virgin

[worriedwithfear]

Anyone who fits either of these categories -

A. In their mid 30s and still a virgin but have had previous relationships?

B. In their mid 30s and still a virgin but have not had previous relationships?

If yes to either have you thought about committing suicide due to this lack of sexual contact?

[NervUs]

I don;t understand- who is lacking the sexual attraction? The virgin, or the partner? In other words, why is the sex not happening?

If it is the person who has never had sex (I presume this is you), maybe you are asexual and there is NOTHING wrong with that.

If people are not attracted to you, NO, I don't see that as a reason to commit suicide. Life is measured in all sorts of ways, and there is a lot more to it than sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not sure this is the right board for this but, if you are feeling unhappy with the status quo, your social skills, or your lack or sexual desire (because I am not sure what the problem is), maybe a therapist could help you work through the issue. It is not a reason to end it. The people in your life would miss you.

You can't change people, but you can learn to accept and work with YOU. And again, sex is just a sliver of a healthy life, and lots of people are living without it.

[O_O]

Perhaps the social anxiety board is the most appropriate one. I would say that the OP almost certainly isn't asexual since they seem to want to have sex but it just hasn't happened to them yet.

Mid-30s is a little late in the game, not gonna lie :) But, there are still plenty of people out there who get to their 30s and even later without having sex... even if they want to. It could be for a number of reasons. Shyness, social anxiety, not meeting the right partner, upbringing, etc etc.

You clearly want to have sex and there is absolutely no reason why it shouldn't happen for you. Please don't consider hurting yourself over this! Do you have any idea why it hasn't happened for you yet? What sort of things have you tried to meet potential partners? And what exactly are you looking for - just sex, initially, or a more long-lasting relationship?

[Elen]

Hi

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your post was moved from its original place to a sub-forum that is more relevant to your problem.

This is nothing personal - it just enables us to keep posts about the same problems in the relevant forums so other members with any experience with the issues can find them more easily.

Regards

Elen Admin

[Bigboyuk]

I think its pretty cool to be a virgin in todays society even at 30, but we still don't know what your problem is, we can advise more when we know more :) ATB

[charliepanayi]

I'm category B. I'm not suicidal over it or anything, but it does feel desperately lonely at times.

[Bee]

Perhaps the social anxiety board is the most appropriate one. I would say that the OP almost certainly isn't asexual since they seem to want to have sex but it just hasn't happened to them yet.

Mid-30s is a little late in the game, not gonna lie :) But, there are still plenty of people out there who get to their 30s and even later without having sex... even if they want to. It could be for a number of reasons. Shyness, social anxiety, not meeting the right partner, upbringing, etc etc.

You clearly want to have sex and there is absolutely no reason why it shouldn't happen for you. Please don't consider hurting yourself over this! Do you have any idea why it hasn't happened for you yet? What sort of things have you tried to meet potential partners? And what exactly are you looking for - just sex, initially, or a more long-lasting relationship?

Who do you think you are to make the judgement that Mid-30's is a little late in the game??? The rest of your post is valid but i don't think its right for you to judge at what age is right for someone to lose their virginity its down to personal preference!!!!

[Hollow]

Some guys think that everyone else in their age group is getting laid so they get depressed thinking about that.The reality is that there is only a small pool of men and women who are hooking up and the rest are going without. The explosion of dating sites and the new social order we live under has changed the dynamics of the "hook up" culture. It's a tough situation for guys and a lot of them just give up and or get hooked on porn.

[fishman65]

I would agree mid-30s is not necessarily late in the game. I was a virgin at 30 when I met Mrs F, she had been with MANY partners so we were polar opposites. There were many reasons I had remained a virgin, mainly a fear of commitment combined with fear of rejection if they discovered my anxiety problems. Add to this that I got drunk all the time and I was a non-starter when it came to sex.

I always think it's risky to try and categorise people. We are all unique and sex is just one dimension of who we are. Also being 52 now, I find I'm more interested in gardening :blush:

[tn13]

I'm in my mid-late 20s and very inexperienced relationship-wise but it doesn't bother me. Lots more to life and sex and relationships are just not a priority to me. I'm not asexual but I'm just not all that interested and could take it or leave it depending on what happens in my life (and of course anxiety doesn't help). Everyone is different.

Don't let societal pressure make you feel like there's something wrong with you, it makes me sad that you'd even consider this is a reason to feel suicidal. Please consider talking to someone about these feelings. Look at the good things you do have in your life, whether that's career, friends, family, hobbies, whatever. There is a lot more than sex that makes life worth it.