Munki
20-02-18, 15:42
This is what I'm battling with at the moment. Massively.
At 42, I've been an actress, have my own business and have completed a Psychology degree and Masters. I don't feel that achieving and 'pushing my boundaries' is an alien concept to me in the least. I live with anxiety which I am medicated for (Efexor 75mg) and frequently push myself through crippling anxiety and pain.
I have realised, having been self employed for a number of years, that I am keen to remain this way and decided to train in semi permanent makeup. Yes, I've had a very varied background but I guess I like to throw myself into many thing rather than being just one identity. I'm a free spirit so it suits someone like me :)
Doing the course sent me into overdrive anxiety. I mean, anxiety like I have NEVER known. I was crying beforehand, feeling sick and had a terrible headache. Physical symptoms induced by stress. I assumed it was just fear at tattooing someones face - that's scary, right?
Since then, I've booked people in and done 1 client (as well as 2 in training). The results were okay and I enjoyed it. However, when I so much as think about it, I start to spin and feel incredibly sick. I've had palpitations, shakes and hot sweats. This is literally off the scale for me. I had several people booked in this week but have had a complete mental breakdown so have had to cancel them all.
I honestly don't know whether I should walk away from this as maybe its just that bit TOO far out of the comfort zone, or try and fight through it. Its like nothing I have ever known and I've had BAD!
This whole FEEL THE FEAR thing is all well and good, but sometimes there will be things that aren't suitable for us. This is what I'm wondering; why is my body reacting so hideously? Honestly, this is like being led to my execution bad.
Do I fight through? Or do I realise its not for me and walk away?
At 42, I've been an actress, have my own business and have completed a Psychology degree and Masters. I don't feel that achieving and 'pushing my boundaries' is an alien concept to me in the least. I live with anxiety which I am medicated for (Efexor 75mg) and frequently push myself through crippling anxiety and pain.
I have realised, having been self employed for a number of years, that I am keen to remain this way and decided to train in semi permanent makeup. Yes, I've had a very varied background but I guess I like to throw myself into many thing rather than being just one identity. I'm a free spirit so it suits someone like me :)
Doing the course sent me into overdrive anxiety. I mean, anxiety like I have NEVER known. I was crying beforehand, feeling sick and had a terrible headache. Physical symptoms induced by stress. I assumed it was just fear at tattooing someones face - that's scary, right?
Since then, I've booked people in and done 1 client (as well as 2 in training). The results were okay and I enjoyed it. However, when I so much as think about it, I start to spin and feel incredibly sick. I've had palpitations, shakes and hot sweats. This is literally off the scale for me. I had several people booked in this week but have had a complete mental breakdown so have had to cancel them all.
I honestly don't know whether I should walk away from this as maybe its just that bit TOO far out of the comfort zone, or try and fight through it. Its like nothing I have ever known and I've had BAD!
This whole FEEL THE FEAR thing is all well and good, but sometimes there will be things that aren't suitable for us. This is what I'm wondering; why is my body reacting so hideously? Honestly, this is like being led to my execution bad.
Do I fight through? Or do I realise its not for me and walk away?