Jimbobby
06-02-18, 19:41
Hi guys,
I'm not sure if I am experiencing anxiety/depression and need some advice if you could help. I will try and some up briefly my situation below if you could take the time to read it would be greatly appreciated.
About 4 years ago I was in a good place but there is a specific moment I remember I started to get wrapped up in my head.
I went out drinking with family and freinds and ended getting absolutely paralytic, any way I ended up groping a woman inappropriately! It wasn't anything too serious from what I'm told or remember but obviously wrong. After waking up the thought of me doing it hit me like a train and I became flooded with guilt to a ridiculous degree! Constantly playing it over and over in my mind and imagining people judging me and condemning me, I felt as if I'd stained myself in some way even though I knew it was ridiculous I couldn't shake it.
I carried on like that for almost 2 and a half years having periods when it wasn't bothering me to having it pop into my mind shaking it off and repeating.
That was until around 12 months ago when I heard of a local guy who was apparently a peodphile and committed suicide then the guy from the band "Linkin Park" who also killed himself and all of a sudden the thought popped into my head "what if you ended up doing that" it was instant and I felt it grab me.
Now that has completely taken over my mind all I can think of is "what if" "what if" or "you might be depressed and end up doing that" constantly trying to find comparisons with myself and others who have done it.
I have absolutely no desire to do that and it's ridiculous! I have a loving wife (who I've shared with) a good group of friends, 2 great kids and a steady income but it has struck a chord and now everything I do seems to remind me of it and it's having a strain on my life to some degree.
Ive done lots of tests online and keep scoring relatively low on the anxiety and depression also I'm am on week 6 of at home mindfullness course which is helping a little. But there is obviously and issue and I would just like some advice from anyone more expirianced in this.
Am I depressed/suffering from anxiety??
Thanks for reading. :)
I'm not sure if I am experiencing anxiety/depression and need some advice if you could help. I will try and some up briefly my situation below if you could take the time to read it would be greatly appreciated.
About 4 years ago I was in a good place but there is a specific moment I remember I started to get wrapped up in my head.
I went out drinking with family and freinds and ended getting absolutely paralytic, any way I ended up groping a woman inappropriately! It wasn't anything too serious from what I'm told or remember but obviously wrong. After waking up the thought of me doing it hit me like a train and I became flooded with guilt to a ridiculous degree! Constantly playing it over and over in my mind and imagining people judging me and condemning me, I felt as if I'd stained myself in some way even though I knew it was ridiculous I couldn't shake it.
I carried on like that for almost 2 and a half years having periods when it wasn't bothering me to having it pop into my mind shaking it off and repeating.
That was until around 12 months ago when I heard of a local guy who was apparently a peodphile and committed suicide then the guy from the band "Linkin Park" who also killed himself and all of a sudden the thought popped into my head "what if you ended up doing that" it was instant and I felt it grab me.
Now that has completely taken over my mind all I can think of is "what if" "what if" or "you might be depressed and end up doing that" constantly trying to find comparisons with myself and others who have done it.
I have absolutely no desire to do that and it's ridiculous! I have a loving wife (who I've shared with) a good group of friends, 2 great kids and a steady income but it has struck a chord and now everything I do seems to remind me of it and it's having a strain on my life to some degree.
Ive done lots of tests online and keep scoring relatively low on the anxiety and depression also I'm am on week 6 of at home mindfullness course which is helping a little. But there is obviously and issue and I would just like some advice from anyone more expirianced in this.
Am I depressed/suffering from anxiety??
Thanks for reading. :)