New to the site - tumour worries

[rue99]

I would say I have been suffering with HA for nearly two years, however I would say I have progressively become a lot worse this last six months.

I am only 18, and feel that I cannot live my life because every day I am haunted by the irritating and persistent notion that there is - or very soon will be- some terrible illness that ruins my life...or will end it. And I am frustrated at myself because growing up I would always be the fearless character of my friends, providing logic and sensible advice to the other people around me that would be worrying.

I am now on around Number 10 of life-threatening self diagnosis. Brain tumour.

My fears are so intense that I hate to even spell it out or admit that I am acknowledging the possibility. Only 2 weeks ago I got back normal results from a full blood count to rule out Leukaemia (I had noticed a few red dots on my leg).

This time my fears stem from a feeling of pressure in my left cheek which has been there around 5 days now. I feel as though I have experienced this before. I have always had terrible problems with my ears and Eustachian tube (ears constantly pop and crackle) therefore my logical side is telling me that this is a sinus issue. But then thoughts come creeping in of the time I had tingling hands a couple of weeks ago. Then I have a couple of stabbing sensations in the head (in different locations.) I often have muscle twitches all over the body, which have been very intense before and gone away, but have returned.

I have always found great comfort from reading through these forums, and would appreciate any perspective anybody may have directly for me.

Thank you in advance
-A

[Crispyswinger1]

Hi :)

I don't really have any advice for you as I'm in the same boat and have been for many years! Every time I have something wrong, I fear the worst...Googling intensifies these worries and of course further feeds my thoughts that I have something seriously wrong.

The issue I personally have is that every issue I have seems to be quite specific and different to the "norm". E.g., a few years ago I had a pushing, pressing feeling in one specific part of my head with dizziness when I stud up for too long, I had to take 2 weeks off work due to not being able to stand because of this. Self diagnoses - Brain Cancer.

I went for multiple tests Incl. MRIs and CT Scans and even saw a Neurologist, they found nothing...issue went away!

Few years later I had the same types of feelings in my abdomen, (no dizziness this time), this went on for MONTHs. I again had CT scans, MRI etc. and they found nothing...A specialist stated that it seemed to be down to a back injury I had which was agitating my rib and causing the pressing feeling in my abdomen. Self Diagnosis - Stomach Cancer.

I'm AGAIN having localising issues in my throat! Pressing, stuck feeling, have had tests etc. etc. and you can already tell what I'm self diagnosing.

Anyway, I'm aware I have Anxiety and have seen a specialist about this also, it didn't really help but I am just aware that I tend to jump to the worst case scenario and even after all the tests, I struggle to believe the doctors...I mean, couldn't they have missed something?

I too sit here most days worrying that something will or already is threatening my life and that I probably only have a few months to live. My mind is always planning for the worst case, thinking of my own demise, who's going to attend my funeral, what my partner will do WHEN I die in the upcoming months etc. I mean I do believe this...I've no clue if it's true or not but I believe it is and it takes hold of my life and makes it very hard to get through every day as I'm constantly planning for the worst and worrying.

Sorry if it seems like I just talked about myself and didn't offer any targeted advice for you, if I knew what to suggest...I'd take it onboard myself to aid my own worries! Just thought that an insight into my worries and various outcomes based off expensive tests may help reduce your worries? Maybe it didn't...Sorry if that's the case.

If you wanna chat, just reply and I'll reply back :)