View Full Version : How to not freak out about lumps/bumps and trust doctors?
A couple questions...when you have a lump/bump how do you deal with it without freaking out about it? I have had numerous tests and ultrasounds over the past almost 5 months. My latest fear was lymphoma. That has been ruled out with ultrasounds, a chest x-ray, and blood tests.
But the one thing that remains that I am fearful of is this small bump that I can see with my eyes (TMI) above my pubic area. If my memory serves me correctly, I first noticed it after the birth of my youngest son, so about 2 1/2 years ago.
The thing is, I've had 3 different types of doctors look at it: a general practitioner, a dermatologist, and a doctor at the radiology center. The dermatologist and the general practitioner felt it and said that it's a small lymph node. The general practitioner said that it's moveable so that's good. He tried to look at it with ultrasound, but he couldn't see it. He said this is a good thing and he told me to not worry about it. He tried to explain to me something about how things move around during pregnancy. So from what I gather, he was saying that it could be there because things moved around after my last pregnancy. The dermatologist said it's a tiny lymph node, maybe a cyst, but she definitely leaned towards lymph node, and didn't make a big deal about it.
When I went to a radiology center for a chest x-ray and ultrasound of my lymph nodes, the doctor there tried to look at it on the ultrasound machine as well. She couldn't find the specific bump and she couldn't see anything other than fat on the ultrasound. I asked her if it's a lymph node because another doctor said it was, and she said "No." She said that it's a small encapsulated bit of FAT, and it's nothing to worry about, that it's "nothing".
Okay...so what am I suppose to believe about this? Two doctors have said a small lymph node but can't see it on the ultrasound and tell me it's moveable, and to not worry about it. The third doctor tells me that this is a lump of fat and to not worry about it. How am I not supposed to worry when it seems like no one knows what the hell this is?? And I have never heard of random lumps/bumps just under your skin that you can see with your eyes, and in such a random place too, so I am not sure what to believe and freaking out because I feel like such an anomaly and I'm worried it's something really bad, since they don't seem to KNOW what it really is.
This bump is still there, I see it everyday, I try to avoid looking at it as it just scares me. How am I supposed to cope with this?
---------- Post added at 15:12 ---------- Previous post was at 14:43 ----------
Anyone? :unsure:
Looks like it's a harmless lipoma (fatty lump). Whatever it is 3 doctors have seen it and aren't concerned.
Looks like it's a harmless lipoma (fatty lump). Whatever it is 3 doctors have seen it and aren't concerned.
Pulisa, thank you for your answer. Is there a reason you believe the radiologist's assertion that it is a lipoma, since she could only see fat on the ultrasound, over the other 2 doctors (dermatologist just felt it, and GP felt it and did an ultrasound but said he couldn't see "it")?
lymphoma [...] has been ruled out with ultrasounds, a chest x-ray, and blood tests.
The general practitioner [...] told me to not worry about it
The dermatologist [...] didn't make a big deal about it
the doctor [said] it's nothing to worry about, that it's "nothing"
The thing is none of those of those professionals saw anything to worry about. No red flags. Nothing alarming. They're speculating on what benign thing it is but they're not going to waste too much time on the specifics of that because nothing suggests anything sinister in their educated opinion.
You've taken some very positive reassurance and turned it into a negative. Your anxiety has found the tiny chinks of doubt by focusing on their "disagreement" (exactly what it is) rather than their "agreement" (it's nothing to worry about).
The usual question now... are you taking any measures at the moment to address the underlying anxiety?
The thing is none of those of those professionals saw anything to worry about. No red flags. Nothing alarming. They're speculating on what benign thing it is but they're not going to waste too much time on the specifics of that because nothing suggests anything sinister in their educated opinion.
You've taken some very positive reassurance and turned it into a negative. Your anxiety has found the tiny chinks of doubt by focusing on their "disagreement" (exactly what it is) rather than their "agreement" (it's nothing to worry about).
The usual question now... are you taking any measures at the moment to address the underlying anxiety?
Okay that makes sense. I tend to focus on the negative. I'm sure that's the nature of anxiety.
I really hate this and I don't like seeing it everyday.
I am going to a psychologist once a week by the way. I am also practicing CBT techniques and trying to implement them as much as possible.
Okay that makes sense. I tend to focus on the negative. I'm sure that's the nature of anxiety.
I really hate this and I don't like seeing it everyday.
Yep, that's basically anxiety's MO!
I am going to a psychologist once a week by the way. I am also practicing CBT techniques and trying to implement them as much as possible.
Brilliant. It's not an instant cure, but work at it.
I am going to a psychologist once a week by the way. I am also practicing CBT techniques and trying to implement them as much as possible.
Great to hear! What does your psychologist think about you posting here for reassurance?
Positive thoughts
Let me ask you this: how well do you know your own body? Not in the sense of how much you can eat before feeling sick or something, but in the sense of being able to identify and name bones, muscles and the like without Google? You saw three different doctor's. They have likely seen more cancer patients or similar issues to yours than people you can name in your family.
Doctors are like mechanics for our bodies. If the mechanic takes a look at your car and says it's the fuel intake valve maki ng a noise, could you correct him? Would you even try, or just agree? Doctor's work as much with past experience as they do with their training. They know more about your body than Google can teach you. Listen to them, they know exactly what they are doing. Life isn't a sitcom where the doctor misdiagnoses or something.
Let me ask you this: how well do you know your own body? Not in the sense of how much you can eat before feeling sick or something, but in the sense of being able to identify and name bones, muscles and the like without Google? You saw three different doctor's. They have likely seen more cancer patients or similar issues to yours than people you can name in your family.
Doctors are like mechanics for our bodies. If the mechanic takes a look at your car and says it's the fuel intake valve maki ng a noise, could you correct him? Would you even try, or just agree? Doctor's work as much with past experience as they do with their training. They know more about your body than Google can teach you. Listen to them, they know exactly what they are doing. Life isn't a sitcom where the doctor misdiagnoses or something.
Good points, 42Falcon. I like your mechanic metaphor. You’re right, I wouldn’t question a mechanic because I know nothing about cars. I shouldn’t be questioning the doctors either.
I just wish they could agree on WHAT it is. That’s what’s worrying me.
Does it matter what it is if 3 doctors are unconcerned? It obviously does but can you explain why?
Does it matter what it is if 3 doctors are unconcerned? It obviously does but can you explain why?
Basically I am worried that none of them know what it is, and if none of them know what it is, how can they decide that it isn’t dangerous? ☹️
But they are not saying "we had better investigate this" are they? They say it's a harmless lesion and doctors know what they are looking for in terms of assessing lesions. I presume you don't like not having a definitive diagnosis but it appears there's no medical need for one?
But they are not saying "we had better investigate this" are they? They say it's a harmless lesion and doctors know what they are looking for in terms of assessing lesions. I presume you don't like not having a definitive diagnosis but it appears there's no medical need for one?
No they’re not. They’re all saying to not worry about it. You are right, they do know, and I’d think if there were any doubts about whether or not it was harmless, than at least ONE of the doctors would’ve suggested further evaluation/testing.
Thanks for the logic and advice ❤️
It's good that you are seeing a therapist to help you with your HA. I know how hard living with uncertainty can be but you have been assured that there is nothing to worry about and no need for any further investigations which is good news.
Basically I am worried that none of them know what it is, and if none of them know what it is, how can they decide that it isn’t dangerous? ☹️
Let's say you think you've got a dangerous wild lynx roaming in your garden.
Three independent wild animal experts come round and say no, it's a normal domestic cat. It's not big enough for a lynx, shows none of the distinctive markings, and doesn't act like a lynx.
But the three can't decide if it's a bengal, a sphinx or a normal tabby.
Their debate doesn't alter the fact it's not a lynx.
Sorry, I had a couple of drinks out last night before I posted this so maybe my analogy ended up a bit weird! But hopefully you get the point. :winks:
Sorry, I had a couple of drinks out last night before I posted this so maybe my analogy ended up a bit weird! But hopefully you get the point. :winks:
I loved it and it really makes sense! My doctor told me not that long ago.... "Don't go looking for zebras in a herd of horses."
Sorry, I had a couple of drinks out last night before I posted this so maybe my analogy ended up a bit weird! But hopefully you get the point. :winks:
Haha your analogy totally makes sense! I'm assuming you're talking about that I would find a wild lynx in my garden? :roflmao:
Thank you for the analogy. I appreciate that.
My therapist basically said, "Does it really matter what it is if they all agree it's nothing to worry about?" Well to the anxious/OCD mind...I really would like to know for sure what it is. But I'm just going to settle with that it's a lump of fat, since the radiologist was so sure and she is an expert in radiology, to include ultrasound.
He also said that radiologists see hundreds of cases and they will be able to tell the difference between what is normal and what is not normal, that it's not based on a feeling they have.
He told me that I need to continue with challenging my thoughts...BUT at what point will I finally believe what I am telling myself? Because right now, I will challenge the thought, and then the fear/worry pops up again minutes later. This is so difficult to deal with when the fear is so consuming and feels so real and always tries to pull me back in...
I loved it and it really makes sense! My doctor told me not that long ago.... "Don't go looking for zebras in a herd of horses."
Love it! Tempted to make that my signature!
---------- Post added at 15:33 ---------- Previous post was at 15:32 ----------
My therapist basically said, "Does it really matter what it is if they all agree it's nothing to worry about?"
Exactly. All doctors are bothered about is it's nothing dangerous. They're not going to waste time investigating which flavour of benign it is. :)
I’m in a similar boat. I have a line on my toe, very noticeable and it’s been there since November. I wasn’t concerned, then my GP said to get it looked at bc she didn’t know what it was, but it wasn’t a bruise. That scared me. I went to podiatry, he was not concerned in the slightest. He cut my nail down vertically to almost the beginning of the line (lower mid toe) he said bc he could do that without causing me pain that I must have injured my toe to lift the nail away from the nail bed and that the line is dried blood that will eventually grow out. Yesterday I had my semi annual total body exam in dermatology, she looked at it without me explaining anything and moved on. Then I told her what happened and what the podiatrist called it, Onycholsis-from trauma, she corrected the way I said it, looked again and said I’m so sorry that it scared you so much,, no worry about it at all.
Yet here I am, second guessing both of them with sudden stiffness around my big toe knuckle. I swear the sensation in that area is worse now that two doctors, one who specializes in feet and the other in skin, have looked at it. I keep doubting them. Why? I know that they know way more than I ever will about this. I cry about this because I know what I should be doing, and I know this doesn’t make sense, but my mind goes off.
I hate that you are going through this as well, my son is 22 months and I didn’t have HA until he was born, so you’re in good company friend. Hugs!
Haha your analogy totally makes sense! I'm assuming you're talking about that I would find a wild lynx in my garden? :roflmao:
Thank you for the analogy. I appreciate that.
My therapist basically said, "Does it really matter what it is if they all agree it's nothing to worry about?" Well to the anxious/OCD mind...I really would like to know for sure what it is. But I'm just going to settle with that it's a lump of fat, since the radiologist was so sure and she is an expert in radiology, to include ultrasound.
He also said that radiologists see hundreds of cases and they will be able to tell the difference between what is normal and what is not normal, that it's not based on a feeling they have.
He told me that I need to continue with challenging my thoughts...BUT at what point will I finally believe what I am telling myself? Because right now, I will challenge the thought, and then the fear/worry pops up again minutes later. This is so difficult to deal with when the fear is so consuming and feels so real and always tries to pull me back in...
Maybe try to remember that "don't go looking for zebras in a herd of horses" quote? It's amusing and not psychobabble hence easier to take in..and it will make you smile which is a great antidote to anxiety. Anything to lighten your mood and lessen the fear response..
I’m in a similar boat. I have a line on my toe, very noticeable and it’s been there since November. I wasn’t concerned, then my GP said to get it looked at bc she didn’t know what it was, but it wasn’t a bruise. That scared me. I went to podiatry, he was not concerned in the slightest. He cut my nail down vertically to almost the beginning of the line (lower mid toe) he said bc he could do that without causing me pain that I must have injured my toe to lift the nail away from the nail bed and that the line is dried blood that will eventually grow out. Yesterday I had my semi annual total body exam in dermatology, she looked at it without me explaining anything and moved on. Then I told her what happened and what the podiatrist called it, Onycholsis-from trauma, she corrected the way I said it, looked again and said I’m so sorry that it scared you so much,, no worry about it at all.
Yet here I am, second guessing both of them with sudden stiffness around my big toe knuckle. I swear the sensation in that area is worse now that two doctors, one who specializes in feet and the other in skin, have looked at it. I keep doubting them. Why? I know that they know way more than I ever will about this. I cry about this because I know what I should be doing, and I know this doesn’t make sense, but my mind goes off.
I hate that you are going through this as well, my son is 22 months and I didn’t have HA until he was born, so you’re in good company friend. Hugs!
Halle, I'm glad to know I'm not alone. My husband has informed me that I have always had these anxious tendencies but now they are more pronounced and have shifted towards my health. Why has it gotten worse within the past 5 months? I think that's because after years of me sweeping my abusive childhood and how I feel about that under the rug instead of really dealing with my sadness and anger, it's now knocked me on my arse in the form of a full-blown, anxiety-induced mental breakdown.
My therapist is trying to get me to focus on the why I feel this way...which is that my parents made me feel that I was unworthy of anything good, that I was a bad person, and to them, bad people were punished by God. I'm not speaking to them currently and haven't for 5.5 years, so in their eyes I am still "bad", so that must mean God's going to punish me. And of course, since I've had a lot of bad things happen to me in my life, when things are going good, there must be something really bad around the corner. And currently to me, psychologically, that means that something awful is cancer or some other debilitating, deadly disease.
In addition, my dad was a hypochondriac, and I watched my aunt, who I was very close to, and who was a very good person, slowly die of breast cancer when I was a teenager.
This theory didn't make complete sense to me when he first said it...because I was like, why health anxiety?? But put all together, it's starting to make sense why this is happening to me right now. The fear is just so consuming though that it's hard to believe that it has anything to do with unresolved issues in my past.
Also, my HA started after my last baby, so I can sympathize there. Hugs to you as well, my friend. It really doesn't make any logical sense, yet the fear feels very real.
Hey I deal with the exact same issues
I have two different lumps (one behind my ear and one inside my labia) that scare me so much. I want you to know you're not alone in worrying. If the doctors think it's nothing than it probably is nothing, after all they are the health professionals and not us
Okay guys so I have mostly been able to defeat this fear, which is good I guess. I know that the nature of HA is to jump from thing to thing...but I am wondering how you would handle the following situation.
I have had these lumps on my shins for...years? Not sure how many years. Probably 3-5 years, maybe longer. It runs in my family that we have fat collecting in our shins/calves, that's just where we show our weight I guess, and I am no exception. They aren't huge or anything but basically I have noticed when I look directly down at my left shin, I can see a noticeable difference between that and my right shin in that it looks bumpy. I showed my husband and he says that he sees bumps in my legs on both sides in roughly the same area. He says my left leg's bumps are slightly larger than my right leg, but I don't believe him since I feel like he's just saying that. Because when I look, they look A LOT different, the left leg bumps look MUCH larger than the right. I have a doctor's appointment to get it checked out and of course, as always, the wait is killing me.
Anyway I am scared for the following reasons: years ago, when I first was starting to Google things, I came across something called soft tissue sarcoma. So I am scared it is that. A tumor in the muscle basically. Or in my case, a few tumors in my muscle. I also think I remember that this cancer is slow-growing, so that scares me even more, because Ive known about these bumps for a few years now and what if it's that? I mean what else could it possibly be!?! My legs shouldn't be bumpy I don't think :weep:
My husband thinks it's muscles and one side built up more than the other, but when I move my skin, it looks like a bump, not an entire muscle, though it's hard to feel that it's a bump, I can only feel a slight indentation between the muscle I think and another muscle in my shin? Not sure. On the other side of my shin I can see two tinier bumps when I move my skin and shin a light on it, but they are not as obvious at the left side. They are at the same height. But honestly none of this makes sense. If it's a muscle, it wouldn't appear to be a bump when I look at it from above while standing, right?
I don't know what to do while I wait. I am extremely scared about what this could be. I can't go back in time and stop myself from Googling soft tissue sarcoma. I just remember it and now I don't know what to do since I am so abnormal and have these weird bumps. I am trying to get better and I don't want to Google soft tissue sarcoma again because I'm afraid it will scare me even more. But then isn't that a form of avoidance which I'm not supposed to be doing either??
What am I supposed to do? I am scared! :weep:
Tell your psychologist that your HA is running rampant and that you are posting on an internet forum about your perceived illnesses. Seriously,you have to...
Tell your psychologist that your HA is running rampant and that you are posting on an internet forum about your perceived illnesses. Seriously,you have to...
I will tell him when I see him on Wednesday...either way this isn't something in my head, I can literally see the bump, even my husband can... :weep:
---------- Post added at 17:28 ---------- Previous post was at 14:40 ----------
Okay I am trying to be rational now while I wait for a doctor to see it...I'm not actually sure how long it's been there, but I know it's at least been months. I am still worried about the possibility of soft tissue sarcoma, especially if it is slow-growing, I just don't want to Google it and possibly scare myself more, especially if it ends up being nothing.
So, fearful thought: these bumps in my shins are soft tissue sarcomas.
belief in thought: 50%
evidence: visible bumps in my shins.
rational thoughts:
-I believe I read somewhere...most bumps and lumps are benign...?
-It could be a fatty lump since I know I tend to collect fat in my lower legs.
-It could be a hematoma from me bumping into something, but do they stick around for several months, possibly over a year to two years?
The question that I can't answer is, how slow-growing is slow-growing for cancer? If it's slow-growing, then after 6+ months to a year, or even 2 years, would I know that soon if it was actually cancer?
Also wondering if it's normal to have bumps and lumps on your shins that stick around?
---------- Post added at 19:03 ---------- Previous post was at 17:28 ----------
I guess no one wants to help me, is it because this is something to actually be concerned about or is there another reason? :unsure:
I guess no one wants to help me, is it because this is something to actually be concerned about or is there another reason? :unsure:
It's that three pages of reassurance hasn't helped :shrug: You also never answered what your therapist thinks about your use of the forum.
From an earlier post...
The thing is none of those of those professionals saw anything to worry about. No red flags. Nothing alarming. They're speculating on what benign thing it is but they're not going to waste too much time on the specifics of that because nothing suggests anything sinister in their educated opinion.
You've taken some very positive reassurance and turned it into a negative. Your anxiety has found the tiny chinks of doubt by focusing on their "disagreement" (exactly what it is) rather than their "agreement" (it's nothing to worry about).
The usual question now... are you taking any measures at the moment to address the underlying anxiety?
IMO, the "told ya so gang" will be coming around :winks:
Positive thoughts
The "help" you want is continued talk about your symptoms which isn't actually help at all as it just enables your HA.
It's that three pages of reassurance hasn't helped :shrug: You also never answered what your therapist thinks about your use of the forum.
From an earlier post...
IMO, the "told ya so gang" will be coming around :winks:
Positive thoughts
I know Fishmanpa..but I am actually talking about my new fear...the bumps on my shins :weep:
I know Fishmanpa..but I am actually talking about my new fear...the bumps on my shins :weep:
New or old, it doesn't matter :shrug: It's the same pattern. And you still haven't answered the question about what your therapist thinks about you posting for reassurance. ADDED: I see you're going to discuss it on Wednesday. I have a feeling I know what he'll say ;)
Positive thoughts
New or old, it doesn't matter :shrug: It's the same pattern. And you still haven't answered the question about what your therapist thinks about you posting for reassurance. ADDED: I see you're going to discuss it on Wednesday. I have a feeling I know what he'll say ;)
Positive thoughts
When you said that you have a feeling the told ya so gang will be coming around, were you referring to everything I'm worried about?
Yes I'm sure that the therapist won't be happy about it...
The CBT exercise I posted above about the lumps on my shins...am I at least on the right track?
I have bumps on my legs too. I have one the size of a 1/2 dollar right below my knee and one on the back of my right calf muscle. My Dr. said they are just fatty tissue lumps. Like you, I was scared of the same thing.
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