me again...

[spacebunnyx]

I've been writing about my smears/colposcopy a few times in this forum. I have my operatation next friday and I have to say I am absolutely terrified. I keep crying, I worry I have cancer and that it has spread (i have a cough at the moment). I can't sleep, I cry on my boyfriend literally on the hour. I can't stand the wait, i can't eat, i'm exhausted and this obviously just fuels my anxiety. My GP prescribed me Propanalol today (i think thats what its called - some kind of low dose beta blocker) in an effort to calm me down.
This is just awful, waiting for time to pass - and i only had to wait 2 weeks for my op!:weep:

I'm 26 and I don't think i've ever felt so terrible in my whole life. I've had health anxiety before but its never been so REAL.
My boyfriend tries to make me be positive but I find it so difficult. sorry if this kind of depressing ramble is not what people want to hear...

[nomorepanic]

I had a colposcopy about 12 years ago.

If it was a severe risk they would rush you through pretty damn quick so there is nothing to worry about at all.

They told me this on the phone. They said it was just routine and a precaution not a high risk.

Don't let it worry you - you will not drop dead between now and then and they have caught it in time to stop it ever progressing.

Good luck

[cattttt]

They are doing the colposcopy to see if you have the beginnings of cancer-if there is anything malignant there it will be at such an early stage that it will be entirely treatable. You certainly don't have advanced cancer at the moment. Nicola is right, if there was anything really sucpicious they would have rushed you through, so please try to stop getting yourself in a state, you really will be fine.

[EebyJeeby]

Hi Jess,

Just thought I'd let you know that I've had treatment too, including removal of abnormal cells and a cone biopsy. I've been clear for over 10 years now.

They sort it all out long before it ever turns into anything sinister. That's the good thing about it all and you'll be in better shape than most after Friday, with a new MOT!

Eeb x

[Piglet]

I think I've already said to you just how many friends I've had with their experiences and treatments and that they are all fine all these years later, so I think I'll comment on the how to deal with how you are feeling instead.

Obviously if you have a week to wait then you don't want to be filling all that time with scary thoughts - we all know that scary thoughts = scary physical feelings, so it's definately in your interests to try and curb this where you can.

I have got pretty practised at stopping my scary thoughts in their tracks now - I can't prevent them happening but as soon as I realise I am thinking negatively then I can stop. The reason I can stop is I have finally realised just how crap they make me feel and it's ridiculous to let myself get so worked up over thoughts.

On days when I really really struggle then rather than try and stop the thoughts I physically find something to do. Go out for a walk with your boyfriend to the shop to buy a magazine, go and have a coffe somewhere (assuming you're not agoraphobic like me of course) tidy out a cupboard. it can be anything at all but at least you will have had just a tiny respite from worrying and those little respites are just what you need!!!

Can I recommend a good book for you by Shannon Duncan 'Present moment awareness'. It's not a difficult book, it's very down to earth read and I can honestly say if you can aim to live only in the day you are in this reaps its rewards on you time and time again.

I myself have had a difficult few weeks and by taking this approach coupled with a few other things (Paul Mckenna cd being one of them) has helped me get through some scary stuff.

You can do this - I want you to tell yourself that over and over again!!!:yesyes:
Love Piglet :flowers: