Soapy
15-02-18, 14:58
Hi folks,
I'm 46yrs old and new here but i'm on anti depressants since my early 20's due to a neighbour raping me when i was 11yrs old for the first time and then had to live everyday with him saying hi to my Dad or Mam with a smile on his face and then keeping the torture remarks for me when he met me alone...he lived 40yards from my front door and i lived with his threats of what he would do to my mam and younger sister for about 4 yrs before he moved abroad...
i tried to kill myself from overdose after my closest friend died when we were 21yrs old...my mam asked after i got out of hospital why and i told her for the first time what happened to me as a child, thinking this "was it"....things were gonna happen, dad would sort it out.....I was immediatelly told word for word
"what ever you do don't tell your father it will only make things worse"
sentenced to another 15yrs in my head before i finally broke down at 37yrs of age with a beautiful wife and 2 beautiful children of my own and ended up in a mental ward for a few weeks....
Panic was my world until xanax and venaflaxine.....
I drop every so often mentally but i try and try everyday to become me....
I started mirap 15mg a couple of days ago and apart from feeling tired and the weirdest of dreams it seems to be ok....
I will keep updating my story here...
thanks for listening...:hugs:
I'm 46yrs old and new here but i'm on anti depressants since my early 20's due to a neighbour raping me when i was 11yrs old for the first time and then had to live everyday with him saying hi to my Dad or Mam with a smile on his face and then keeping the torture remarks for me when he met me alone...he lived 40yards from my front door and i lived with his threats of what he would do to my mam and younger sister for about 4 yrs before he moved abroad...
i tried to kill myself from overdose after my closest friend died when we were 21yrs old...my mam asked after i got out of hospital why and i told her for the first time what happened to me as a child, thinking this "was it"....things were gonna happen, dad would sort it out.....I was immediatelly told word for word
"what ever you do don't tell your father it will only make things worse"
sentenced to another 15yrs in my head before i finally broke down at 37yrs of age with a beautiful wife and 2 beautiful children of my own and ended up in a mental ward for a few weeks....
Panic was my world until xanax and venaflaxine.....
I drop every so often mentally but i try and try everyday to become me....
I started mirap 15mg a couple of days ago and apart from feeling tired and the weirdest of dreams it seems to be ok....
I will keep updating my story here...
thanks for listening...:hugs: