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up a ladder
03-02-18, 21:18
Hi all.
I have had anxiety and depression on and off for 25 years or so since I was 25.
I have had long periods of anxiety that tend to lead to depression. The latest episode has knocked me for six and I have been in what seems like a permenant state of anxiety for nearly a month now. I have never had the physical feelings for as long a period.
Is it unusual to have the heart racing , permenant stomach issues and state of fear for weeks at a time? I am sure when I look back that there were days of feeling "normal" then a couple of days of feeling "anxious".
I am also concerned as I seem to be getting a little agoraphobic. I have three dogs that I previously enjoyed walking 3 times a day, but now have to force myself to walk.
Homelife also taking a bit of a belting as I have previously managed to keep this to myself and wife and kids not really knowing anything is wrong. I have not managed to do this and have now scared my 13 year old son who saw me in a bit of a meltdown. My wife is not impressed and keeps telling me I have to pull myself together.
All in all 2018 has started rather badly for me.

Please be honest, but should I be trying harder to keep my self together..

Speranza
03-02-18, 21:27
Hi, sorry you are feeling like this. Everyone I know seems to have had an incredibly tough January.

Anyway in answer to your question - yes, it is normal if things are escalating.

Are you on any meds at all? I've just been through this and realised that I had come to the point where I needed to go back and ask if I needed Prozac again. But in fact the doctor got in first!

I've just read your post again and realised that you have been hiding this... for how long? I assume this means you haven't ever been for help..? I would definitely go to see your GP and ask for meds and counselling if it's on offer where you are.

up a ladder
03-02-18, 21:40
I have been on medication before and had some CBT 17 years ago (quite a while ago now I have written it down). I was put on Sertraline, but the side effects made the GP take me off them after 2 weeks.
I am due to see a MHICS therapist on Tuesday and my GP has referred me to a Phsyciatrist to review my meds.
I am actually quite worried as I dont really know what to do should I carry on and push myself through. The local crisis team basically said I had to try and return to normality or it will just get harder.

vnb80
03-02-18, 22:04
I have suffered Anxiety and panic attacks for about 15 years, I’m on fluoxetine but some days are still bad. Partner says it’s all in my head which I hate.


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up a ladder
03-02-18, 22:14
I have suffered Anxiety and panic attacks for about 15 years, I’m on fluoxetine but some days are still bad. Partner says it’s all in my head which I hate.


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I know what you mean. I agree it is all in our heads, but that hardly helps. As much as I would not wish this affliction on anyone, I sometimes would like people to know what it can be like for just one day. I am pretty sure people would have a very different view.

Speranza
03-02-18, 22:18
I have been on medication before and had some CBT 17 years ago (quite a while ago now I have written it down). I was put on Sertraline, but the side effects made the GP take me off them after 2 weeks.
I am due to see a MHICS therapist on Tuesday and my GP has referred me to a Phsyciatrist to review my meds.
I am actually quite worried as I dont really know what to do should I carry on and push myself through. The local crisis team basically said I had to try and return to normality or it will just get harder.

I have to say that doesn't sound as though it came from people with much empathy for MH issues.

It's true that we have to try not to go under, but for me if I get bad enough (which isn't that often, fortunately) then 'trying' just adds to the stress and anxiety. One thing I learned when I came on here a few years ago was how very very fortunate I was that the first drug I tried was the right one for me. It is very often not the case. A friend of mine is on something now which isn't working for her, but I can't get her to understand that a different drug might work.

You need a meds review I think... that will be useful. Have a look through this forum and it will give you some ideas about what you could ask about. T0ake a little control if possible (ie by being informed and working towards decisions WITH the doctor) because anxiety robs us of that.

I'm still not clear about how much of this your wife knows. When you say you have tried to hide it from her - the whole history, every time you've had it? Or this particular episode? I doubt you've been successful in hiding it, but she sounds a bit lacking in understanding too. It would be good for you to get some help - and maybe some advice on how to talk to her about it.

up a ladder
03-02-18, 22:37
My wife knew I had odd spells where specific issues made me anxious for a few days or so, but I tended to keep myself under control infront of her and definitely the kids. She knew when we got together about 22 years ago that I had short periods of anxiety and depression. This is the first time I have ever taken time off or been honest about how bad I actually feel. I think I understand what the Crisis team meant and I probably made it sound more harsg than it was put. I tried to explain to both them and my wife (it was a home visit and my wife was with us) that when I get to the lowest levels, it is damned near impossible to drag myself up. They were explaining that I had to "intercept" my thoughts and feelings before I sank to that level. Again, far easier said than done.
There is definitely a different view on medication between the MH team and the GP. The MH team are of the opinion that it is best dealt with without medication.
I am making them sound very unhelpful and I dont mean to as I am truly grateful for their support over the last couple of weeks, but they have kind of left me feeling a bit alone at sea.

Speranza
03-02-18, 23:23
It's surprising how often MH teams seem to buy into the meds taboo.

I'm a Christian. I preach. I tell people about God's love, comfort and care and I utterly believe it.

But I also sometimes need Prozac. Sometimes we need medication. I'm sure you can see that logically it's like saying a broken leg is best dealt with without using crutches and a plaster... :wacko: