Always guilty, think my thoughts have killed people

[mfh010]

I’ve been obsessed by certain thoughts, for about 6 years now, that i would have the thought "i would sacrifice for something to happen", it was originally about to stop feeling guilty. The thought that I have been obsessing over for about a year, is that I was watching an nfl match and I thought “ I would sacrifice a person, to make a team (I was going for) win this game.” The opposing team had the chance to win just had to kick a short field goal, however he missed it, I then started to feel a bit anxious about it. So i thought it would be a good idea to have the opposite thought of "i would sacrifice this person for the team not to win," when they were about to, to prove my thoughts dont mean anything. Then when the team were about to win also only had to kick an easy fieldgoal i had that thoought however they also choked and missed!!. And now have been feeling guilty all the time and have obsessed over it every day since then, I’m not sure what I can do, its just was i just having these thoughts at such an unlikely time or did my thoughts actually do something.

[Kev_kwm]

Hello there. These are intrusive Thoughts. The are only thoughts they do no reflect the person you are. You are a good person and the reason you are feeling so bad about the thoughts is because it is an awful thought, many people have them including myself. Tell your self "This is an intrusive thought. You can tell because it feels so awful"
Accept them as just thoughts and move on or you will end up having a poor quality of life.

[mfh010]

Yes i do accept that these are intrusive thoughts, its just that it linked up perfectly with something that was so unexpected, that i cant just accept it as intrusive thoughts.

[Kev_kwm]

Im the same as you. Im always over thinking everything,tginking the worst. My life has been goin great recently untill i had a panic attack a few weeks back and it k ocked me sideways and i got to a point where i didn't want to live anymore. My fear is loosing everything i have and everyone i love, my fiancee, parents and my dogs. I usually fin myself arguing with thoughts. Ive started reading more about our illness and i really helps understand it better. Your thoughts are fears, you are worrying about danger where there is no danger. Anxiety OCD is a Bully my friend and its bullied me for years! It grabs hold of you and dosnt want to let go. Im always up for a chat if u would like to talk. I find talking to fellow Sufferers really helps.