mark1980
19-02-18, 18:52
Hello all - this amazing forum has been a huge help in the past and I'm reaching out in the hope of some sense in understanding my current mentality.
My perspective is blurred by my recent decision to quit alcohol and replace it with some Xanax I got from a friend which I'm now weaning myself off after realising how dangerous and addictive it is (I'm seeing my GP in 2 days to ask for help).
I'm going through what feels like severe mental change - massive anxiety and dark depressive moments - and it's affecting how I feel about my wife and marriage. I feel like I'm falling out of love with her and have become besotted with a work colleague who I barely know and is soon getting married herself. I can't make sense of my feelings!
Part of me wants desperately to act on how I'm feeling. Like I have to know if there is any feeling reciprocated from her and if the connection I feel has substance. Deep down it's dangerous and delusional (not to mention wrong and selfish), yet I can't shake the idea that perhaps this is part of my destiny and I can't deal with not knowing.
I'm seeing my GP in 2 days so that will help and I'm reaching out for help everywhere I can. It just feels so trapping and frightening to be going through this!
To anyone who can make some sense of this - I would really appreciate your thoughts x
My perspective is blurred by my recent decision to quit alcohol and replace it with some Xanax I got from a friend which I'm now weaning myself off after realising how dangerous and addictive it is (I'm seeing my GP in 2 days to ask for help).
I'm going through what feels like severe mental change - massive anxiety and dark depressive moments - and it's affecting how I feel about my wife and marriage. I feel like I'm falling out of love with her and have become besotted with a work colleague who I barely know and is soon getting married herself. I can't make sense of my feelings!
Part of me wants desperately to act on how I'm feeling. Like I have to know if there is any feeling reciprocated from her and if the connection I feel has substance. Deep down it's dangerous and delusional (not to mention wrong and selfish), yet I can't shake the idea that perhaps this is part of my destiny and I can't deal with not knowing.
I'm seeing my GP in 2 days so that will help and I'm reaching out for help everywhere I can. It just feels so trapping and frightening to be going through this!
To anyone who can make some sense of this - I would really appreciate your thoughts x