dejavu
03-07-07, 19:55
It's been a year since i was last on this site and so much has changed I was though i'd pass on the message that things do get better.
This time 12 months ago i was consumed by panic. I had to leave work, started shopping online and eventually stopped going outside of the house. At one point i was having attacks so frequently i even refused to leave my bedroom.
September came and i had a little girl. It feels like she saved my life. I had to be physically dragged to hospital due to complications. It was the most difficult thing i have ever done. Admittedly i discharged myself from hospital as soon as i was conscious enough to do so.
My mum took the baby out for fresh air and even for her first portrait sitting when she was 5 weeks old. The pictures arrived just in time for christmas. She looked so happy and i'd missed it all. By then i'd had enough and started walking in the garden. After a week i took her the corner shop. I started therapy 2 weeks later at the local surgery. Time went on and there were times when it was so difficult I cried myself to sleep.
However i finally beat it. In March i went back to work part time and i love the independence it gives me. I've just returned from a holiday in Florida - paid for by my family as an incentive for me. My daughter, now 9 months old enjoyed every second.
That 1 week away has been worth every second of what I consider to be the worst week of my life.
I wish and hope that those of you who struggle one day find the same peace. I can't lie. I still have difficult moments, and days. But the o.k days are so much more important.
Good luck!:)
This time 12 months ago i was consumed by panic. I had to leave work, started shopping online and eventually stopped going outside of the house. At one point i was having attacks so frequently i even refused to leave my bedroom.
September came and i had a little girl. It feels like she saved my life. I had to be physically dragged to hospital due to complications. It was the most difficult thing i have ever done. Admittedly i discharged myself from hospital as soon as i was conscious enough to do so.
My mum took the baby out for fresh air and even for her first portrait sitting when she was 5 weeks old. The pictures arrived just in time for christmas. She looked so happy and i'd missed it all. By then i'd had enough and started walking in the garden. After a week i took her the corner shop. I started therapy 2 weeks later at the local surgery. Time went on and there were times when it was so difficult I cried myself to sleep.
However i finally beat it. In March i went back to work part time and i love the independence it gives me. I've just returned from a holiday in Florida - paid for by my family as an incentive for me. My daughter, now 9 months old enjoyed every second.
That 1 week away has been worth every second of what I consider to be the worst week of my life.
I wish and hope that those of you who struggle one day find the same peace. I can't lie. I still have difficult moments, and days. But the o.k days are so much more important.
Good luck!:)