are options which you could discuss with family and friends or the counsellor. Personally Bizzy I wouldn't say anything to him not if he like you say he is. For now get the gonnarhea cured and the HIV test taken and then try and move on Take care ATB
I agree with some other posts above, I would urge caution and not be saying anything about this to your partner right now. Wait and see your counsellor on Wednesday, this situation needs discussing objectively with some direct advice from someone who knows you (and someone who has access to a real life support network for you).
Keep the samaritans number on your phone, as Catherine stated above. Sometimes a situation, like the one you are in, can feel so desperate and so awful that there is no way out of it, but this will pass...and this current scenario will become a memory. If you feel the way you state you do, then please make sure you reach out to those who can help you - family, a doctor, a counsellor, a good friend.
BizzyLizzy
03-02-18, 12:16
I just cant believe it, the om is at the clinic now, he says he has had no symptoms and cant believe it. My husband is currently stonewalling me anyway, its like living in a prison here, never know what he is going to do. We have both been on penicillin for tonsilitus im praying that may have cleared it if he has.it. I cant tell him he will go mental.
Let me get this right Bizzy. You and your hubby are both on Penicillin for tonsillitus and you are hoping the tablets will get rid of the gonnarhea too well the clinic would give a cillin type antibiotic so it may help but sometimes the dose and type may be different for eg: Doxycillin So do make sure the gonnarhea is gone your dr wont know so it's back to the clinic to check it's totally gone! I am glad the om is supportive towards you :) Think eventually you will have to move on from the abusive relationship as it's not helping you :) ATB
BizzyLizzy
03-02-18, 12:56
Yes im being treated on monday, then have to be re tested after 7 days, im supposed to be taking my daughter swimming, promised her for 2 weeks.now, but im so down, I just keep crying, feel like such a shit mum
That's good :) No you mustn't think like that, you aren't a bad mum atall it's that brute you live with he is bringing you down and makes you feel bad about your self. You deserve better Bizzy :hugs:ATB
BizzyLizzy
03-02-18, 13:06
He is completely blanking me, ive just got a new job, he has.been no support at all, in fact my first week he was blanking me all togther, he makes me drink to try and block him out, which he uses against me, this om was a safe place for me, I felt safe with him, now this, he has just taken my youngest out , I feel so bad for her, but she better off out then watching me cry all the time
I think emotionally you are in a bad place at the moment talk through the options with your counsellor as there are options that's the good thing. Could you stay at the om's place? or with your mum/dad? Till you decide what to do!! So who has taken your youngest out the hubby or this om?
BizzyLizzy
03-02-18, 16:03
My hubby has my little one, I dont want to leave the children, I have to go home
Of course and that's understandable but you need to think seriously your next step other wise you are going to be in a rut for ever I hope this wont be the case I feel your pain as I too have been abused by ppl in my life so understand where you are at. ATB
BizzyLizzy
03-02-18, 19:43
Thank.you big boy uk, om went.to.walk in today he is all treated now he gets results in a week, wish I had gone with him now.ffs
You are welcome Bizzy :) You say he is all treated now as in he did have gonnareha ? Or you mean he has been tested and awaiting results? Are you clear or haven't you had tests I know its only 3 pages long but that's how bad my short term memory is ahh so my apologies if you have had tests. ATB
BizzyLizzy
03-02-18, 21:26
No he got treated as he said he had sex with me and ive been tested as positive so they.treated him as a precaution, his results as if he carried it will come thru next week as he did a urine test x
You need to wait - apart from anything else, if the ons guy is clear, then you have obviously caught it from your husband.
Which would change quite a lot, wouldn't it...
Also are you tested and have received treatment as yet? ATB
BizzyLizzy
04-02-18, 08:18
I was tested on the 24th got the reults back as positive for gon last thursday the earliest they can get me in fro treament is tomoz at 5
---------- Post added at 08:18 ---------- Previous post was at 08:17 ----------
Im pretty sure its not from my husband, he never goes anywhere !
I was tested on the 24th got the reults back as positive for gon last thursday the earliest they can get me in fro treament is tomoz at 5
---------- Post added at 08:18 ---------- Previous post was at 08:17 ----------
Im pretty sure its not from my husband, he never goes anywhere ! I just find it hard that they didn't start treatment even though you got your results back last Thursday and they will start treatment tomorrow that's terrible ATB
BizzyLizzy
04-02-18, 12:43
They couldnt fit me in
They couldnt fit me inThat's not good though just another confirmation the NHS is nearly crippled It should be up to a 2 week course of antibiotics do complete the course though most important :) On the other thing which is more damaging long term is your happiness have you thought what you might do about this? ATB
BizzyLizzy
04-02-18, 15:55
Its an injection and 2 pills u take there and then, no , he being nice as pie now, you see how he ****s,with my head, I need to escape, I cant face another year like this.
Its an injection and 2 pills u take there and then, no , he being nice as pie now, you see how he ****s,with my head, I need to escape, I cant face another year like this. Yes that will be a high dose for the pills probably 250mg or 500mg each still think they could have sorted that out there and then, but that's the NHS for you ;) ahh that will be a false sense of security as you know only too well, and yes you do need to escape another year would just be terrible to go through, you will see the door open in your mind and that will be it no looking back :) Good luck you will get there ATB
Im pretty sure its not from my husband, he never goes anywhere !
So does that mean there are other possibilities? If it's not the ONS guy?
BizzyLizzy
04-02-18, 17:50
No its either ons man or hubby, ons man gets results next week they treated his as a precaution as he told them ny results
What I don't get if they treated the om, did they do tests before they treated him? As now he has had precautionary treatment so anything he did have is now gone! ATB
BizzyLizzy
04-02-18, 18:23
Did all tests first, checked his bits and bibs, said no visual symptoms, then they treated him, his urine and blood results come bck.next week
If your husband is abusive LEAVE HIM, I’m begging you.
I know this is easier said than done but you are so much better than this.
Keep us updated on those results and what your next move is! ATB
BizzyLizzy
04-02-18, 18:57
He has basically ignored me all weekend, said he is leaving me , makes me feel so unwanted in my own home. Then today like a switch went he being as nice as pie , its so confusing
---------- Post added at 18:57 ---------- Previous post was at 18:57 ----------
I will keep u all updated
I can imagine its awful feeling to go through on tender hooks all the time! Is it your home out right? Stay strong :) ATB
BizzyLizzy
04-02-18, 21:22
No we rent, he is in spare room again, my anxiety is through the roof as im panicking maybe he has symptoms which is why he in other room, I hate it here
No we rent, he is in spare room again, my anxiety is through the roof as im panicking maybe he has symptoms which is why he in other room, I hate it here It's certainly not helping you. When you have the good moments have you talked to him about what problems he may have? Men often wont talk about it because it can make them feel weak and not manly if that makes sense so a MH condition could be a underlying problem here, just a thought :) I do hope you can sort out your differences though:yesyes: ATB
DO yourself a favour, just run away text him let him know he got clap and call it a day, if he abusive and agressive this really isnt going to help and he will hold onto it forever! i watched my dad being abusive to mum for years and the best thing she ever did was just get up with me and my brother and leave! We never went back and she the happiest she been in 22 years .... If she stayed it would of only got worst they did all the treatments blah blah and it was an utter waste of time! If he had a bad upbringing or a tramautic past the problem wont lay with your marriage but with him and for that he will have to go get help himself.
thats my advice because lets be honest! he not going to laugh at this regradless if he drove you to go into a another mans bed.
DO yourself a favour, just run away text him let him know he got clap and call it a day, if he abusive and agressive this really isnt going to help and he will hold onto it forever! i watched my dad being abusive to mum for years and the best thing she ever did was just get up with me and my brother and leave! We never went back and she the happiest she been in 22 years .... If she stayed it would of only got worst they did all the treatments blah blah and it was an utter waste of time! If he had a bad upbringing or a tramautic past the problem wont lay with your marriage but with him and for that he will have to go get help himself.
thats my advice because lets be honest! he not going to laugh at this regradless if he drove you to go into a another mans bed.Hi Boydo Yeah I agree totally on what you say, but in essence it's easier said than done :) Bizzy has to have some where to go plus there is child to think of too and I guess Bizzy feels trapped, and a leopard never changes their spots either I wish we could do more for Bizzy :) ATB
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