PennyLane85
16-02-18, 18:08
Hello, iv had had health anxiety now for 5 long years (with a years reprise half way through that) anyway it is back and stronger than ever.
Since September 2017 alone I have ‘had’ breast cancer, lymphoma, cervixal cancer, and neck cancer. To say I’m worn out is an understatement! I feel so low and hopeless it is not going to get better.
I look around and see ‘normal people’ living their lives, laughing...happy. That’s all I want. I have a lovely family, a job and good friends and yet I feel like I am drowning in an invisible terminal illness.
I feel like everyday is a challenge to ‘hold it together’ and at least appear normal to work colleagues...that alone is exhausting! At home I feel preoccupied either tying on Dr Google or wallowing in the inevitable pending doom of my ‘illness’ yet to be diagnosed. Even if I go a week without thinking about my health or the dreaded C word it is only a matter of time before it comes crashing back down on me with a discovery of a new symptom or the realisation that I have ‘neglected’ an existing one.
Please can anyone offer some positive words or successful recovery from this? At the moment I am worrying about a recent neck lump and convinced that this is it...:weep:
Since September 2017 alone I have ‘had’ breast cancer, lymphoma, cervixal cancer, and neck cancer. To say I’m worn out is an understatement! I feel so low and hopeless it is not going to get better.
I look around and see ‘normal people’ living their lives, laughing...happy. That’s all I want. I have a lovely family, a job and good friends and yet I feel like I am drowning in an invisible terminal illness.
I feel like everyday is a challenge to ‘hold it together’ and at least appear normal to work colleagues...that alone is exhausting! At home I feel preoccupied either tying on Dr Google or wallowing in the inevitable pending doom of my ‘illness’ yet to be diagnosed. Even if I go a week without thinking about my health or the dreaded C word it is only a matter of time before it comes crashing back down on me with a discovery of a new symptom or the realisation that I have ‘neglected’ an existing one.
Please can anyone offer some positive words or successful recovery from this? At the moment I am worrying about a recent neck lump and convinced that this is it...:weep: